


The Maiden Who Fell Through Time

by DangerElf



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV), The Warrior Chronicles | The Saxon Stories - Bernard Cornwell
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/M, Recreational Drug Use, Time Travel, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-03-09 17:16:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 77,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18921511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerElf/pseuds/DangerElf
Summary: In the 3rd century there is a story which tells of a man whom had carried a child across a river; a child unbeknownst to him, who was later revealed to be a savior. Time is fluid. It flows like the stream of a river, and also grows like the tendrils of a tree. Intersecting and interweaving, multiple timelines converge over one another...overlapping...overcoming...and washed away like sand in the rising tide.Death is never the end. Life is never the beginning. And destiny...destiny is all.Now, was it destiny that led a knight to travel across time and space, carrying a seed? Was it destiny that two lovers met and consummated their love all on the same night? Was, it destiny that caused a fatal accident that orphaned a young girl? Was, it destiny that led young Elena Wren to put the St. Christopher's medallion around her neck? And was it destiny that led her to wake up far from home in a time not her own? Was it due to destiny that she met and joined with a band of misfit warriors? Was it destiny that one of them captured her heart? She never believed in fate or destiny before, but all that was beginning to change. The impossible had proven itself to be possible...and nothing would ever be the same again.





	1. "The Dixie Cup Maiden & The Meet Cute"

**Author's Note:**

> ***ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MY WATTPAD- CROSS POSTING HERE!*** [The audience on WattPad is nice but a little small for this particular fandom...so, I thought I'd try my luck here. But, if you're interested in reading it there it's under the same title and username. I may or may not in the future be adding visuals on the WattPad version when finished.]
> 
> FYI- I had to edit the summary for this story a little bit from my original (I'm too wordy apparently and it was past the allowed character limit...whoops LOL). So, if you really want to see the original summary or whatever, then you can check out my WattPad where it's also posted.
> 
> \-----
> 
> Alright, so now down to business...
> 
> Okay! So, I've not sat down and written something creative for years...and it has especially been a hot second since I've written any FanFiction (I've literally only been writing academic papers for the past few and stuff for my coursework...basically, terribly and horribly boring stuff). So, I'm suffice to say I bit rusty over here...so, don't be too harsh on me guys? Please? Lol.
> 
> Moreover, most of my main experience/comfort area with writing has been with screenwriting (I did a lot of screenwriting in my past dalliances as a filmmaker)...so some of the writing style and format may be a tad indicative of that.
> 
> Also, it should be noted I have a special soft spot for any and all stories containing any element of time travel...so, I will be shamelessly indulging in that arguably cliché and oftentimes overused FanFiction trope. (Ahem, sorry not sorry...but real talk guys, I love that stuff and seriously cannot get enough of it.)
> 
> ALSO, SUPER IMPORTANT STUFF TO NOTE BEFORE GOING FURTHER!!!
> 
> Before you start reading, I want to warn you all of a few things that will be arising within the story itself...
> 
> 1\. The story will start off more modern and will probably be a bit weird or a bit slower for some of you (I like to try and build up my characters and their backgrounds a bit before jumping into it all...so there might be what you all consider filler in some parts...so for that I apologize...also, just know that even some of the weirder and seemingly more out of place stuff will be revisited later on). But, seriously despite the aforementioned, I sincerely hope you stick with it and make it past the first few chapters...I promise it'll be worth it!
> 
> 2\. UNI IS AN UNKIND AND HORRIBLE MONSTER (as is life, my brain, my various neuroticisms and ever occurring health issues FYI). So, that being said I will try my best to post periodically (either in bulk batches here and there or every other week or so); and again, I'm currently in university right now...so, I frequently find myself quite busy (when ahem, I'm of course not slacking on my coursework to write FanFiction over here for you guys). Basically, this is an apology in advance if I am a little slow on the posts...again, just bear with me folks! It will eventually come!
> 
> 3\. There will be lots of vulgarities and loads of profanity throughout the story...so if you're sensitive to foul mouthed women...then this might not be a story for you my friend I'm sorry to say. Also, there will be drug references/drug usage from time to time within chapters (nothing mega serious however, just marijuana)...if this bothers you, I'm sorry but once again perhaps this isn't your sort of story my friend?
> 
> 4\. There will be trigger warning NSFW explicit content and instances of violence, assault, and/or abuse within this story (I will add a disclaimer to the top of any chapter that contains the stuff so you can either brace yourself a bit before you get into reading them or skip them entirely). Also, not to worry not all the NSFW explicit stuff will be trigger-warning-worthy-horrible-things (I'm not an absolute sadistic monster obviously)...and so there will also be plenty of good kinds of NSFW explicit content ;) if you catch my meaning...
> 
> (But, again seriously if anything makes you uncomfortable please refrain from reading or just try and skip parts if you want...I really don't want to make anyone upset or uncomfortable here...)
> 
> Also, the pairings in this FanFiction run the gamut a bit but will likely be as follows- OC/Uhtred & OC/Finan & OC/OC.
> 
> And for all you Finan fans out there...don't worry I got you. ;) Trust me you will not be disappointed.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the story! Cheers! <3 xoxo
> 
> [Oh, and please let me know what you all think! I love to hear from people and I'm very open to any and all suggestions you may have!]

* * *

 

Dancehall Disco- Halloween night- 1994.

 

Loud music plays and the party is in full gear. People in costume line the hall and dance to such Halloween classics as _The Monster Mash_ on the dancefloor. A young woman dressed like a medieval maiden holds an empty plastic Dixie cup in her hand. She whispers something over to her friends- a bumblebee, a sexy go-go dancing robot, and a Cleopatra. The woman's friends' motion to her that they can't hear her over the music. She gestures to her cup, and they nod seemingly getting her meaning, and continue dancing.

The young maiden goes over to refill her drink at the makeshift popup bar and places her order with the vampire behind the counter. The vampire hits the tap of a beer keg and fills her cup, passing it back to her. The maiden thanks the bartender and hands him a bill- he shakes his head at her and tells her not to worry about it and that it's on the house; he then shoots her a cheeky little wink. She blushes, smiles, and offers him her thanks.

The maiden takes her drink and squeezes through the congestion of the party- pushing past costumed partygoers. She heads down a side hallway and passes by a large queue to the bathroom; she sighs, thankful that she hasn't yet had to relieve herself tonight. She walks further away from the party and the loud noise of the music; hoping to get some peace and quiet to herself for a moment. Finding a little silent spot down the corridor and off to the side a ways, she stops and leans against the concrete wall of the interior. She sighs heavily to herself before taking a sip of her drink.

The air around the maiden lies heavy and thick; suffocating her and causing the woman to begin to feel lightheaded. At that moment a large and aggressive gust of wind blows through the hall causing the outside doors to fly wide open. The startled maiden chokes on her drink and starts coughing. Lightening illuminates the exterior through the now open doors adjacent to her. Following this strange and sudden gust of wind, the door to the utility closet situated across from the woman begins to vibrate and shake violently. Loud buzzing and humming can be heard in the woman's ears, drowning out the sound of the music and the revelry of the partygoers. The humming and buzzing noise comes to an abrupt halt as a huge thud and crash is heard from within the closet itself. The maiden freezes in terror staring wide-eyed at the door and then back down to her drink (she hadn't thought that she had drunk that much but who knows?).

The door to the closet flies open; much to the horror of the Dixie cup maiden; and a fully armored knight stumbles forcefully backwards into her, causing her to spill her drink. The knight whips around so suddenly, that he nearly loses his footing entirely and almost falls on top of the young woman. He somehow manages to regain his balance however, bracing himself against the concrete wall; beneath him pinned against this wall lies a terrified yet curious and lovely looking maiden.

The maiden looks down at her now beer stained wet gown, obviously peeved, and then back up to the handsome knight who was hovering uncomfortably above her. He wore quite an authentic costume she had thought upon taking in his full form, which loomed above her in a dangerously close proximity. She remarked internally to herself, that his armor was quite realistic looking and that the only thing that was missing was a helmet to make it truly authentic- she had also supposed now that some people were taking the matter of this evenings costume contest rather seriously, and that there wasn't a chance in hell for either her or her friends at winning this thing.

At that very moment, one of the maiden's friends; the bumblebee; stumbles drunkenly into the corridor and takes notice of the knight and her friend in what appears to be a rather close and intimate moment.

"AWWWHHH!!! GET IT GIRL!!!" The drunk bumblebee yells out gleefully to her friend.

The maiden turns to the bumblebee in horror. "GINA!"

"You get your knight in shining arm-armor...and yo-you..." The bumblebee slurs, burps, and hiccups, wobbling where she stands. "Yo-youuu ride that stud off into the sunset...!"

"Oh...my...God..." The maiden responds mortified.

"We're not waiting up for you! Okay! BYYYYEEEEEE!!!" Gina quickly spits out before stumbling off back in the direction of the dance floor.

The knight lets out a warm chuckle and the maiden quickly turns to him her face flush with embarrassment. The knight takes in her appearance appreciatively, and the maiden does the same of the knight. Their eyes meet and they both smile awkwardly. They stare at one another, eyes locked in each other's gaze for an indefinite amount of time; the awkwardness soon giving way to warmth. The warmth of the evening soon giving way to love.

 

 


	2. "A River of Time"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Apologies, everyone this particular chapter is a SUPER short one. I promise however the next couple will be longer!]
> 
> Also, this acts as a kind of flavor text more or less...but it is relevant, I assure you.

* * *

 

In 1995, a baby cries, having just been born.

\-----

_In the 3rd century, there is a story which tells of a man whom had carried a child across a river; a child unbeknownst to him, who was later revealed to be a savior._

\------

In 2000, there is an accident, two people die, one survives. That same baby cries again.

\------

_In the 9th century, a king plants a tree that he will not live to see grow; a band of brave warriors defend the land, tending to the dead man's tree so that it may take root and become a forest._

\------

In 2019, a woman pounds angrily at a punching bag before heading off to work for the last time.

\------

Our story begins and ends at the Halloween disco where a knight met his lady; it begins and ends with a crying child; it begins and ends with a dead king's dream; it begins and ends with this angry powerful woman; and it begins and ends with this would be savior.

 


	3. "Welcome to Medieval Land!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Disclaimer some minor drug references and usage up ahead within this chapter...just an FYI.]

* * *

 

Gym- Los Angeles, California- 2019.

 

I am a person that enjoys routines, and I try to keep to them as frequently as I am able. I like the comfort and safety that control brings. Some would say that I'm a bit of a control freak (but, honestly you find me one person who doesn't enjoy some level of control in their lives- stability brings comfort and well...chaos is chaotic, and its unpredictable, and the unpredictable is scary...and sure it may be fun for a little while...but the fun has to eventually end sometime.) There's no comfort in chaos for me; now control, stability there's comfort in that. Unfortunately, comfort is usually quite boring. My life is comfortable; and while it certainly isn't boring in any traditional sense of the word...it is however unfulfilling to say the least.

Every morning I try and get up at literally the ass crack of dawn to train. Training my body and keeping in shape serves a double purpose- 1. Great way to keep in control (remember that control thing I mentioned?) 2. Keeping in shape and looking good in LA as an aspiring actress is kind of essential to trying to get (or keep) any kind of job here. Also, it's important to note that training serves an unmentioned third purpose- releasing the built-up anger and frustration one gets at not landing a role or keeping a job in LA as an aspiring actress. Basically, I was a living, breathing, fucking cliché. Four years of attending a performing arts high school and four years of studying drama and music in college accounted for nothing but debt and broken dreams. So, suffice to say I was pretty angry and pretty damn frustrated most of the time. Now, anger isn't new for me; I had been angry and frustrated for most of my life being that I was an orphan and all (another cliché by the way- the hero being an orphan); but I had found lately that my life had become just downright depressing, and that I was beginning to transcend anger into a helpless kind of resignation for my lot in life. (Sure, I was still pissy and all _Woe is me!_ most of the time, but I also found that I had begun to lose all initiative or drive- adulting was kicking my ass, I wasn't conquering the world like all those graduation speeches said I'd do; the world was conquering me and kicking my ass tenfold in the process.) I had graduated college a few years ago and had been full of such zeal and promise; I was a shiny newborn lamb ready for the world. But what they don't tell you is that the world takes those lambs and leads them to slaughter. I was an LA cliché, a millennial cliché, and I was a protagonist/hero of the story cliché.

My basement dwelling young adult existence consisted of me still living with my uncle (who raised me pretty much my whole life after my parents had died) and working part time at his gym in LA (he runs a gym below where we live and trains people in self-defense, mixed martial arts, and boxing). I help him out at the gym occasionally (a kind of family business thing), and when I'm lucky every once in a blue moon a performance gig comes my way- lately it's only been the occasional stunt work (thank god for that training am I right?), singing at weddings and bat mitzvahs, and the occasional extra work here and there in shit indie films or student thesis projects.

I work multiple jobs though- jobs complete with shitty hours, shitty pay, and shittier bosses. I maintain my control though (I haven't snapped and killed anyone yet...), balancing a busy schedule of anger, depression, and lackluster life prospects with the routines I so carefully put into place. Routines like...fucking up the punching bag every morning before I head off to my main gig- the shittiest job, with the shittiest pay, and an even shittier boss.

That's me by the way punching, kicking and hammering into the bag like it's an ex-boyfriend.

"Damn girl, I'm going to have to buy a new bag if you keep at it like that." My uncle says entering the room with a cup of coffee, clearly having just woke up.

"Sorry." I say, wiping sweat from my brow. "I hope I didn't wake you?"

"Nah, I'm used to your crazy ass getting up this early and making a damn ruckus. I don't even bother setting an alarm anymore." He responds chuckling.

Now, a few things about my uncle Dante that you should know- 1. He raised me and is the only family I pretty much have apart from a small group of work friends and the surrogate gym family I grew up with (and of course the distant relatives I only see like once or twice a year during major holidays- and trust me the cousins and aunties are never-ending up in this joint being that I'm from a predominantly Black/Latin family); but nevertheless uncle Dante is pretty much my main _fam_...he's my _ride or die_ ; oh, and 2. He may look like a big Terry Crews motherfucker but he's actually the biggest softie and nerd you'll ever meet (when he's not lifting weights or training he's usually throwing down on some Warcraft or DMing every Friday night for his D&D group of 10 odd years); and 3. He literally is the best thing in my life...literally...like I said my _ride or die_ (I'd say that I was a kind of daddy's girl but being that my dad's dead and he's my uncle I don't think the term is really applicable to this situation), basically he made me everything that I am today...well, everything minus the anger and general dissatisfaction with my total life trajectory- that was admittedly all me. What, I'm trying to say is that I love my uncle dearly...every last nerdy pushover muscley bit of him.

"I got something for you by the way. Hold on a sec." Dante says, putting his coffee mug down to grab a small cardboard box out of his back office. "I almost forgot about the thing. It's been sitting in storage for God knows how long."

I begin to take my boxing gloves off and start to go over to him and the box he's placed on the table.

"I hope this is okay by the way..." He says before pausing, a line of concern drawing across his brows. "I don't want to upset you."

"What is it?"

I start to go through the contents of the box with him and pull out various stacks of papers, an old teddy bear, and some old photos of my parents and me as a kid.

"What the hell is this Dante?" I say, furrowing my brows.

"I thought you'd might want it...but I didn't know if I should give it to you. Damnit, I knew this was a bad idea. I'm sorry Elena. I just thought you'd like to know them."

"I'm sorry. I-I mean...I do. I do want to know...but-"

"It's too much isn't it?"

"No...it's fine Dante. It is. It-it just surprised me is all. Where did you even find all this stuff?"

"Well, apparently there was some stuff in storage that got buried after your parents- after they...well..."

"After, the accident."

"Yea...I just thought maybe you'd like to see some of it."

"No, thank you Dante- really. I appreciate it. It's not quite what I was expecting today but...thank you."

Dante smiles meekly at me, and I return his smile albeit more awkwardly. He picks up some photos and starts flipping through them, while I start to go through some of the various papers in the box.

"You were such a cute kid...I don't know what the hell happened but-" He chuckles, flipping through more photos. "Damn, I almost forgot what a beauty your mom was...you look a lot like her you know- different but kinda the same..."

"That's what they tell me." I say, my attention turned to the stacks of papers scattered about.

"I didn't care too much for your dad at first. Found him kind of weird you know...? And- oh my God I remember when she first brought him 'round the house your abuela damn near had a heart attack when that white boy walked through the door." He laughs reminiscing.

"Uh-huh..." I continue to shuffle through the papers. I know that Dante was just remembering his sister and trying to lighten the mood by making conversation with me about her and my father. But honestly, I really didn't want to hear it. The whole thing was making me rather uncomfortable.

"And the first time the boy went to a family BBQ- shit, comedy gold..."

"Mmhmm..." I respond only half listening by this point. As I'm flipping through the various miscellaneous documents, wedged between the papers- a glistening shiny bit of silver that appears to be a chain of some sort catches my attention; I tug at the chain revealing at the end of it a dusty medallion.

"What is this?" I ask Dante.

He takes it from me, blowing the dust off and rubbing it clean with his fingers.

"It's a St. Christopher's Medallion."

"Was it moms?"

"Nah, your mom was religious and all but that wasn't her patron saint. That's your dad's."

He hands the medallion back to me and I look down at it transfixed. Now, I was not religious at all (I was pretty much the bad kind of catholic that only went to Christmas eve mass), but for some reason I was drawn to this medallion, and I couldn't figure out why exactly. Maybe, it was because it was a link to the past- my past, and to a father I'd never know...or hell maybe I just thought it was pretty? I wasn't sure really. But I felt like it was calling to me? As strange as that may sound...yes, I felt like an inanimate object was calling to me; and before I could think about it, I had found myself almost mechanically and instinctively putting it on.

"Looks good." Dante says looking at the medallion that now lay around my neck.

"Maybe, it'll protect me on my journey to work today." I say chuckling. (God, I hated my job so I could use all the divine intervention I could get at this point.)

Dante's brows furrow. "I don't get why you don't just quit."

"And do what wait tables? Nah, I'm good."

I pick up a kendo stick and throw it to him.

"C'mon, old man catch!"

He catches it mid-air.

"Why don't you just work at the gym and help me full-time?"

We begin to spar.

"I already work at the gym and help you out."

"Yea, but this time I'll pay you."

"You can hardly afford to keep this place running, there's no way you could afford to pay me. Plus, I like it here and don't want to turn it into an actual job where I'll end up hating it here and hating you."

"Uh-huh...sure. Excuses."

I repeat what he says mockingly, pulling a face. "You gonna spar old man or you gonna talk?"

"You are still such a damn child you know that?"

I stick my tongue out at him while we go back and forth with one another.

"Don't you gotta be getting ready for work here soon?"

"Ugghhh...don't make me go!" I say, whacking his stick with my own- then gesturing in an over the top and dramatically childish way.

"The lady doth protest too much."

"Har har, really funny...but you're right I need to go shower and get ready for a week-long shit show..." I kiss the medallion around my neck, look upwards and do the sign of the cross. "Give me strength."

"Girl, you're gonna get striked down." Dante replies chuckling.

"Me? A pious and Godly woman? Nay..."

Dante rolls his eyes and I smile a shit eating grin. I put my stick back with the other sparring equipment and turn heel to head up the stairs- Dante stops me mid stride and looks up at me warmly before beginning to speak.

"Hey, happy birthday baby girl."

"Thanks, Dante."

I bolt up the stairs.

"Have a good day at work!" He yells up to me mockingly. "I'll see you tonight."

 

* * *

 

Staff Lounge- Los Angeles, California- 2019.

 

Yawning loudly, I fiddle with the medallion around my neck while I wait for my breakfast burrito to finish in the microwave.

A weaselly little man wearing a fake crown pokes his head into the doorway.

"Hey, Wren. Meeting in the conference room- 2 mins."

"Goddamn it, I'm just trying to heat up my breakfast burrito here..."

"Time waits for no man. You got two minutes." He disappears back behind the door. "Oh, and Wren no eating during the meeting...it's just rude. Thanks."

I roll my eyes and turn back to the microwave- 2 minutes left.

"Fuck him..."

\----

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Please rise lords and ladies for his majesty King Bruce and our annual Monday gathering of court!" announces Daryl who is our mock royal herald (or as he is otherwise better known as- the work kiss ass or the boss...ahem, our _Kings_ \- bitch).

Several seated workers roll their eyes.

"Thank you, Daryl." Bruce replies taking his spot at the podium.

I enter the room, most people (those who actually bothered to show up to this thing) are already seated so I have little choice but to take a spot at the front of the room.

"So, nice of you to join us Wren. I'm glad you could fit the important matters of court into your tight schedule."

I was literally like 30 seconds late.

I roll my eyes and take a bite of my burrito in defiance, glaring up at him.

"Hnng..." He shifts uncomfortably.

(HA! Take that you weird little douchey man.)

He sighs heavily, looking towards me. "Distractions aside...our first order of business to address is that someone double booked Highlander weekend with Viking weekend on both our social media pages and our website. Now, I'm aware that this may have been an accidental typo on the part of our new intern Simon here...but because of this callous and careless mistake we now have both Highland clans and Viking hordes that are expected to show up along our shores. So, prepare people things are bound to get a little rowdy up in here. Also, thank you Simon for your colossal fuck up...I'd fire you but seeing as I don't pay you, I really don't see the point. Round of applause for Simon!"

Only a few people actually clap and its mostly a half-hearted applause, but it still manages to cause the intern Simon to sink down into his chair.

"I'm just glad it's not Pirate weekend...we have a horrible amount of shoplifting when those groups come in." A shopkeep pipes in.

"Oh, I don't know I'm excited for this weekend. I just love a man in a kilt." Speaks one of the designated tavern wenches. (Now, I have no issue with actual tavern wenches- you gotta do what you gotta do...but fuck me if we didn't hire the most slutty and daft fucking women for that position in the world.)

One of the other female employees rolls her eyes, "You love anything and everything you _thot_."

The wench shrugs, seemingly unbothered by the slight.

"Ladies, please...if I may?" Bruce gestures for them to shut up. "Alright, now second order of business...so, it's late nights week this week so the park is going to be running after hours. Now, I know how a lot of you wanted overtime- so I'm going to need some of you all to work doubles tonight."

A loud groan rings out from multiple employees.

"Look this is a team effort it takes a village and it's people to run a kingdom and your King needs his loyal subjects. Now, I've scheduled most of you down for the overtime apart from our independent vendors- our merchant caste runs outside royal jurisdiction...as Elaine has so kindly reminded me."

Elaine smiles smugly.

"So, only half our shops are going to be open- so those of you who usually help out with merch will be delegated to helping out with entertainment, concessions, and gate duty...is this going to be a problem for anyone?"

Someone raises their hand, but Bruce ignores them. "Okay, great! Moving on! Costumes people! Show starts and gates open in 10 minutes!"

 

* * *

 

Medieval Land Forge- Los Angeles, California- 2019.

 

I was in my own little world working the forge with our resident blacksmith Harold; who was currently away to use the royal privy; when my manager/boss (aka King Bruce Boyle) sauntered over to me.

"What do you want Bruce...don't you see I currently have a weapon in my hand."

(One admittedly cool thing about this job was that it actually did have a real-life forge...and I actually did learn quite a bit about smithing by working in this particular area of the park. The forge was an expensive area to keep...and God knows Boyle was a cheap son of a bitch; but it was the one area of the park aside from the tavern and games that actually saw a return on its investment. And truth be told, most of the time my day consisted of just dicking around, working commissions, or teaching field trip groups about the art of blacksmithing. All in all, it was a pretty sweet gig because mostly Boyle didn't come around here and fucking bother me.)

"Hey, Wren...so I need you to do me a solid." He stares at me apprehensively, while I turn to him holding the sword that I had just finished.

"No." I say turning away.

"Ha, funny." He continues, "Okay, so I need you to fill in for one of the ladies in waiting. Carol called off due to food poisoning and we're one lady short for Princess Tabitha today."

I cackle at him, "Oh, hell fucking no."

(Our Princess- Tabitha was a straight up bitch and I refused to work a whole double with her.)

"Fine, if that's how it's going to be, I'll get one of the tavern wenches to fill in." Bruce replies rather indignantly, "We'll be down wenches and that's on you man. All on you!"

I shrug, "Fine, get one of those sluts to fill in I don't fucking care. Either way, I'm not fucking working with that cunt Tabitha."

Boyle starts to get huffy, "That's treasonous talk Wren she's royalty-"

"Fake royalty-" I comment.

"Your betters- and upper management!"

I roll my eyes, "Oh, fuck off Bruce."

"That's King Bruce to you- and you know what Wren, you just earned yourself stable duty for that attitude! Welcome to the peasant class bitch! Hope you like cleaning up horseshit after the joust!"

Bruce attempts some kind of mock gangster hand gesture shit like he's all bad and I start laughing at how pathetic and ridiculous it all looks.

At that moment, Oba- one of the dudes who work with me here at the park (and a close personal friend of mine) comes up to us while smoking a joint.

"Yo, look at Boyle trying to act all bad and gangsta and shit." He cackles wildly and takes a drag.

"Santos, you know you can't be smoking that here!"

"It's fucking medicinal motherfucker. Doctor says I need this shit cause of all the anxiety and bullshit this place is giving me."

"Not in front of customers" Boyle replies again getting all huffy.

Oba stares at him like he's some inconvenient turd that somehow managed to find its way onto the bottom of his shoe. He then shoots a menacing gesture at Boyle.

"Yea, I'll do another fucking thing in front of customers too if you don't back the fuck up Boyle."

A look of panic shoots across Boyle's face as he retreats, yelling and stuttering back to us. "Tha-that's a write up Santos!"

"Take that write up and put it in the royal privy's Boyle. I ain't got time for your shit." Oba shouts back.

"I love how completely terrified of you he is." I laugh.

"That's cause he thinks I'mma roll by with my homies and shoot up him and his Granny's house- fucking racist..." Oba shakes his head. "Nah, truth is though...my cousin is a union rep. So, I ain't scared of his punk ass- not with how many damn violations he got going on in this motherfucking place...but never mind with all that...what's up with his Majesty's ass today anyhow? He was acting a little bitch way before I got over here and started fucking with him."

"Oh, you know the usual...inflated sense of self, and classic narcissism with a dash of Napoleon complex, and with a touch and sprinkle of general douche-baggery."

"You gotta stop fucking with him Elena. As fun as it is to mess with the little dude, he's gonna put your ass in the stockades."

"Ha! He just gave me stable duty post joust so..."

"Ouch...you lucky he didn't fire your ass."

"Ha, he can't afford to fire my ass. I'm the only one crossed trained in multiple areas of the park and the only one who can run the forge when Harold's IBS acts up- which is pretty much all the fucking time."

"Yeah, I keep telling the dude to cut the fuck back on the spicy food. Me and Will carpool with that cat...longest fucking hour and half drive of my life."

"Anyways, he wanted me to work with Tabitha today- some lady in waiting called off."

"Bitchhhhh...you could've ascended to the upper classes bro." He says jokingly.

I smirk at him and reply. "And miss all the fun with you lot? Nah, I'll pass. Also, lemme, get a hit off that real quick by the way..."

Oba puffs the joint one last time before passing it over. "Oh, shit reminds me- happy birthday by the way." He passes me a brown paper bag, and upon opening it I find a sizable amount of weed and rolling papers.

My eyes widen at the sight. "Jesus, Oba what the fuck is this like a weed care package or something? How much this set you back?"

He laughs. "I like to think of it as a _'ganja_ gift bag thank you very much. And don't worry about it I got another cousin who works at a dispensary so it's all good. This is from all of us by the way- me, Will, and the rest of the guys...so don't get greedy thinking you gettin' presents from all of us now."

I laugh, hugging him tightly. "Thanks man, I owe you guys dinner at my place for like ever, plus gym memberships or something."

Oba looks down smacking his potbelly and laughs. "The old lady is saying how I'm getting fatter so I might take you up on that offer. Oh, and shit I almost forgot..."

Oba pulls out a black gemstone necklace on a silver chain and hands it over to me.

"This is from Priscilla by the way; she wanted me to give it to you since she said she might not be able to see you today since you're working a double."

"Oh..." I say, admiring the gemstone.

"She said it was like moldavite or something- which I guess is like some kind of meteor or some shit...said it was one of the most powerful crystals or whatever, and that it would bring you luck."

"Wow, I mean you know I don't really buy into the whole gemstones and crystals holistic stuff...but, it's beautiful so thank her for me when you see her by the way."

"Will do. I'm working over there today anyways- they got me on chapel duty."

I start cracking up. "What the hell do they have a heathen like you doing in the chapel today?"

"Ahem, you good lady are looking at father Oba."

"Oh my God..."

He laughs with me. "I was just as shocked as you, but I think Boyle wanted to separate me and Will for the day... _apparently_ we're a bad influence on one another."

"Oh, is that so?" I reply smirking.

"Yeah, so they got Will running games and my ass administering blessings. Anyways, I gotta go now...as much as I love shooting the shit with you Elena, I got souls to save."

"Well, go in peace father." I do the sign of the cross at him and laugh.

"Ha! Bless you my child." He smirks and nods towards me before walking away in the direction of the chapel and throwing his costume- a wool and linen monks robe, haphazardly over himself.

 

* * *

 

Medieval Land Stables- Los Angeles, California- 2019.

 

(The joust has ended, and I am now stuck on my birthday slinging around horseshit. My life is complete, I can die happy now I suppose.)

I was musing this internally to myself while I stabbed at the hay and cleaned up the stables. Right now, I was completely alone- save the horses. The horses were at least good company as opposed to my earlier _companion_ \- which consisted of a 16 year old pimple-faced boy that was supposed to be ' _helping'_ me (I say helping but what I really mean is that he was annoying the shit out of me and repeatedly hitting on me the entire time, at least until he finally got picked up by his mom). I was enjoying the sweet silence of the stables, but admittedly not so much the smell (luckily, I had my _'gift'_ that the guys had given me tucked firmly into one of the pockets of my leather and linen armored ensemble. This gift; which I had admittedly already partaken in during my duties; proved to be an absolute lifesaver. I was not going to make it through my 24th birthday or work tonight without some kind of herbal helper...that much was damn sure).

"Knock, knock birthday girl."

I whip around towards the door of the stables and see my friend Mark (our resident bard and notorious flirt); standing there.

"They got you on shit duty huh?"

"Yeeeppp..." I say shoveling more shit.

"Rough, I had composed you a complete birthday ballad tonight and had intended to serenade you with it...but I don't know if my fair lady of shit shall be able to grace me with her lovely presence this eve."

"Afraid not my gloriously handsome friend...for the lady is trapped in a perilous predicament- she is being kept hostage by a tyrant king. Care to rescue a damsel in distress?" I say holding another pitchfork up to him.

"Ahhh...a pity dear lady for I am not a knight but a humble bard...so rescuing damsels is not my forte I'm afraid."

"You just don't want to shovel shit."

"That too."

I laugh, throwing a pile of shit towards him and he leaps up, dancing around to avoid it.

"Uncalled for!"

"Sorry, bro." I say, smiling smugly.

"And after I came and mucked my way down here to wish you a happy birthday...for shame Lady Elena Wren! For shame!"

I roll my eyes and he laughs a bit before turning serious all of a sudden.

"You know though...it's a pity really the work they have you doing. I wish you were scheduled more as entertainment...then we could at least work together in the tavern."

"Yea, I guess..." (Mark really had a thing for me and had been not so secretly pining for years...) "But you know no one else can really handle the forge when Harold's out of commission and also this..." I gesture around me to the horses and the shit. "This is punishment for backtalking Bruce today...so I doubt I'll be scheduled for bard duty anytime soon."

"Which blows because I had been working on a duet for us..."

"Oh? An actual duet or is that something you tell all the girls?" I smirk at him and cheekily wink.

"Ha, no...actually I really do want to work with you. Your talents Elena are better suited to song than to blade...or to- erm...well shit."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Seriously though, it's a damn shame really you're quite talented. Too talented for a place like this."

"You are too Mark. You're a great musician."

"Yea, I am but what I have in talent...and of course dashing good looks and murderous charm. I lack in ambition and drive...I'm quite a lazy piece of shit Elena." He laughs. "Plus, just look at me...I look fucking great in period costumes. Just look at how form fitting this is?! Why would I ever give this up?"

Mark turns to have me admire his leather clad ass, and I roll my eyes once more.

"Well, anyways...I'll let that be the last thing you see this evening birthday girl...I'm off for the night. I just wanted to swing by and wish you a happy birthday."

"Thanks Mark."

"Ciao, Bella." He winks and waves me goodbye.

I liked Mark, he was sweet, warm, and funny. He wasn't particularly amazing looking, but he had a kind of unconventional level of attractiveness that drew people in. I loved the dude. I'd never fuck him (much to his dismay), but I loved him.

I sigh heavily to myself in relief, as I see that I'm finally getting close to finishing up my work in the stables. Unfortunately, I knew that either way I was still going to be late tonight, and that poor Dante was probably at home waiting for me with a cake that he worked all day on baking. This made me feel worse about the whole situation and basically strengthened my resolve to either poison Bruce or key his car on my way out.

"You guys know that Bruce sucks ass, right?" I turn speaking to the horses.

The wind begins to whistle outside, and the sudden noise begins to spook them.

"Shuushh, it's okay boy- settle down. It's just the wind." I say trying to soothe one of the horses from within his stall.

The air at that exact moment started to feel dry, thick and heavy all around me; suddenly, the sky lit up with lightning followed by the powerful roar and rumbling of thunder. My chest began to feel warm and it felt like it was burning...like it was on fire (at first, I thought it was some kind of allergic reaction to the metal or gemstone of the necklace that Priscilla had given me, but I soon realized that it was coming from the St. Christopher medallion itself). Following the burning sensation on my chest and neck- there was a sudden humming and buzzing noise which sounded all around me; so unbearable was the sound that I began to cover my ears. The horses didn't seem to enjoy it either and were freaking out in their stalls, the one next to me thrashed and bucked wildly...and next thing I knew there was nothing but pain and blackness.

 

 


	4. "We're not in Kansas anymore..."

* * *

 

"Fuuuccckkk..."

My fucking head was killing me. I clutched at it, the pain shot out in rapid bursts before prolonging itself into one long operatic symphony of fuck-my-life-I-want-to-die levels of agony. The pain and agony of which then radiated through my skull into my teeth and down the entire length of my body. I'd say that I felt like I'd been kicked in the head by a horse...but as you very well know, that's actually what did indeed happen to me.

I'm not entirely sure how long I had been out for but when I awoke, I found myself laying in a grassy field, sun shining brightly above me. I tried to sit up in a one fluid movement, but my body truth be told was not having it and I ended up falling backwards back onto the ground. Groaning, I laid there for a while staring up into the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds above me before I had decided to make another attempt at moving again.

"Uggghhhh...I hate life." I said, gathering what little strength I possessed and waiting for the pain to subside enough to allow me to climb to my feet. Once I was on my feet, I found myself dizzy and wobbling, the green field spinning all around me. I steadied myself, clutching my head; and upon feeling the back of it I realized that I had been bleeding quite heavily.

For the first time I looked around me, taking in fully all of my surroundings. There was nothing in sight but lush rolling fields and trees. (I was literally in the middle of fucking nowhere- and for an urban city gal like me this was not- and I repeat NOT OKAY!)

"Where the fuck am I?!" I said taking my hand from my head and looking down at the blood on my fingertips.

"FUCK!"

I had somehow not fully come to the realization that my head was cracked open and I was pooling out shit tons of blood left and right until I actually saw the red painting my hands; and well suffice to say I was both pissed off and freaked out.

Now, I'm not sure if it was the obvious concussion I must have been suffering- but several thoughts crossed my mind at the particular situation I found myself in- 1. That someone was taking the piss and drove me out here as a kind of joke. (Maybe, perhaps not realizing I had a fucking head injury or perhaps not even considering the severity of it.) 2. Bruce found me in the stables freaked the fuck out and for once in his slimy pathetic existence decidedly grew a pair and drove me out here in the middle of nowhere in order to leave me for dead. All probably in some attempt to protect his stupid not even historically accurate park. (The more I thought about this one; and the possible motives behind it; the more convincing it started to sound, until I realized not only the logistical finesse required to pull off such a feat, but also I realized once again what a fucking idiot and goddamn coward Bruce was...so this one was probably highly unlikely.) So, that leaves the following: 3. I'm dead and this must be hell or heaven or the final firing synapses of my dying brain. Or 4. This is all a dream/nightmare and I'll probably wake up soon and go back to my mediocre subpar life of disappointment and failure.

Well, either way _I was not in Kansas anymore_ that was for sure...

\----

I decided to walk around a bit to try and figure out where the hell I was, and also to better orient myself. I moved slowly at a snail's pace, since I literally did not want to end up passing out again and dying (just in case I wasn't actually dead already and just in case this actually wasn't a dream). I wandered the fields and meadows aimlessly hoping that I would happen upon a house, or town, or highway, or...well anything really. Well, closest thing I got was an old dirt road (if you could even really call it a road), so I figured that if I followed it I'd eventually happen upon civilization (I only hoped and prayed it would be soon because with every passing hour I lost more and more blood, and felt more and more lightheaded).

\----

"Wha-what the actual fuck...?"

I eventually stumbled into what I suppose you'd call a village or some kind of small settlement just as the sun began setting in the sky...except it didn't look like any type of settlement or village I'd ever seen. It looked old, rustic, and out of place. My mind immediately rushed, reeling through hundreds of possible explanations- the Amish, a weird rural Californian cult, an extension of the park that somehow Bruce had managed to keep hidden...at that last one my mind went off the fucking rails of rationality; and I found my way immediately back to possible explanation number 2 from earlier albeit only with more obvious added embellishment.

(OH MY GOD...what if that weird little man had built some kind of live-action medieval sex dungeon type menagerie?! What if I had been kidnapped by that weird little man in order to play out his sick little fantasies- like some kind of full-sized diorama with barbie dolls?!- Yes, Bruce was definitely the type to have built models and play with dolls...that much I was certain of. Plus, I mean you always hear about how creepy middle-aged white dudes kidnap girls and keep sex dungeons and stuff; and Bruce...that motherfucker fit the demographic of creepy white dude who's into weird sex stuff and probably had weird dodgy hobbies that no one knows about to a goddamn tee. Holy shit, did he finally snap?! Did I piss him off that much this morning?)

"FUCK!" I yelled out again.

I was frustrated, irrational, suffering from tons of blood loss, and at this point half of me was fairly convinced that I may have been kidnapped and that there was a whole _Monster of Mangatiti/Saw_ thing going on here. ("Calm the fuck down girl." I internally told myself. My inner guiding subconscious reminding me once again that- "Girl, you know Bruce is too goddamn fucking stupid to do something like this. Chill the fuck out. Plus, he knows concussion or not you'd fuck his ass up." Inner me was right, I needed to chill and calm the fuck down. My first order of business needed to be finding someone- ANYONE to help me, and to get treatment for my injury ASAP.)

As I stumbled into the village, and finally happened upon some people; I realized that I was mumbling incoherently at this point and at them; as a direct result of this behavior, I was being met with tons of wide-eyed stares and mummers in response. No one really dared get all that close and they were for all intents and purposes seemingly frightened at the mere sight of me (which who honestly could blame them since I probably looked completely batshit crazy).

My eyes shot everywhere all around me- bouncing off of all the faces in the crowd, my heart began to race, my chest tightened, and my breathing became short and erratic. The world around me began to spin again, and the mummering faces surrounding me began to blur and merge together. My vision was spotty and beginning to darken, my steps slowing and at this point I pretty much was dragging my feet forward. Flashes of that night played in my mind's eye- The horses were unsettled. The air was dry and suffocating. Dry lightning illuminated the sky. The crack and roar of delayed thunder. Pain. Tightening. Vibrations. Burning. Then nothing but the black.

I vaguely remember shuffling forward and grabbing onto the shirt of a large man before eventually sliding downwards and falling to his feet.

"Call for a priest!" The large man yells.

I heard the man say words, but I was not fully comprehending what words exactly had been said before I once again lost consciousness; fading once more into blackness.

 

 


	5. "The Blacksmith & His Daughter"

* * *

 

When I awoke, I was greeted by a large pair of deep blue eyes staring down at me curiously. These eyes belonged to a little girl no older than probably 11, 12 or 13 years of age. She had a round and dimpled face painted with freckles and framed by long wavy blonde hair.

(She was basically like a goddamn cherub had a baby with a porcelain doll. And it creeped me the fuck out when I woke up to see her lurking above and watching me sleep- her presence startled me so much upon first opening my eyes that I even found myself jumping a little whilst laying in the bed.)

Wait a second- I was in a bed...? That realization hit me all of a sudden and I began to look around at my strange new surroundings. I shot up into sitting position and quickly touched the back of my skull- and where my wound had been there was now a thick kind of mud-like paste. I brought my hand to my face to smell whatever the concoction was that they had used on my head- it smelled horrible...not like shit horrible but it was an incredibly strong earthy and herbal scent.

"You're finally awake!" The little girl says excitedly in what sounded like a thick British accent.

(I think that's British anyways...I mean it's not exactly the kind of accent you'd hear on the BBC, but she was definitely speaking English...just not American English, that much I knew for sure.)

"You slept FOREVER by the way!"

(Okay, so I gather that my ass was out for quite some time then. Duly noted creepy doll child, duly noted.)

"Ummm...where am I exactly?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh, you were hurt and fell on papa, so he and the priest brought you back here. We all thought you were going to die. You looked absolutely terrible by the way!"

(Thanks kid. Great bedside manner you have.)

"And oh! You're in the village now and well...laying in my bed."

"The village...? Where exactly is that...?"

The little girl rolls her eyes at me and continues to talk a mile a minute. I stare at her just blinking in confusion. (What...the...actual...fuck...was going on? And where the fuck was I?)

"You're welcome by the way."

"For...?" I reply confused.

The little girl huffs, blowing a stray strand of hair from her face. "For?! For obviously saving your life silly! Papa and the Father think that it's mostly due to prayer, but I know it was mostly me...I mean Jesus had a little to do with it _I guess_...but I did most of the work!"

"Is...is this a dream?"

"Pffsh, no."

"Am I dead right now?"

"Umm...no."

"Are you sure I'm not dead or dreaming?"

I started pinching myself and slapping my face. The girl stared at me wide-eyed, both curious and seemingly bemused by my actions.

She laughs. "Umm...positive."

"Umm...well then I don't suppose that you or someone here in _the village_ has a phone or anything that I can use to call my uncle or my coworkers to come pick me up? I'd use mine but I left it in my locker at work."

Blinking, she stares at me with eyes the size of saucers. (Basically, looking at me like I'm an alien from the planet Mars.)

"Heavens, you're a right proper nutter aren't you..."

"Do you at least know how far outside the city am I? Am I like in wine country now or...?"

"Huh?" Her brows knit together in confusion.

"Oh God, don't tell me I was right about Bruce and that I'm in some kind of psychopathic human safari...did he kidnap you as well?!"

"Wh-what the bloody hell are you on about lady??"

"So...you don't know a small weaselly man named Bruce?"

"Umm...no."

"And, he didn't lure you here or like drug and kidnap you and everyone else then?"

"No...and quite frankly I'm not even sure what you are talking about."

(I had gone full bonkers, off the fucking rail with that last assumption and I think that I was probably coming off proper crazy to this poor child. Suffice to say I found myself not only confused but now thoroughly embarrassed.)

"Ummm...so okay then. Uhhh, just disregard all that..."

"You're really quite strange."

(Again, thanks kid. Really, nice of you to notice.)

"You look weird and you speak strangely too..."

(Okay, well now you're just being mean little creepy doll child...)

"Do...do you know how long exactly I've been out for?" I sigh heavily, hoping that there will at least be some answers to this line of inquiry.

"Goodness, at least for the past few moons."

"And that is...when exactly?"

"Friday, November 18th- The year of our lord 899." She says, almost proudly.

My eyes grow wide and I immediately start sweating ( _Uh-hu...what now?!..._ someone had to be taking the piss out of me right now. THEY HAD TO BE.)

I gulp loudly before speaking again, my voice cracking a tinge. "An-and...where exactly might this be...? Like, what country exactly?"

"Umm, you're on the border of East Anglia and Wessex."

(Fuuuuckkkk...this might not actually be a dream then. So, that must mean I'm dead right? RIGHT?? Cause time travel that can't honestly be a thing, right? RIGHT?!)

At this point I think I started laughing hysterically and hyperventilating; and my mind must have been racing a mile a minute trying to make sense of everything in order to somehow apply logic to the illogical and to the impossible. And as a direct result of this mental exertion my brain must have eventually short circuited and completely overloaded entirely, because soon after I ended up fainting.

( _Stop the world, I want to get off_...I want to get the fuck off right now!)

 

\--------------

 

I eventually awoke (again), disappointed that this whole ordeal wasn't some kind of dream or at the very least some kind of drug trip.

I was alone this time in the room- the child from earlier was gone, and a small part of me wondered if she had actually been there at all or if she was merely a hallucination resulting from my head injury. (MAYBE THIS WAS ALL A HALLUCINATION??) Unfortunately, upon further reflection and also one more look around at the aged and primitive interior which surrounded me, had convinced me otherwise. This was no hallucination...I had somehow fallen down the goddamn rabbit hole into the fucking tail end of the 9thcentury, and I had no fucking clue how I got here or how to get back.

It was probably around midday when I awoke but I wasn't entirely sure. I sat in bed for a while gathering my thoughts before I eventually heard the sound of a hammer hitting steel. Mustering all the courage I could, I slowly climbed out of bed and went to investigate.

Adjacent a ways from the small house that I was now exiting- sat a forge where there stood a large middle-aged man working. The man looks up as I slowly and cautiously approach- wiping sweat and soot from him brow.

"Ah, you're awake I see."

I avert my eyes to the ground, shifting uncomfortably on my feet. "Yes, I am. Umm, can you tell me what happened exactly and well who you are?" I say to the man rather awkwardly.

"Well, milady you stumbled into the village a right proper mess- injured, bleeding all over the place...and 'ya fell right at my feet. I thought for sure you'd have met your maker- even called the priest over to give 'ya your last rites...but, God is good it seems, and you are blessed- for here you are standing before me."

I pause for a while, ruminating on the man's words.

"I see...thank you sir. I appreciate you saving me."

The man waves me off and scoffs. "Think nothing of it, you ought to be thanking my daughter Juliette; she's the one who tended to you and your injuries while you slept. Girl has the healing touch I swear. Don't tell her I said that though- the girl suffers the sin of pride enough as it is. Don't need to be makin' her head any bigger now."

"Nevertheless...thank you- ?"

"Aldwin. The names Aldwin."

"Thank you Aldwin and thank Juliette." He smiles and nods.

"I should probably go ahead and leave...and go...well somewhere- I feel like I've taken advantage of your hospitality enough..."

"Nonsense. You're perfectly fine. Plus, we are good charitable Christians who help those in need."

I continue to shift uncomfortably where I stand, and a perceptive Aldwin seemingly senses my discomfort and uncertainty.

"Have you a place to go lass?" Aldwin asks me.

"Umm, well no actually...I-I'm not even sure how I managed to get here to be honest. I don't remember much as a matter of fact...just that I know I'm a far far way from home."

At that precise moment the little girl known as Juliette, walks into the forge carrying a basket of flowers and herbs in her hands. She drops them the moment she sees that I'm awake and up and moving.

She squeals excitedly, only having caught the last few tidbits of the conversation. "Perhaps, she got set upon by bandits or even Danes papa! Should we not help her?!"

Aldwin rolls his eyes at the over the top jubilance of his daughter. "Girlie, keep your fancies down lest your imagination run ahead of 'ya."

"It wasn't bandits or umm any of that...the last thing I remember was that the horse I was working with got spooked, and I suppose...that I fell victim to his nerves...and well then I woke up outside in the fields beyond your village..." I interjected, touching the back of my head where the earthen clay-like paste lay plastered.

I'm assuming that the man known as Aldwin must have filled in the blanks with his own understanding or assumptions surrounding the sequence of events that lead to my rather strange and sudden appearance, because he didn't ask very many questions after that...and honestly, I'm grateful because I had no idea how to explain all this shit to him.

"Unfortunate luck to be thrown from your steed and kicked in the head milady. Unfortunate indeed..."

(Whew, thank goodness he's just latching onto that explanation...yes, let's go with that one sir Aldwin and scratch the part where I fell out of the sky from 2019.)

"Any idea where you might've been heading?" He asks.

I shake my head and let out a nervous chuckle. "Definitely not...here- _No offense!_ It's just...it's just that...this was suffice to say...uhh, a most unexpected journey."

"Well, you're clearly not from these parts lass as your..." He points to me and gestures to my overall physique. "Your...appearance and accent are rather...foreign."

I laugh internally, trying not to let an actual chuckle escape. (He means I'm foreign in the sense that I am a biracial American time traveler from 2019. Man, I must be an oddity...)

"Had young Juliette not seen the sign of a saint and cross 'round your neck we'd of likely took you for a bloody heathen...though I'll admit you're certainly darker and swarthier than any of the Danes I've seen before."

"I'm not from around here...it's true...and I've traveled quite far from my homeland."

( _Quite far_ is a bit of an understatement...that's for damn sure.)

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like miss!" Juliette quickly chimes in.

"Juliette! It's not for you to be throwing around invitations- 'milady likely has a home and a family of her own like to return to." He scolds his daughter.

"It's alright... really. I appreciate the invitation...and to be truthful...I don't think I can return home. At least not anytime soon." I shuffle my feet, my eyes downcast. "So, I'd appreciate your hospitality for a bit longer if you'd be willing to grant it that is..."

Juliette beams. "Please papa! Please can she stay?!"

Aldwin groans in response to his daughters pleads.

"I'll uhh...make myself useful!" I say, pointing to forge. "I have some experience at smithing and can help out around the forge."

Aldwin cocks a brow at me, looking a tad bit surprised at my sudden declaration. Juliette bounces excitedly up and down- gleaming and looks to her father with large puppy dog eyes.

"Or...umm, even with any domestic work you'd need done. I'd make myself useful and earn my keep."

"Please papa! You do need the extra help."

"Aye...I suppose an extra set of hands 'round here couldn't hurt."

Juliette rushes to her father, hugging him tightly.

"Well lass do you got a name?"

"Elena. Elena Wren."

"Aye, well pleasure to meet you Elena of Wren."

 

 

 


	6. "Planted Roots & Salted Earth (Part 1)"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Trigger Warning this chapter has some scenes of violence and some physical abuse towards a minor...you've been warned.]

 

* * *

   

Several months and an entire winter had now passed, and I had found myself to be living quite happily with both Aldwin and his daughter Juliette.

Now, that's not to say that I just up and forgot about my past life (or erm- correction: future life, as it would be in this case...) but, that I knew now not to dwell so much on it; because, simply put- there was literally nothing I could do about it and no use wallowing in the pain that such lingering thoughts would undoubtedly bring. I learned very quickly that the best course of action for living life in the 9th/10th century was to live in the here and now. Focusing, on the present (my present as it was now), was the best balm I found to ail a homesick heart.

Sure, I missed home...and God knows how I missed my friends and family. I missed them all more than words could dare describe, and I worried about them and how my sudden disappearance may have affected them (especially my uncle Dante); and it broke my heart to think about it...so, I tried not to think about it. I avoided these thoughts like the plague and completely and utterly stuck my head in the sand as a way to try and move on with my life. I was hurt, I was stuck, and I was completely and utterly powerless. (It was a truly humbling moment for a control freak like me.)

So, accepting this and somewhat resigning myself to my fate, I tried to make the best of a bad situation (who knows how long I'd be stuck here for or if I'd even be able to go back...so, I decided the best course of action for myself and more importantly my mental health was to accept things as they were and to start planting roots). So, roots I planted.

I started to build a life here in this small borderland village with the blacksmith Aldwin and his daughter Juliette. By this time, I had essentially become a surrogate member of the family and also a member of the village community; and where there once was distrust and suspicion- on the part of the other villagers there was now a slow blossoming acceptance.

And, sure I still stuck out like a sore thumb due to a myriad of factors ranging from my _'swarthy'_ and _'exotic'_ appearance to my _'odd'_ manner of speech, not to mention my rather modern and bold (oftentimes) scandalous way of conducting myself.

(I was after all a woman of the 21st century and a self-declared feminist and none of that would be changing anytime soon I'll tell you that much. Fuck time travel and this centuries sense of decorum. I would be damned if I left all that I was behind in order to assimilate into an oppressed, weak and docile sex...nah, man Elena Wren don't play like that. And, plus I figured if I was stuck here, I might as well try and advance women's rights a bit no? If not for all the women of medieval England than at least for young Juliette- she ought to grow up strong, independent, and learning to not take any shit from anyone...especially from a man.) Needless to say, I was as a result of my own stubbornness and headstrong ways...a constant source of village gossip.

The gossip to be honest didn't really bother me- it wasn't as if I especially cared all that much about what they or anyone else had to say. Most of the time when I would hear whispers behind my back or the odd rumor or two about me here and there, I'd merely roll my eyes and just shrug it off. It really only bothered me when people would shit talk Aldwin or young Juliette; and trust me when I say I had gotten into my fair share of scraps with people over that particular kind of gossip...and I'll proudly admit...that sometimes violence does solve problems, because said shit talk usually ceased.

Oh, also you'll be all shocked and flabbergasted to find out that I had found Jesus our Lord and savior once again...well for the first time really...ermm, well _kind of_. (Again, I was not particularly religious before my tumble head first into the past...and I had more or less left any and all religious practices firmly behind in my childhood...)

But basically, had I not taken back to religion I figured I would likely be put in a very precarious position- a position I'd quite frankly like to avoid at all costs. (Again, women were not treated kindly or fairly back in the day and the church held a ridiculous amount of power...that much history had told me. So, I wasn't going to try my luck and play with too much fire while stuck here in this century.) Therefore, I figured it was probably a safer route to take up the mantle of Christ again if not to pray for some kind of salvation from my current predicament, then to at least to use my 'newfound' faith as a kind of shield in which to avoid my sinful ass burning at the stake.

This rouse apparently worked (Maybe I was a better actress than I had thought? Maybe accumulating all that student debt for my drama degree had been worth it after all?); and I had soon earned myself a reputation for being both a woman of faith and community, yet also as a woman of loose morality- although it seemed that I was _just pious enough_...since a lot of my immoral ways were seemingly overlooked by most if not the whole of the village with time.

I found myself however at a bit of a crossroads, ever straddling that firm line dividing the worlds of women and men. I worked the forge (quite well in fact) and that was not in the least bit considered a proper or lady like profession for a woman of this time. I would also wake every morning before working the forge to train and exercise (I really couldn't afford being unfit in a world where women were basically in a state of constant uncertainty and danger. Also, I found comfort in sticking to my routines from my life before...it brought me a kind of closeness to the life I had once lived. Plus, to be honest I was so fucking bored! This world lacked the luxuries I had grown accustomed to, and fucking hell did I miss my Netflix and my gaming...).

Again, I don't know if it was the boredom or the desire for self-preservation that drove me, but I often found myself training outside the village in the fields and forest that lay beyond. Often, I would use my training exercises as a kind of excuse to test out the weapons I or Aldwin had made. I'm amused to say the sight of me weapon in hand fucking up a tree had earned me a terrifying reputation among the village men- thankfully, putting a distance between me and any would be admirers or suitors. Although, this became much less of an issue in time since much of the village had thought me and Aldwin were a thing (which literally the shear notion of had often left me cackling like a madwoman, since it was the furthest thing from the truth), Aldwin still carried love in his heart for his dead wife- Juliette's mother...and plus he reminded me way too much of my uncle to ever entertain the thought of anything romantic ever transpiring between us two.

I was deep in thought testing out a quarterstaff I had finished crafting the other day, when Juliette snuck up behind me (I say snuck up but honestly I knew she was there...for how small and graceful she may have outwardly appeared to be, she surprisingly was quite heavy footed...she literally clunked about like a stampede of elephants; so, she definitely was no ninja I'll tell you that much). She climbed up onto the edge of a wooden fence that someone had attempted to put in the field that lay outside the village but never actually got around to finishing.

"What do you want Juliette?" I say spinning the staff around, testing its balance.

The little girl huffs, sitting on the edge of the fence. "ELEEENNAAA!!! YOU PROMISED!!!"

"Ughhh..."

"ELEEENNNAA!!!"

"Fucking hell...you aren't ever going to leave me alone about this are you?" I respond continuing to swing the staff around- practicing some moves in the air before whacking it against a tree.

"I will torment you Elena until your end of days..." The little girl replied dead serious- an evil grin painted upon her face.

I shook my head at her and sighed. "I promised your father the extent of combat training I'd give you was self-defense." (Even this I had to really strong arm Aldwin into- arguing the benefits for and constantly pleading on her behalf...between me and Juliette constantly pestering him it was no wonder he finally relented...although he did have stipulations. So, suffice to say I really didn't want to push my luck...even if I thought it was ridiculously stupid to only teach Juliette the bear minimum.)

"It's not fair! I want to be like you though! You're a warrior!" Juliette says, pouting.

"I am not a warrior...I just have varied skillsets." I laugh.

"I want to have varied skillsets!"

"Your father wants you to be married one day- and even though I think it's personally stupid...it's important to him to see you wed and not treated as some kind of leper by all the village men and quite frankly I have no right to question him on matters concerning you." I sigh.

Juliette huffs. "I don't wish to marry! All the boys here ARE STUPID! And the men are old and creepy! I don't wanna marry any of them! As for rights Elena you're family just as much as papa is!"

I eye the young girl and sigh before putting down the staff. "Fine. We'll practice some hand to hand now. But, don't you dare tell your father! He'll make my life hell."

Juliette hops off the fence gleaming triumphantly and smiling from ear to ear.

 

* * *

 

It was drawing on evening by the time we both returned to the village and we quickly went to making supper upon entering the house- a look of suspicion was drawing tightly against Aldwin's face upon taking in Juliette's muddied knees and my downcast eyes and nonchalant whistling (I had knocked her on her ass several times during our training...girls gotta learn somehow after all). After dinner we cleaned up, and I prepared young Juliette for bed; Aldwin stayed up for a while tending to the fire in the hearth of our small and modest two roomed home.

I helped Juliette slip into her white shift and ready for bed scrubbing at her face with a wet cloth before lifting the covers and motioning for her to crawl in.

"Sing me a song Elena." She yawned, while I tucked her into what served as both her bed and my own. "You have such a lovely voice and I'm sure papa could do with a song as well..."

I climbed into the bed and wiggled next to her. "Okay, which one would you like to hear?"

"One from your homeland- one of the strange ones."

I wrack my brain for which one to sing; since I've sung a lot of shit for this child. (I've run the gambit from classic musical staples, to pop ballads and rock n'roll hits- to even shit my abuela used to sing to me in Spanish when I was a child...although, the Spanish ones were admittedly not Juliette's favorites since she would often complain that she couldn't understand the language and therefore couldn't enjoy the song fully.) In the end I decided on one of her classic favorite songs, and admittedly the easier of the ones to remember.

"Somewhere over the rainbow?"

Juliette nods excitedly, seemingly satisfied with the song selection I had made.

_"Somewhere over the rainbow...way up high. There's a land that I heard of...once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow...skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star...and wake up where the clouds are far...behind me- Where troubles melt like lemon drops...away above the chimney tops- That's where you'll find me. Somewhere over the rainbow...bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow- Why then, oh why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly- Beyond the rainbow...why, oh why can't I?"_

I sing the song until finally she falls fast asleep. Quietly, and carefully I slip out of the bed and tiptoe out of the room, careful not to wake the small girl up.

I carefully pull the curtain that acts as a door to our bedroom closed and go to join Aldwin by the hearth. He sits stoically, staring into the flames while he continues turning a log around with the poker.

"That's one of my favorites too lass good choice." He smiles at me yet doesn't take his eyes off the fire.

"Glad you liked it."

"Aye."

I get up from where I sat next to Aldwin and stretch, leaning against the wall next to the hearth. We enjoy the silence and the crackling of the fire for a moment before he finally speaks up.

"I ought to turn in soon myself."

I nod at him before speaking myself. "I might head over to the tavern for a quick pint before turning in myself if that's alright?"

"Aye, that's fine just take care to quiet yourself upon returning."

"Will do. I'll make sure not to wake you or Juliette when I come in." I reply, nodding.

"Oh, and Elena..."

"Yea?"

"Try not to make too much trouble will 'ya lass?"

I smirk at him and wink. "Of course. Who do you take me for?"

Aldwin rolls his eyes and lets out a chuckle before waving me off.

 

* * *

 

That night in the tavern was lively to say the least; there had just been a wedding in village- one of the farmers with the miller's daughter and so our usual revelry and merrymaking was knocked up several notches and we were all celebrating the happy couple's union. We had all enjoyed many a pints and tankards of ale and mead and suffice to say the men were beginning to make a fool of themselves.

(I had built up quite a tolerance while here...I mean I had always been a fucking champ when it came to drinking but since I had quit smoking weed...well quit in brackets...I had basically hid it away for a rainy day, thinking it best to ration it off in a kind of _'break for emergencies only'_ type of situation, and because I was on a several month long hiatus from my good gal pal Mary Jane- drinking had become my new vice of sorts. One tolerance that I did not build up however was my tolerance for bullshit...)

"Elwyr, touch my ass again and you won't have hands, have I made myself clear?"

The men bellow in laughter at the scene.

One man remarks between laughs, "He's gone and done it, now hasn't he?"

"Aye, this ought to be most entertaining." Another man replies.

Elwyr, the pock faced butcher wobbled and swayed in his seat, he tried to stand but abruptly fell back down onto his chair- nearly taking out the whole table with him.

The other men snort and cackle all around us, one of them piping up to say. "Elwyr, you're really tryin' 'ya luck tonight aren't 'ya mate? Dancing wit the devil 'ya likely to get burned."

He ignores his friends warning and continues. "C'mon Elena when will 'ya-" He burps. "Wh-when will 'ya let one of us men make a honest woman of 'ya?" He belches once again.

"I've never been honest and no man- especially you will rectify that, so take those disgusting paws and aim them elsewhere you fat fuck."

The tavern patron's laughter grows, and they begin to pound their tankards onto the table in a kind of celebratory rhythm.

"Y-you'll regret this...I-I'm a highly eligible bachelor..."

"I'm sure the ladies are lining up around the corner for a night with you..." I say, rolling my eyes.

Elwyr mumbles something under his breath before he yells, "WENCH!", and slams his tankard down onto the table. "More ale! To soo-soothe my broken heart..." He says slurring and spitting a bit up on himself.

The barmaids and tavern wenches look to one another- neither really wanting to serve the man. I mouth an inaudible sorry towards them and try to smile earnestly.

"You owe me Elena..." one of the women passing by me whispers.

"Better you than me." I reply smirking.

The barmaid shoots daggers at me with her eyes before sighing heavily and refilling Elwyr's tankard. He smacks her ass as a kind of thanks, and she glares.

"What the fuck did I tell you Elwyr about keeping your fat fucking paws to yourself?!" I snap.

He burps again, turning to me confused. "Wh-whaat?? I didn't touch you this time."

"Aye, Elena regal us and the happy couple with a tune or a tale will 'ya?" One of the men from earlier asked.

(It's important to note at this point that I had built up quite a reputation in town as the tavern bard of sorts...what? I turn into a kind of natural performer and storyteller once I've had a few too many in me...I'm just glad that karaoke hasn't been invented yet...although I came damn near close to inventing it several centuries early probably with one night's rendition of several- _and God do I mean SEVERAL_... _Journey_ songs...)

"As much as I'd love to..."

Several groans ring out in the tavern.

"Don't be a wet fuckin' blanket girlie and give us a song!"

"Aye, sing us a tune!"

They all pound their tankards on the table cheering and laughing wholeheartedly.

"Fine. Shut the fuck up and quit your belly aching you drunk bastards."

I open my mouth and start to sing a cheery and happy little tune; when all of a sudden, I'm interrupted by a man bursting through the tavern doors- the man who flung the doors wide open stood there eyes frantic, half out of breath and covered in sweat.

He began screaming, "DAAANNNNEEESSS!", before immediately being run through with a sword and cut down before everyone's eyes.

The tavern stares at the man with the sword sticking out of his chest in complete and utter shock- a thick and deadly silence momentarily sweeping across the room before descending into complete pandemonium. The Dane who ran the man through, kicks him free from his broadsword and smiles a wicked grin before entering the establishment with several others. By that time the tavern had already exploded into complete chaos; several people falling from their chairs and scrambling up to their feet as fast as they could. People were running about in all directions trying desperately to escape through any and all exits within the tavern, while countless numbers of Danes poured into the room.

Where there was once laughter, song, and celebration, there was now screaming and fleeing in all directions. People were being cut down left and right. The barmaids and female patrons were being grabbed and molested by the brutish and thuggish men; several of them were being thrown over the shoulders of the Danes kicking and screaming, while the villains merely cackled boisterously to one another.

"Juliette. Aldwin." I whisper to myself- panicked and surveying the chaos all around me.

I frantically scan up and down the room, overwhelmed by the complete anarchy that had erupted from what had been but merely a few seconds ago a site of happiness and joy. My eyes darted around for an exit or any kind of weapon to grab, before landing upon a terrified Elwyr. The fat fuck had somehow managed to squeeze himself under the table and was hiding. (He honestly must have been piss faced drunk if he thought a man of his fucking size was going to be able to successfully hide under there and no one would find him.)

I groaned outwardly before crouching down and dragging him out from underneath the table. (What a day to decide to be a fucking hero Elena...)

The Danish scourge are momentarily distracted as they continue with the work of cutting down, killing, abducting, and raping. Taking advantage of the chaos and the subsequently distracted Danes, I see an opening at the side of the tavern that they've ignored...and I fucking bolt for it- dragging Elwyr's fat drunk stumbling ass behind me.

I almost make it with Elwyr in tow before he gets cut down and gutted like a pig. I am momentarily horrified at the sight of the butcher now lying dead on the ground before me, but I quickly regain my senses and shake the shock from me, continuing to make a run for it. I am almost free before I am grabbed from behind and yanked back inside- almost having made it fully through the door.

"Well, what do we have here?" A voice sounds out from behind me, presumably belonging to the man whose clutches I am now in.

As I am forcefully dragged back inside, my small body is whipped around to face a tall muscular blonde Dane with short half-shaven, intricately side braided hair.

"You're a pretty little one." He says with a thick foreign accent.

He leers at me with his icy blue eyes- eyes that seem to pop even more given the dark eyeliner and war paint surrounding them; and he rakes his gaze all over my face and body before pushing me against a wall and putting a blade to my throat. He continues to eye me up and down before he turns to his friends; who are already engaged in their own killing and raping activities; and says something in a foreign tongue over to them- they laugh, and then make a crude gesture in response while cackling loudly.

"I suggest you fucking let me go right the fuck now asshole." I growl.

He turns to me eyeing me curiously, and smirks- clearly amused. "Ohh, this one is unique indeed...you're different than the other Saxon women we've bedded."

"Correction, you mean raped." I snarl back, struggling in his grip.

This seems to spur him on rather than anger him, and he pulls me closer- trailing his hot and heavy breath down my neck.

"Mmm...I'm sure they found the experience quite enjoyable and even if they didn't, it matters not..." He whispers in my ear. "I could however make this experience quite enjoyable for you..." He says with a hint of playful cheekiness and seduction to his tone.

I snarl and stomp on his foot with all my might, wiggling free from his grasp and making another bolt for the door. The blonde Dane is momentarily caught off guard- nearly dropping the knife from his hand. He soon regains his composure however quickly enough to grab me and throw me against the wall once more.

I turn my face and look outside the open doorway...more than half the village is aflame and people are running in all directions, screaming for their lives while simultaneously being cut down by Danes. The knife sits at my throat once again, and my back is pushed and pinned against the wall nearing the side entranceway. My escape is so near, yet my freedom is kept so completely and utterly far away at the edge of a dagger's length. I turn and glare at him with divine hatred smoldering in my eyes; my anger and vile seems to again spur him on and he stares down at me with increased curiosity.

The Dane towers over me, with a glint of bemusement and fascination in his eyes; and again, he looks me up and down- surveying me, lapping me up with his gaze like I were a prime cut of meat. He smirks at me, and lightly flicks his tongue out to lick his lips. I felt violated by this man's lecherous and wandering gaze.

So, in another and retrospectively stupid act of defiance...I spit at his face (and I mean REALLY SPIT- like umpire at bat spitting up the world's largest loogie on the field of Fenway Park level of spit). I felt slightly good at having spit at him to be completely honest though...and I stood there smug as fuck with a shit eating grin plastered all across my face, while he continued to loom threateningly over me with a dagger pressed to my neck.

(I know...colossally stupid move Elena. But hey? It's the little things in life, right? And plus, I was going to count this as a victory however small and utterly stupid this small act of defiance may have been...it felt SO GOOD.)

He looks shocked momentarily before wiping his face and cracking into a wide and cheeky grin. My smug look instantly faded in response to his smile. He yelled something once again in a foreign tongue over towards his pals and they chuckled wholeheartedly in response.

He turns his attention back to me, shooting me an almost predatory smirk. "Yes, you are definitely not a Saxon woman."

"Fuck you." I snarl, squirming underneath him.

(I just need to buy my time enough to turn this to my advantage and escape...I just need to time it right...the gears in my head begin to turn as I try and remember several moves on how to best disarm a target.)

"Mmm...lucky for you I bore of Saxon mares. You will most certainly be a most interesting ride." He chuckles.

Anger shoots through me and at this point I'm seeing red. "The fuck I will, motherfucker!"

(I had a horrible temper when pushed and I was pretty quick to snap...I blamed my Latin blood for that...I mean some stereotypes sometimes turn out to be true...just saying. Anyways, my nostrils were at this point flaring like some kind of wild beast and I literally just snapped and went almost full ghetto hood bitch on this fucking Viking.)

The Dane snorts and releases a full bellied laugh; his eyes twinkling as they take me in. "You speak in a most unusual manner and your spirit...it reminds me of our women almost." He leans in to whisper to me. "If I am as satisfied as I think I will be tonight, I shall make you my woman."

Nostrils were really fucking flaring at this point and I was getting angrier and angrier. I started to curse at him in the most viciously colorful manner in Spanish (the shit I said would make a seasoned sailor blush...that's all I'm saying).

He didn't really pay much mind to my nostril flares or my full-bodied foreign curses, and instead merely chuckled bemusedly in response to my failed efforts at intimidation. (I mean he was a huge fucking toned ass Viking after all and here I was pinned under his blade- a small angry little woman cursing at him in a foreign language...I probably looked like some kind of yappy little dog trying to act all tough and alpha to what was basically the human version of a Pitbull...and as much as it pained me to swallow this pill of truth...I wasn't fucking shit at this particular time or in this particular situation.)

"A special prize indeed..." He rolls out slickly in his accented voice. "I don't know that particular tongue, but I wager I understand the intent of the words..." He laughs, as I writhed beneath him. "I'll put that tongue to better use though I promise."

I growl deeply and gutturally, as he takes his hand and raises my chin surveying my face. "A real find we have here...you're quite a beauty too- different, but I like different."

 _("Now, now is the time I need to act."_ I say, internally to myself.)

While he is amused with his ' _prize'_ and tickled pink at the prospect of bedding me, I take the opportunity to unleash a fury of combat moves upon him- a stomp here, an elbow down here, a throat punch here...disarming him instantaneously and sending the blade flying out of his hand. I then give him a swift kick to the balls that sends him spiraling downward to his knees. Both my assailant and the other men in the room are stunned and shocked at what just transpired; and I take full advantage of their surprise- using it to make my escape from the tavern.

The doubled over Dane cursed in his native tongue over towards the other men. I imagine he was both cursing at me for what I had done to him and charging the men to take flight after me- either way I wasn't going to stick the fuck around to see.

I did however internally gloat...and I gleamed with pride; a smug little smile pulling at my face as I ran. I was feeling like David must have felt at having slain Goliath; and I ran down the flame lit streets like my it was my ass on fire instead of the village. I continued to run putting as much distance between me and the men, before quickly ducking out of sight and disappearing down some side roads. This proved effective since it allowed me to avoid the other Danes who continued to rape and pillage all around me.

I ran immediately towards the direction of the forge and my home; towards Aldwin and Juliette- praying to God that they were not yet reached or had somehow managed to flee.

I slide to a full stop upon reaching my home, which is set ablaze and crumbling in on itself. Throwing all sense of caution and self-preservation to the wind, I rush inside with reckless abandon; thinking nothing of myself and everything for the family who had taken me- a refugee of time, in. I kicked in the door and ran through the flames to find Aldwin barely alive laying upon the floor and spitting up blood- a large slash down his midsection.

"ALDWIN!" I yell, rushing to his side.

He looks to me a mixture of confusion, relief, panic, and fear all flashing across his face simultaneously. He tries to speak but coughs from all the smoke in the air, spitting up more blood with every attempt to bring voice to his words.

He somehow manages it however and between blood sputtering coughs- says, "Elena...they took her...Juliette...you need- you need to save...her."

"Aldwin hold on! I'm going to get you out!" I plead helplessly, as I try to drag the massive man out of the inferno.

"No, lass I'm already not long for this world, you can't do anything for me...save Juliette..." He says sputtering up blood and using what little strength he has left to grab me by the collar. "Save my daughter!"

Aldwin coughs, more blood coming up and filling his mouth. "Take my sword, take whatever you can and save her. Elena, please...honor a dying man's wish...save Juliette, do anything. I-I..."

And with that his grip on my collar weakened and his hand dropped down.

He's dead.

Tears well in my eyes as I look down at my fallen friend- nay, _my family._ I am overwhelmed completely; and become a tempest of sorrow and rage. I scream helplessly and turn borderline hysterical as I try dragging Aldwin's corpse out from the burning building. I somehow manage to move him all of two feet before beams from the houses structure start to collapse and his legs soon become trapped underneath a pile of rubble. Still, I try to drag his body out, before turning my attention to the rubble pinning his corpse in place. I stupidly try to move the rumble and free him- but alas, to no avail. I'm crying helplessly, and am completely defeated, coughing heavily from the smoke; I still nevertheless try yanking at his dead body, falling backwards onto the floor as a result of my failed efforts.

"I-I'm sorry Aldwin. I'm so sorry...I promise you I'll save her. I'll save Juliette." I say, wiping the snot, soot, and tears from my face- rising to my feet, and continuing to cough from the obvious smoke inhalation I had been willingly subjecting myself to.

I reluctantly retreat from the burning building, leaving Aldwin's body behind in the blaze.

 

 

* * *

 

 

I stumble out of the fiery inferno that had once been my home, taking a moment to breathe fresh air into my lungs and to also calm myself down a bit. (Well, I tried breathing that is...but I was still coughing due to the smoke, and even worse still I was starting at that moment to effectively lose my shit and begin to hyperventilate. Perfect timing for the hero to have a panic attack- am I right?)

Aldwin was dead, and my mind had trouble accepting that. All of the events of this horrible night played through my minds-eye like the montage sequence of a film, and I soon found myself falling helplessly to my knees- buckling over onto all fours and gripping the grass below between my fingers. My tears fell onto the ground below me, and I gritted my teeth upon seeing them wet the grass. I didn't know how it was possible to feel so much sorrow and yet also feel so much blood-curdling rage and anger all at the same time. I was completely and utterly dejected yet furious. I swallowed heavily, stifling my cries and succumbing fully to my bloodlust.

(I steadied my breathing and I swear I must have had some kind of fucking out of body experience, because the next thing I knew I was up on my feet and pretty much watching myself rush towards the direction of the forge that sat adjacent from the house.)

"Good. Thank God it hasn't been burned." I heard myself mutter.

I run over and quickly arm myself to the teeth (think medieval Rambo here), as I quickly pull on a leather armored tunic over my clothes- covering the armor then with a thick outer tunic and jacket (the more layers the better for protection, right?). I then make my way over to the weapons rack and the large table seated at the back of the room- making quick work to grab both my prized daggers, and of course also making sure to grab Aldwin's sword as well (which is arguably the best blade the smiths ever made). I take a small moment to admire his blade before sheathing it back into its hilt and securing it onto my belt. This exquisitely crafted weapon would most assuredly be the tool from which I shall enact my vengeance using...and God would it look glorious painted red with those bastard's blood.

Bloodlust and rage boiled within me, as I head off in search of Juliette. I took to the side streets once more, using the cover of darkness and shadow to stealthily make my way towards the village square where the most commotion and noise seemed to be coming from. From where I hid, I could see countless numbers of villagers (the ones who hadn't been slain and somehow managed to survive the assault), were now being rounded up and bound, then herded into sizable steel caged carts.

(What the actual fuck...? Are they...are they fucking taking slaves?!)

I raged internally at the sight before me, utterly disgusted by what I was seeing (the Saxons were right these bastards were fucking devils...I mean I knew from history that the Danes and Vikings were bad- but seeing it all play out firsthand really brings the reality of their evil ways to the forefront of one's understanding). I looked onward, watching the scene play out and trying to plan the best course of action to take- when all of a sudden, I heard a young girl scream.

I recognize the scream and my eyes frantically scan the crowd for its source- stopping dead in their tracks upon seeing Juliette being manhandled by a large brunette Dane. The young girl is full of spirit and fury, as she tries the self-defense techniques that I've taught her...unfortunately, the moves are to not much avail or success given that her captor is ten times her size. I gulp, a nervous cold sweat breaking down my neck as I watch her try and fight back. She flails in his arms and bites him causing him to curse and drop her momentarily. The Dane's anger quickly rises, and he backhands her causing her to fly backwards into the air a few feet. She lies on the ground limp and unmoving; the Dane going over to her and picking her up like a rag doll and then tossing her into the cage with the others.

(Suffice to say, upon witnessing this...my blood was fucking boiling and it took every bit of my fucking logic and self-restraint to not leap upon the man who had just laid his hands on Juliette. I promised myself that this man would suffer, that his hands and especially his life we're now forfeit and mine.)

Danes continued to yell and bark orders at one another, as I sat and watched from the shadows- devising a plan in my head and waiting for the perfect time to strike. I had decided that I would try and follow them, and then make my rescue mission once they all had slept- I would abscond with Juliette in hand, and if possible, slit the fuckers throat who had hit her.

(The plan seemed solid in my mind- sneak in, hit 'em quick and silently, then peace the fuck out with the girl. But, like all well made plans...especially those devised by _the literal_ \- poster child of Murphy's Law...they were of course laid to waste and went epically tits up.)

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" A thick and cocky accented voice bellowed out from behind me.

I whipped around at the sudden familiarity of the voice- and of course standing there greeting me is my would-be assailant from earlier. (Again, fucking poster child for Murphy's Law right here...)

"Not fucking you again." I sigh.

He smirks at me- coming towards me with a predatory gaze alit in his eyes. I draw my sword in response to his advances.

"Nah, mate back the fuck up or I won't kick them this time, I'll cut them the fuck off."

Bemused he draws his own weapon and approaches; I instinctively back up and ready myself into a fighting stance.

"Okay, so we're doing this then." I say, eyeing his every movement and trying to gauge his moves.

He lunges at me and I defend- the clashing of metal against metal. I deftly side step out of the way- the strike wasn't heavy like you'd expect from a man of his size and power...he's testing me. (Playing with me like a cat does a mouse- well, I'm no fucking mouse that much is for sure and I intend to show him as much.) He strikes again harder this time and I somehow manage to still defend while staying on my feet. I am sliding back onto the ground however and am now narrowly trying to hold back his powerful blow from overtaking me. It is blade against blade, and he pushes further down towards me- pushing his face into mine.

"You are definitely not like the women here. Are you sure you aren't a Dane?" He laughs.

I push back; anger fueling me as I kick him backwards and then side step once more- sliding out of the way of his blade and his upcoming next swing. We dance like this for a while and in the heat of our battle I hardly notice that we are now in the town square openly fighting. The sound of Danes laughing and cheering in revelry towards us- the entertainment, can now be heard over the sounds of clashing steel. I spin to avoid his next attack and he's laughing. He's obviously thoroughly enjoying this whole thing. I notice Juliette's tear stained faced pressed up against the bars of the cage- pleading, praying for my victory.

"You know this makes for excellent foreplay. In fact, I am quite hard right now thinking about another sword I intend to pierce you with." He replies, with a cocksure grin painted across his face. The men respond to his bold declaration with a mountain of laughter and cheers.

I scoff. "That's not a sword it's more like a small dagger...better yet it's likely more akin to a woman's sewing needle."

I strike him again fast and swift and he stumbles slightly backwards. The men snort and cackle clearly amused by my retort, and at the tit for tat transpiring between us and our clashes of steel. This man has the smuggest and widest grin on his face right now, and I want to just cut it clear off of him.

(If he wasn't a violent killer/rapist, and a bloodthirsty Viking...and well you know trying to kill me and destroy everyone and everything I love...I'd likely find him kind of attractive...I mean evil shit aside he is pretty hot. I know wrong time Elena, totally _totally_ wrong time and place. Also, you have pretty shit taste in men that much is clear girl...I shake my head and internally scold myself for even having thought what I had thought.)

Our blades crash against one another again, and I'm pushed against the cage that holds Juliette captive inside.

"ELENA!" She screams towards me- panicked and in complete and utter terror.

"Don't worry I got you Juliette. I'm going to save you I promise..."

I spring myself up from the cage and make a move as if I'm going to clash against his sword once again, but instead dive downwards onto the ground taking the Dane by surprise and kicking his feet out from under him. In one swift movement, I leap upon him and having abandoned my sword am now straddling him whilst holding my quickly drawn dagger closely to his neck. (Oh, how the tables have turned asshole.)

The Danes surrounding us step forward- about to make a move (presumably on me), before the man situated below me yells something out in Danish, and motions for them to stay their hand. I stare fiercely down at the man holding my blade firmly to his throat. He stared intensely up at me, and I began to feel a hardness through his pants while I straddled him.

(I had a blade to his throat...and this motherfucker was turned on...like he was actually fucking hard whilst fighting...like he hadn't been joking. The bastard wasn't fucking with me at all!)

I look down at him utterly bewildered, completely revolted, and at a loss for words. Upon having taken notice of my disgust at his...well this obviously large and uncomfortable situation I'm now finding myself within...he merely looked up to me and smiled coyly.

"It looks like we both have blades to one another." He says, a hearty chuckle escaping his lips.

"Ughhh..." I retort in disgust.

He cackles wildly, and then begins to say something in his native tongue to his men; and upon hearing him speak, I press the blade down harder to his throat trickles of blood forming underneath and now rolling down the steel.

(Now, in retrospect I felt like a total badass and was smiling like the goddamn cat that ate the canary...that is before I remembered that I was drastically outnumbered and that there was currently like 15+ large as fuck and angry Vikings standing around me. Not. The. Best. Idea. Wren. Not the best idea- at all.)

By the time I _had_ manage to remember this...I was hit in the head from behind, by what I assumed had to be the pommel end of a sword- and was as a result of this blow, subsequently knocked unconscious.

My only regret is that I had obviously capsized onto the cocky son of a bitch underneath me...the son of a bitch that I had every intention of killing...and the bastard probably just loved that! I hated giving him any sort of satisfaction whatsoever so the fact that I had most assuredly fallen unconscious upon him, had been taken by me to be a most personal kind of offense.

By the time I had come to it was already night time again, and I found that I sat with the other prisoners (and soon to be slaves) in the steel framed cage/cart- my hands having been tightly bound like all the others. Juliette sat near to me, looking upon me with worry in her eyes. It reminded me a lot of how we had first met- me coming to from unconsciousness and her staring down at me; only this time curiosity and wonderment was replaced with helplessness and fear.

I groaned loudly rubbing the back of my head. "What the fuck happened?"

"You fought valiantly but one of the other Danes knocked you out." Juliette tells me.

Just then a Dane came 'round and violently smacked the side of the cage. "Shut up. No speak."

Juliette rolls her eyes, looking over and waiting for his form to retreat before she turns back to me and whispers. "Papa is gone, isn't he?"

"Yes...Juliette, I'm so sorry. I tried...but I couldn't do anything...I was- I was too late."

Tears well in the little girl's eyes, and she quickly wipes her face choking them back- her voice cracking. "You're going to kill them right Elena? You're going to kill them all."

"Yes, Juliette or I'll die trying."

 

 

 


	7. "A Begrudged Band of Heroes..."

 

* * *

 

Borderland Village of East Anglia/Wessex- 10th century- the following day after the assault...

 

The half Saxon, half Dane warrior known as Uhtred Ragnarson and Uhtred of Bebbanburg rode with his men on horseback into the village that had overnight turned into a village of ash and smoke. The men that accompanied the infamous Dane Slayer were a small party consisting of the warriors Sihtric and Finan, a young monk and royal bastard by the name of Osferth, and the priest whom the warrior Uhtred had known for much of his life, Father Beocca.

This band of ragtag warriors and misfits rode towards the village on their way home to Cookham (which had been regifted to Uhtred by King Edward following the great battle of Saxon vs. Dane). The group had hoped to restock on their provisions and to find much needed rest and reprieve in this encroaching village before continuing their journey onward; and were needless to say quite dismayed upon the discovery of the village's sudden destruction.

The village they now found themselves riding towards had mostly been set ablaze and completely destroyed; save for a few scattered buildings here and there; and it was suffice to say now nothing but a hollow and pale comparison of the image of provinciality and normalcy it had once been prior to the invasion. All that remained was a burnt-out skeleton of its former self, the Danish raiding party had seen to that.

Uhtred and his men after spending many a month on the road and in the wild post the great battle had very much needed comfort and a semblance of civilization that a village such as this would have ideally provided- but alas, it would now appear given the rising smoke and the current outpour of refugees, that they would unfortunately be finding comfort and civilization in short supply within this parts.

"Well, there goes me enjoyin' a pint and a woman..." The Irishman known as Finan remarked.

"Yes, it appears much of our plans have quite literally gone up in smoke." Replied, Father Beocca.

"Aye, real fuckin' perceptive of 'ya Father."

Beocca rolls his eyes. "Or perhaps the village was merely making itself ready for when a devil like yourself rode through."

"Nah, I still expect women and ale in hell Father...even for a devil of my like." Finan replies, with a wink.

Sihtric snorts and chuckles.

"Danes, you think?" Posed the young monk Osferth.

"Most certainly. I imagine many bands have fractured off following the last battle." Father Beocca replies.

"Did you think we defeated them all with Edward?" Uhtred says, with a cocksure grin.

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised to see them so near the border of Wessex." Replied Osferth.

"Aye, bold little shite's these ones." Remarked Finan.

"They merely do what Danes do. That or they seem to be testing our young king." Shrugs Uhtred.

"Should we be concerned?" Questioned Father Beocca, his face serious and his brows knit with worry.

"No, it matters not...let it be Edward's concern." Stated Uhtred, affirmatively.

"Should we not learn of what transpired here while passing through though?" Osferth asks, rather hesitantly.

Uhtred sighs. "There's no harm in that knowledge alone no...but, I tire of cleaning up the messes of Wessex and it's king- the boy will need to learn to carry the weight of the crown on his own now. I am done being Wessex's obedient dog."

Beocca stares at the Dane Slayer gravely, seemingly in disapproval. "Uhtred..."

"Oh, don't start with that priest. I care not for the affairs of some boy king or some backwater village I've never been to- and I desire for nothing more than to return to Cookham and to my children...and with luck and the Gods favor smiling upon me hopefully I can rid them of the taint of the Christian God that Alfred had forced upon them..."

"The one true God you mean." Beocca replies, brows furrowing.

"Your God Beocca...whether it be true to you or not, it remains untrue to me- and to my children." The warrior Uhtred states.

"I don't know why 'ya even try anymore father...'ya won't be saving a heathen like Uhtred here anytime soon..." Interjects Finan, playfully.

"Aye, I am well aware of the fact that you lot- aside from young Osferth here, are a lost cause; trust me." Replies, the priest.

The party continued on horseback, making their way along the road towards the charred remains of the village- passing by several survivors and refugees. The village it had turned out was not completely left ruinous and abandoned entirely, and miraculously a few stragglers had somehow survived the Danish excursion- whether that be by luck or by cowardice it was not known; and what few survivors remained were now making their way out of the burnt-out remains of their homes, carrying what little possessions they had left upon their backs or dragging them behind in small carts.

A lone priest dragging a small cart, advances towards Uhtred and his men- a small group of townsfolk following behind him.

The priest stops and begins to speak to the mounted warriors. "Milord's best not dally in this accursed land. 'Nothing left here but ash and ghosts." He says.

"What happened here?" Asks Beocca.

The priest pulling the cart seems comforted by the presence of fellow holy men, and regards Father Beocca and the young monk Osferth warmly before continuing. "Danes milord. The devils...they destroyed everything, killed everyone, took everyone..."

Sihtric scoffs. "Well, clearly not everyone."

The priest whips his head around towards Sihtric incredulously- seemingly regarding his presence for the first time. "You don't understand we barely- it was by the grace of God we even survived..." The priest states, defensively.

The warrior Uhtred looks to the cart that the priest is dragging behind him- the canvas tarp which covers it is pulled back some exposing what appears to be a sizable sum of silver and other various valuable goods underneath.

"And by the grace of God you protected so much silver too it seems Father..." Uhtred quips.

The priest hangs his head in shame, seemingly acknowledging his own cowardice.

Uhtred sighs. "Do you know where they perhaps took the others, or did you perhaps not see cowering from your hiding spot?"

"The only way out from the village is through the fields up north and through the forest that lies ahead." The priest responds, solemnly.

"Are 'ya sure they went north and not south or even west or east?" Finan asks.

"Well, unless they want to stumble upon Wessex or Mercia, I am supposing they went north back to the hell from which they sprang. That or east towards the sea...but I wager they took to the forest given the size of their party and how many of us they took- better game to be had if needed in those woods." The priest responds with a bare hint of annoyance in his tone.

Beocca interjects. "That's indeed a fair assumption Father...and Uhtred, we do know that after their defeat at the hands of you and Edward that many of the factions have presumably fled north. The only Danes you see this far south are occasional raiding parties and-"

"Slavers, I am aware Beocca."

The fleeing priest looks to Uhtred and his men uncomfortably; as if asking permission to make his departure from the conversation- Beocca nods kindly at the priest and he nods back at them in turn, before finally pulling his cart past them and quickly making his leave.

The warriors Uhtred and Finan shift in their saddles awkwardly; the dark memories from their previous lives as slaves in the hull rushing back to the forefront of their consciousness.

"What are we going to do Uhtred?" Finan asks, breaking the tension.

Uhtred is momentarily silent before finally speaking. "Nothing. This does not concern us. We ride on home to Cookham. Edward has granted me my lands back and my children wait for me there with Hild."

Beocca, scowls. "Uhtred, you know what to do."

"Continue on ahead to Cookham? Why yes, yes that is what I intend to do."

"Uhtred...we can't just leave them." Argued, Finan.

"It's not our concern." Uhtred replies, before taking the reins of his horse and turning it around- leading it forward away from his men and what he found to be their incessant chattering.

Finan yells out to Uhtred, causing the man to abruptly stop his horse. "Uhtred!"

Uhtred sighs and turns towards Finan- allowing the Irishman to continue.

"This- this is not right...you remember what it was like...for us..."

Uhtred growls and sighs. "Sihtric, Osferth are you planning on turning against me as well?"

"I think we should help milord if we are able." Replied the young monk.

"I agree- and Finan's right Uhtred. Slavery is a terrible fate for anyone...plus we are only half a day's ride from there. It will not be such an inconvenience to turn back and lend aid." Added Sihtric.

Uhtred sighs heavily. "So, I guess then it is settled?"

"Aye, plus think of all the gracious damsels in distress to be saving eh?" Finan states with a wide and cocksure grin.

Uhtred smiles obviously bemused by the Irishman's banter. "Finan, leave it to you to first think and lead with your heart only then to be led solely by your cock."

"Aren't they one in the same?" Finan responds- a cheeky little smirk playing upon his face.

Uhtred laughs, Father Beocca rolls his eyes, Osferth stifles a small giggle, and Sihtric grins in response. The warrior Uhtred shakes his head, clicking at his horse to turn it around and press the party onward towards the north, and thus in the direction of the slavers.

 

 

 


	8. "Planted Roots & Salted Earth (Part 2)"

 

* * *

 

Danish Slavers Camp- East  Anglian Forest- 10th century- the following night after the assault...

 

Hours had past, and it was well into the night by this point. I wasn't sure how late exactly, only that the moon hung high in the sky. It couldn't have been too late I gathered however since most of our captors were still awake and enjoying themselves with some kind of celebration around the fire.

(Seriously though...did these Vikings do anything apart from commit massive acts of violence and drink/celebrate? Like, it was a massive 24/7 rager with these guys it seemed...and I honestly pitied their poor livers as a result of it...or rather, I would pity them and the state of their internal organs more, had I and Juliette not been on the receiving end of those aforementioned acts of violence.)

The men laughed, and fought, and drank, and fought...and well you get it- repeat cycle.

We continued to sit confined and cramped in the steel framed cage that was somehow mounted atop a large cart; and the cage itself had proven to be large enough for us to stand in but not large enough for much movement inside. Juliette, I, and countless numbers of others from our village sat here within this prison and played the role of captive, narrowly a hope in the world for any sort of salvation or chance of escape to come our way. The night hung thick and the air was heavy, and I'm not sure if was due partially to the tension which loomed in the air all around us or due to our close proximity to one another...but this air...this air and this atmosphere was stifling, and it was suffocating. This thick suffocation I felt had been a purposeful kind of design on the part of our captors, in that it helped to both cement a kind of helplessness to our situation yet also aided in dispersing fear and quelling any thoughts or notions of rebellion that may have been brewing within our minds. For how utterly and completely stupid and/or mindless these Danes had otherwise outwardly appeared, they were admittedly quite well versed and adept in the art of the psychological; and they wielded domination, fear and intimidation just as well as any blade.

In the bleakness of our newfound situation and in the cramped space of our current prison, I held a now crying Juliette in my arms; and between her sobs and my words of comfort, we had continued to whisper to one another (all but ignoring the demands of the brutish Dane from earlier who had rattled the cage). It had quickly dawned on us as the hours had past (despite our bold declarations and optimistic hopes towards vengeance and freedom) the actual severity of our situation; and we had realized very soon while spending these past few hours in captivity not only just the severity of it all...but also the fact that we were both effectively alone in the world apart from having one another. It was a small blessing admittedly that we had at the very least- that...that we had one another; however, the truth of the situation and its severity lied in the fear that we both would eventually end up separated and then truly and completely alone.

I didn't blame her for crying to be honest (God knows a large part of me had wanted to break down and weep countless times throughout all this shit...and I mean I certainly had broken down a fair share leading up to this particular point...), but I tried my best to keep myself together for Juliette; to be strong for Juliette. The young girl had tried so hard to be strong herself, to be brave, to hold it together...but eventually she just broke; and I did the only thing I could do for her in this precise moment...I held her tightly in my arms, stroked her hair, and rocked her gently. I knew I couldn't bring back her father or somehow change the fate of the previous night...but I could try and soothe her...to bring her some comfort...however small it may be.

"Elena, can you...can you sing me a song...?" The young girl asks, sniffling.

"What would you like to hear?"

"Somewhere over the rainbow..." Juliette sniffles once again- wiping tears and snot from her face.

I nod gently and continue to hold her tightly against my chest. I start to hum the tune lightly, then ever so softly I begin to sing the lyrics. The rest of the cage's occupants are silent while they too sit and listen to the song's soft melody. The song seems to have a lullaby effect on all those whose ears it reaches, and it seemingly has soothed and momentarily distracted most from the woes and fear of our current entrapment.

 

* * *

 

The Dane; which our fair Elena Wren had fought with previously; had found himself suddenly bored and in need of different entertainment, and so he left both the revelry of his fellow brother's in arms, and the comfort and warmth of his campfire to make his way towards where the slaves were being held. He had hoped to find a victim for his sadism, and an outlet for his surplus energy- a plaything to fight or to hump. Admittedly, he had also found that his curiosity regarding a particular woman that they had taken captive, had also compelled him to make his way towards the slave pens; perhaps, she would be his plaything for the evening? It was an interesting and exciting thought, and it was one that for him proved to be most tempting.

As he drew nearer to the cages, he began to hear the soft tune of a young woman's voice, and like a sailor lured by a siren's call he followed the sweet sound closer and closer until he saw that the voice belonged to no other than the woman from earlier. The same woman who had peaked his curiosity and to whom he had arguably begun to take a particular interest towards. The Dane stood a ways off lurking in the shadows while listening to her sing her song. She was a most peculiar and exotic outlander he had thought to himself; and he had found that he was beginning to feel enraptured by both her unusual beauty and her strange foreign lullaby. This new odd feeling was one of excitement and a kind of rushing adrenaline which filled him with a blossoming desire somewhere deep within his core. He would have this woman; he promised both himself and the God's he'd make it so. No woman had ever peaked his curiosity and stoked the flames of his desire so much, nor had any woman ever challenged him so, and certainly never had a woman ever bested him in combat.

And while, he of course found her alluring for certainly she was a divine beauty; a small but strong frame complete with hourglass curves and athleticism, matched with darkened hair, earthen skin and eyes the color of rich honey mead; it was not merely her beauty alone that drew him to the precipice of lust and desire...but it was a beauty complete with a vivaciousness to her spirit, and a wild untamable nature that had him utterly bewitched. She was different, and he liked different.

Her enviable skill with a sword was on par with or even surpassed many of the shield and battle maidens that he knew...and certainly while this woman was indeed no Dane, she was certainly no Saxon either for she looked not Saxon. Saxon lands did not deserve such a woman. Nay, he'd make her Dane. He would tame her, break her a bit if need be if only to remold her into further perfection. It was settled then and there where he stood...this strange woman...this woman was to be his.

 

* * *

 

I had just finished singing my song to Juliette, and she now laid fast asleep snuggled up in my arms. I was looking down at her tenderly and stroking her head, when the Dane (or the bastard as I've taken to calling him since I still didn't know his name) sauntered over to the cage slowly letting out a soft clap. Most of my fellow captives upon seeing him emerge from the shadows instinctively fled to the back end of the cage and crowded in fear to try and distance themselves as much as possible from him. I stayed put, Juliette still asleep in my arms and I stared dead at him glaring, daring the fucker to try something (and fuuuuccckkk...girl...if looks could kill I'd have melted him on the spot with the intensity of my gaze).

He smiled coyly at me before looking down at Juliette who laid soundly asleep in my arms. "I didn't realize you were a bard as well as a battle maiden dear woman...it also appears you are rather nurturing as well. This is good- for our future children will need both a strong and nurturing mother."

(HA! Bitch funny. Bitch, real fucking funny.)

I snort- laughing out loud, and literally throwing my head back. "If you think I'd ever sire your offspring you're absolutely deluded..."

"Deluded?" He repeated, puzzled.

"A crazy fuck, mad in the head...off your fucking rocker insane...kicked by a horse...I could go on? Basically, you're fucking stupid if you think that is ever EVER happening!"

The Dane smirks, seemingly having finally caught my meaning. "Oh, it will happen I promise you. I am a man who gets what he desires. Fate favors the strong- and fate favors Tjorvi Ulfsson this day."

(So, I finally knew the fucking bastards name...and fuck did he have delusions of grandeur and narcissism for days or what?)

Our exchange appears to have woken young Juliette up, because she stirs at that moment underneath me and yawns.

"Elena...?" She blinks sleepily up at me.

"So, Elena is it then?...hmm." He looks down at Juliette once more laying in my arms, then back to me- a devilish grin spreading across his face. "Perhaps, I'll need to convince you of it eh?"

It had all happened so fast that my mind couldn't even register it all at first; but at that exact moment in one swift movement he unlocked and opened the cage, stepping partially inside and yanked Juliette out of my arms, pulling her up to her feet. Juliette yelps in surprise and begins screaming as he starts to drag her away. I leapt up to my feet the second he touched her, and I start to go for the attack (I will gouge his fucking eyes out I swear to God). The Dane known as Tjorvi merely laughs off my attempts to hurt him and pushes me away as if I were merely an annoying fly buzzing around him.

Tjorvi slams the cage door shut and locks it behind him, and he turns her suddenly so that her front faces me...and so that I can see the terror alit in her small face. He stares intensely at me while holding her tightly in his arms, seemingly bemused while trying to gauge my reaction. I push myself up against the cage door trying in vain to force it open (I am essentially a caged animal ready to rip his throat out at this point).

He maintains his eye contact with me as he begins to take a lock of her lovely blonde hair betwixt his fingers and twirl it ever so lightly. My nostrils flare in response, my face a fiery crimson hue of rage, fury, and murderous intent. He sees my expression and is seemingly amused by it...tickled pink even; and he smugly grins at me before bending down to lay a small gentle kiss upon the temple of a now quite hysterical Juliette.

My hands grip the bars so tightly my knuckles begin turning white, and he smiles once again at me- shooting me a devilishly coy smirk. This smirk of the devil...this smile...I knew was of a man with nothing but ill intent on his mind, and darkness in his heart; and I watched helplessly as he dragged her away towards the fire and towards the group of celebrating men. I banged against the bars and screamed- the other people in the cage scolded me and tried to dissuade me from causing trouble that could possibly come back on them. I ignored them, their warnings falling upon deaf ears...and their pitiful cowardice and cries become white noise as all my attention now lies on somehow transforming my small womanly frame into a human battering ram and getting this fucking goddamn cage door down. I stare off towards the fire and towards Tjorvi's men that lie a few feet away from us...they're now jovially pushing a terrified Juliette back and forth between them; a sick game of human hot potato; their laughs bellowing deeply and resonating like the roaring of thunder. Her terror and sobs grow with every push and subsequent grab and fondle by the men.

 

* * *

 

I had never actually killed anyone before in my life- like actual human beings. Sure, I was a master of simulated violence and certainly have in my past fucked people up both in the ring at the gym and outside it- but never have I killed anyone or even thought of actually killing someone...until now. Perhaps, some people were right in their moral panics and all that violent media had desensitized me a bit...maybe they weren't so crazy or ridiculous like I had thought after all. Maybe that was it...maybe violent media growing up was to blame...or maybe- just maybe...living here in this time had exposed me to such a rough way of life and dark side of humanity that I had somehow hardened and lost a bit of myself and my soul.

They always say travel changes a person, but I don't think I realized how much...this certainly wasn't some _eat, pray, love_ transformation that was for fucking sure.

I had darkened, I had evolved and I wasn't quite sure if I feared the woman I had become or if I loved her...I was prepared to do anything and I mean ANYTHING even if that meant eternal damnation- and not damnation in the spiritual or religious sense (since my newfound faith was more or less a mask from which I hid behind and a kind of camouflage necessary for my current predicament), no this was a damnation of the self...an estrangement from all that I was and all that I thought I'd be. I was losing myself slowly and surely...the question was would I fall into the void and embrace the pandemonium or would I try and claw my way out from the darkness back into the light of my former being...I had become a stranger to myself; albeit a familiar stranger; but a stranger nonetheless and with every passing hour in this place- in this time...that familiarity faded.

 

 

 


	9. "The Promise"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Trigger Warning this chapter has scenes of graphic violence and sexual assault. 
> 
> You've been warned folks...
> 
> \------
> 
> Also- side note: but some of the characters will be using the word koli in dialogue...for those of you who are confused by this, it's just an Old Norse byname for a dark-complexioned person apparently...or so the Google tells me. But, anyways...don't get too confused by it, and just roll with it because it's likely not going to be the last time this word crops up in the story.]

 

* * *

 

Danish Slavers Camp- East  Anglian Forest- 10th century- the following night after the assault...

 

Uhtred and his men get into position and begin to sneak into the slavers camp under the cover and shadow of night.

"Alright, Sihtric...you will go and clear the way and free the prisoners before leading them towards the tree line where Osferth waits. When you are finished regroup with Finan."

Sihtric nods at Uhtred's orders.

"Finan, you will sneak through the camp at the rear and slit as many throats as you can. As quietly as you can. Is that understood?"

"Aye, takin' all the fun out of it...but aye."

"Priest, you are with me. We will do the same through the front and sides."

"Very well."

"If the plan goes accordingly...and we are not stupid." Uhtred stares at Finan as he says this.

"Aye! 'Ya wound me Milord..." Finan replies smirking- hand on his chest in feigned insult.

Uhtred glares before rolling his eyes. "If we are smart...and we strike silently and quickly, we should be able to clear most of the guards and those who wonder off to take a drunken piss..."

"Aye, we'll be ghosts in the night."

"Yes. Remember- ghosts not idiots. Sihtric, you know what to do..."

 

* * *

 

Rage and pure insane instinct had completely taken over me at this point...and well...I will admit I wasn't exactly thinking clearly or seeing things straight here...I had effectively tuned out all logic and was running on pure emotion at this point.

(Oh, and you know how they say the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? Whelp, count me among the crazy...because I did just that.)

I continued to try and escape by bashing myself against the door of the cage. Quite, ineffectively actually...almost embarrassingly so. And, I was at this point alternating between body slamming the cage door and kicking at it- ideally, in the hope of somehow managing to loosen the bars or break them apart.

I stood there enraged and desperate- watching as Tjorvi speaks in Danish and laughs with his men. He's now passing off Juliette to a large dark-haired Dane (who I had recognized as being the man from earlier who had rounded everyone up into the cage, and who had also slapped Juliette). And, I assumed by their exchange that this man was likely close to the Dane Tjorvi- and was likely his second in command. I had also assumed that it was this man who likely had knocked me unconscious during the previous night's fight with Tjorvi.

The Dane says something to his leader, and Tjorvi nods laughing before then patting him on the back and sending him on his way forward into a tent. I began to break into a cold sweat and panic takes over my body completely- I find that my kicks and body slams are now more erratic, increasing tenfold in their speed and ferocity as a result of the spine-chilling sense of dread that now looms over me.

Juliette screams and struggles in the large brunette man's arms but is unable to escape his grip. She disappears behind the flap of the tent...the only sounds that follow are loud agonizing screams, boorish grunts, and the cheery whistling of Tjorvi as he sits outside the tent by the fire and whittles on a piece of wood.

The swan song of innocence that radiated from that tent was a horrifying and traumatizing piece of music...and it was music that played over and over throughout the night...it's violent melody; which had repeatedly echoed in my ears, and had imprinted itself into my minds-eye; became a parasite of hatred latching onto my soul.

 

* * *

 

Most of the men had begun to either go to sleep by now of their own volition or they now laid passed out in a drunken stupor. Either way, the camp had begun to settle for the night, and the screams radiating from that accursed tent had eventually died down...if only externally (internally they played on repeat in my mind).

No matter how hard I tried- the door of the cage would not give, and at this point I probably was on the verge of bruising or breaking every part of my body continuing to try and force it open. I found myself distraught and broken...and my mind could only begin to imagine what had just happened inside that tent. I felt sick every time I thought about it and as a result, I ended up finding myself bent over and throwing up through the bars of the cage. I wiped my mouth clean of the vomit and slowly rose to my feet- leaning my weakened body against the cage wall.

I had begun to physically convulse in my anger and helplessness, and I was tapping my foot anxiously now (seemingly much to the dismay and annoyance of my fellow captives, given the glares that they gave me in response...which I of course really didn't care about to be honest- they could all just fuck off for all I cared). I was trying to think...trying to clear my mind anyway I could...trying to plan, trying to do anything pretty much to drown out everything that had just transpired...but that was impossible I soon found out...for the events of this night...it plagued on my mind and soul heavily. I thought of Aldwin and my promise to him and in the pit of my stomach was a seed of guilt growing ever strong. I would not fail him- I COULD NOT, fail him.

My brows furrowed, and with renewed determination I flung myself from the wall back to the door of the cage and resumed kicking at the bars with all my might.

Just then a figure emerged from the shadows- the figure wore dark leather armor, furs, and by all accounts he looked Danish.

Anger rose in me at the sight of him and I lunged forward at the man through the bars- he jumped back slightly startled and stared at me for a moment curiously, before putting a finger to his lips to silence me. I stared at him perplexed, while he took out a tool of some kind and began fiddling with the lock. He was smaller than the other Danes and had short dark braided haired...and again by all accounts definitely looked Danish- but considering he was currently picking the lock on the cage to free us...it was probably safe to assume that he wasn't a friend or ally to Tjorvi.

The second that cage door was open, I flung myself forward like a raging bull. Surprised and pulled slightly off guard, our savior frantically motioned for me to stop- non verbally arguing for the importance of stealth in this particular matter. I begrudgingly took his message to heart and obeyed- quietly making my way out of the caged cart and hopping down onto the ground. He pressed his fingers to his lips once more and he beckoned us forward silently and pointed over to a direction off a ways and further into the woods- as to lead us all presumably to safety.

It was then that I looked over and saw what would have been our guard for the night laying down on the ground throat slit and drowning in a pool of his own blood. I assumed this was the work of our would-be savior and nodded a kind of silent thank you over towards the man- he seemed to understand my meaning and nodded back to me.

The other captives were herded silently towards safety- I however swiftly and deftly fell out from the group; and through removing myself from them, I was beginning to make my way back towards the camp as quickly as my feet would carry me.

Upon sneaking up towards the tents, I was surprised to see other figures up ahead also creeping up onto the sleeping encampment as well. I was puzzled by the sight of the small stealthy party for all of two seconds before I felt large hands grabbing me from behind.

Well, I don't know if the trauma of this whole ordeal had anything to do with what I did next or if it was pure primal muscle memory but...suffice to say instinct did indeed kick in. The moment I was grabbed, I found myself doing classic self-defense moves on my presumed assailant and I ended up somehow (don't even ask me how the fuck I did it because I don't even know), but somehow I managed to flip this man who was double my size over my shoulder onto the ground below.

"Fuckin' hell!" He managed to yell out before crashing down with a loud thud.

I was breathing heavily, wide-eyed, and looking like a complete mad woman as my eyes bore into the man now laying on the ground below me...the man that I had literally just thrown over my own body. (Again, do not ask how I managed to pull this feat off because I don't even know how I did it to be honest...)

The man stared up at me, eyes bulged in confusion. I guess I hadn't actually fully realized it, but not only had I just flipped him- I had also pinned him down too; with one foot down upon his chest and the other pinning down his left arm. I also found that I was currently holding his right arm firmly while twisting it backwards- effectively disempowering the man.

"Bloody fuckin' hell lass! I was only tryin' to help 'ya!" He spoke out with a thick Celtic accent. (Irish or maybe it was Scottish...I wasn't entirely sure at first to be honest.)

Apparently, this scene had alerted the man's comrades, who had previously been sneaking up on the camp and were now making their way over to us upon hearing all the commotion.

I twisted harder not sure what the man or his allies would likely do if I were to let him up.

"Ouch! Fuckin' hell, 'ya have a mean bloody grip on 'ya!"

Just then my small Danish looking savior from earlier approached seemingly out of nowhere- next to him was a large man accompanied by what appeared to be a priest. They stared down at their friend who was laying on the ground pinned rather pathetically below me.

"Comprising position, you've found yourself in Finan- but you should wait after battle before you take a woman." The small Dane from earlier says.

He smiles cheekily down at his friend and then towards me. I scoff at the man and his insinuation.

"What did I tell you about being stupid?" Scolds, the large man to Finan.

The smaller Danish looking man snorts- releasing a small chuckle, and even the priest can't help but crack a smile.

"Aye, 'ya laugh it up lads. But do 'ya mind gettin' the bloody woman off me?"

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you say that...usually you're quite fond of them on you." The small Dane says, teasingly.

"Har, har Sihtric 'ya right proper shite'- maybe 'ya ought to turn in 'ya blade for a life as a bloody jester eh?!"

I instinctively twist his arm harder at the sound of his voice.

Finan winces. "God fuckin'-"

The large man, and the Dane known as Sihtric laugh, and the priest in a manner of all seriousness looks to his friends- sighs and then looks to me.

"Milady, do you mind releasing this bloody imbecile from your entrapment so we can continue on our mission of ridding you and your neighbors of these godless Danes?"

I stare at the men suspiciously- my gaze running and surveying each one over.

"We mean you absolutely no harm." The priest continues.

Trusting this man of the cloth at his word, I release the Celt from my grasp. The man known as Finan winces from the pain in his arm and sits up rubbing at his shoulder.

At this point seeing that the group of men were more friend than foe, I begin to feel a tinge of guilt come over me, and I reach my hand down to the man Finan in order to help him up off the ground.

"Sorry...I didn't realize what had come over me."

He stares at me for a second- unsure of whether to take my hand or not, weighing up the options before finally deciding to grasp it and pull himself up.

"Aye, is that how 'ya treat those who come to save 'ya?" He says, still rubbing at his shoulder.

The large man (who I now gathered was the leader of this rag tag group) spoke out, "Beocca, you should take her into the forest to Osferth and the others. I fear this commotion has likely stirred our Danish friends from their slumber."

"Aye, I wager the element of surprise is now off the table." The priest replied.

The priest known as Beocca goes to grab my arm and lead me to safety, but I shake free from his grasp.

"No." I say- rather defiantly.

The large man turns and chuckles. "No?"

I glare at him. "Yes, I said no. If there is to be a fight than I intend to fucking be in it."

Finan scoffs. "Bloody woman is mad Uhtred, tell me 'ya aren't entertaining this notion?"

Uhtred smirks- a playful glint in his eye as he bores into me. "If the lady wishes to fight then who are we to dissuade her?"

"Uhtred, she looks but a child and doesn't even have a weapon..." The priest says- looking me up and down before turning back to Uhtred.

I scoff. "I AM NOT a child, and as for weapons I can make do without or find one along the way."

Uhtred laughs. "See, you heard her. She has it all planned- Beocca stop being such a mother hen."

At this point there's stirring in the camp and some of the men wake- talking amongst themselves in Danish.

"They heard us Uhtred. They are sending a patrol to see about the noise." Remarked Sihtric.

"It is time then- Sihtric, Beocca you come with me. Finan and...his new friend will go over to the far side of the camp and create a distraction."

Sihtric chuckles. "Try not to find yourself under the woman until after the battle."

I roll my eyes and scoff once again at the crude insinuation that the small Dane has yet again flung at me and Finan.

Finan shoots daggers at both Uhtred and Sihtric. The warrior Uhtred smiles cheekily at the Celt before turning towards the task at hand and advancing with the other men in tow.

Before Uhtred passes by me, he stops to bend down and whisper in my ear. "Try not to get killed little one." He says, smirking.

"You too." I shoot back at him, maintaining intense eye contact with the man who stood several heads taller than me.

He smiles, and his eyes briefly regard me- taking a moment to quickly scan me up and down before chuckling, and finally turning to leave with Sihtric and the priest Beocca.

I watch as the three men disappear from sight and turn to Finan- awaiting orders from the Celt who was seemingly put in charge of this mission.

He sighs heavily. "Aye, well...let's get this thing 'fuckin over 'wit then eh?"

 

* * *

 

Finan leads us over silently to the back side of the camp where the supplies and stores are being kept. He turns to me with dark eyes and a serious expression. I could see his face clearer now that it was closer and illuminated slightly by the light of the moon.

(Now that I could actually see him properly, I took the man known as Finan in fully, and I began to regard his fine features...his large but lean muscled frame, his dark eyes, and short messy black hair that looked to have once been tightly shaved and cropped...his rather perfectly symmetrical face, and his gloriously thick dark beard that did great favors to his face by adding a hint of rugged masculinity to it. It was safe to say that this guy was fucking gorgeous...I mean sure he looked like a medieval hipster, seemed a tad ridiculous, and also seemed like a bit of a dickhead at first glance...but damn was he certainly fine as hell.)

He snaps his fingers at my face to get my attention since my mind was obviously beginning to drift elsewhere.

"Huh?" I say, looking like a dazed idiot.

"Aye, lass there's only four of them out right now, so we ought to be able to take 'em real easy without wakin' the others. Do 'ya know roughly how many there are in total?"

"Uh, about 15 or so give or take."

"Ah, it's a small party then...that should make an easier time of it."

I scoff. "15, that's easy mode for you?"

"Counting the pissers' we already took out- 'Aye, brings our number down some." He smiles cheekily at me before continuing. "I'm just glad it's not 20 or 30 Danes. If it were then I'd probably manage to start breakin' a sweat."

While he says this to me, I can't help but crack a small smile at just how full of himself he is. He continues to smirk wolfishly at me, and I begin to feel a slight blush emerging upon my face and a small flutter in the pit of my stomach.

"Alright, lass 'ya ready to do this?"

"Do what exactly?"

He merely shoots me a cheeky little side glance before taking out a small piece of flint and kindling from his pocket; and beginning to set the supplies and stores ablaze.

"Well, that works I guess..."

Smoke rises and the flames grow- Finan smiles, grabbing me by the hand as we quickly run from the blaze.

The distraction had its intended effect it would seem, because now there were several men yelling and running around camp like headless chickens trying to put out the growing fire. Uhtred and his men took advantage of the chaos, and slowly began to pick off the Danes one by one.

This plan had seemed solid enough- that is until Tjorvi awoke and upon emerging out of his tent had spotted Uhtred and his men.

"Give me your sword!" I yelled over to Finan, my eyes narrowing on Tjorvi's figure in the distance.

"My sword? Are 'ya bloody daft woman?! I'm not givin' 'ya my sword."

"A dagger, a blade, anything I can kill Tjorvi with- I'LL TAKE ANYTHING!"

Upon seeing Tjorvi my blood ran both hot and cold simultaneously, and I found myself clenching my fists ready to finally kill this man or any man who dared cross my path or get in my way. Finan took notice of my rising anger and the direction that it was aimed towards.

He sighed heavily before saying, "Aye, I can spare 'ya a dagger but that's it. And 'ya have to follow me first and avoid doing anythin' bloody reckless or stupid that'll get us all killed..."

I stare ahead at Tjorvi, my mind consumed with vengeance. Finan snaps his fingers at my face again to get my attention- "Are those terms acceptable lass?"

"Fine. I'll hold off on doing anything stupid...for now."

Finan rolls his eyes, and sighs once again. "Great. That's all I ask of 'ya lass."

He hands me the dagger, the weight of it feeling good in my hands.

"Remember 'girlie restraint...don't be doin' anythin' stupid now..."

"Stupid...I thought that was more your mantra." I shoot back, sardonically.

He scoffs, looking part injured part bemused.

"Just...just fuckin' follow behind me woman, will 'ya?"

I bow and gesture dramatically for him to lead the way, and we both simultaneously roll our eyes at one another.

Quickly, we set off to join Uhtred and the others who are now engaged in full-fledged combat with the Danes. By the time we reach them they have luckily already managed to cut the Danes numbers down by a sizable amount- seemingly affording us an advantage. Finan and I leap into battle with the others, and we are holding our own quite remarkably despite less than ideal numbers.

Finan is then immediately set upon by two large hulking Danes- he seems to be managing fine however, despite the disadvantage of size and number he faces; and he even manages to shoot me a cheeky little wink whilst running one of the men through.

I look over to Tjorvi who is barking out orders to the others and grabbing his sword- (correction, Aldwin's sword- MY FUCKING SWORD!).

This fills me with even more fury...and while I promised Finan that I wouldn't do anything stupid...that plan went _completely_ tits up. And, I immediately found myself holding the small borrowed blade and charging at the man. Tjorvi looks over and spots me just in time to easily defect the blow and knocks the dagger from my hands- he is now pointing my own sword at me and advancing forward.

"Elena..." He says my name bemusedly in almost a singsong way. "Tsk, tsk, tsk Elena..." His smirk grows and his eyes seemingly twinkle with glee.

I growl angrily at him and this seems to just amuse him even more.

"Naughty, naughty Elena...to misbehave so..."

Finan, kicks a dead Dane free from his blade and looks over towards me now at the pointed end of a sword.

"What did I fuckin' tell her...sweet fuckin' Christ, she'll be the death of us..." Finan mumbles to himself and sighs in annoyance, before heading over to me and Tjorvi.

"Fuck you Tjorvi!"

"Ahhh...I love the way my name sounds coming from your lips, but I'll admit this isn't exactly the way I wished to hear it." Tjorvi replies.

"Aye, 'girlie quite a knack for findin' trouble 'ya seem to have here don't 'cha?" Finan interjects.

"Fuck you too Finan." I growl.

"Lookin' like 'ya could use a wee bit of help is all I'm sayin'..." Finan says- flicking blood off his sword and readying it towards Tjorvi.

"I got this Finan- he's mine!" I snarl.

The Celt laughs and shakes his head at me. "Aye, I can see that...lovely tactic 'ya be takin'- body at the pointy end and all."

Tjorvi watches our exchange- greatly entertained. "I am glad to see you have claimed me sweet 'koli..." The Dane chuckles before continuing. "So, these are your friends then I take it?" He replies bemusedly. "Mmmm...maybe, another reunion is in order then eh? But only because I like you my 'koli."

I spit at him and he laughs before yelling something in Danish over to a few men.

Following Tjorvi's words two men disappear into a tent- only to remerge soon after strong arming and dragging a young Juliette forward.

"Give her to me." Tjorvi says to the men.

I seethe and make towards him, but he presses me back with the tip of the blade at my throat.

Juliette doesn't even fight them at this point; and she is quiet, distant...empty. She looks like a zombie...the girl who had once been so full of life, was not the girl who stood before me now...the girl they had before me who was barely able to stand atop her feet- this girl...this girl was basically a ghost. This couldn't be Juliette- my Juliette.

Emotionless, Juliette limps uncomfortably forward- being effectively dragged and/or prodded by the men and then thrown into Tjorvi's waiting embrace.

Looking at Juliette straight in front of me now, had confirmed my worst fears; and I see to my own horror the extent of the assault upon her persons- her dress is torn in several places and a large patch of blood shines through her white shift from between her legs.

(I am going to kill them. I am going to kill them all.)

She stares at me blankly in a daze- eyes clouded over.

"Elena...?" She weakly mummers.

"Juliette!" I yell, and Tjorvi cackles while holding her tightly against his frame.

"It's a shame really, I didn't manage to have a go riding our young Juliette here- she looks like she was most fun."

"You fucking son of a bitch! I am going to fucking kill you and every last one of your fucking men!"

He laughs even louder, and then shushes down to a now shaking and trembling Juliette- stroking her head softly and kissing her hair. "You're upsetting our Juliette here, Elena."

"Fuck you." I'm choking back the tears in my own eyes at this point and my voice is cracking.

(For the first time in my life I'm legitimately scared...more scared than when I arrived here even; and I'm scared not for myself but for the only one I have left in life. I had failed to protect Juliette before and the most horrible thing that could happen to a person had happened to her. I wanted to throw up all over again because of the mix of anxiety and guilt taking root within me.)

Finan, I had almost forgotten was there entirely- because for the first time since meeting him, he was actually quiet and serious for a change...I only remembered that he had been there because soon he and I were joined by Uhtred and the others.

Uhtred, comes up beside me sword drawn and covered in blood, he is followed by Sihtric, and then Beocca.

"It appears we were missing all the fun here?" Uhtred says, as he and the others begin to encircle what appears to be the last of the three Danes standing.

Having them surrounded- Uhtred speaks in a demanding and rough tone. "Let the girl go and we will make your death quick and worthy of Valhalla."

Tjorvi smirks at Uhtred before replying. "Valhalla is not my fate Dane slayer...as for the girl, I don't want her...anyone can have her." He shoves Juliette playfully into the arms of his second- the man who had brutally and repeatedly violated her.

My nostrils flared and I growled upon seeing the vile man who had touched her. He held Juliette tightly against him, pressing a dagger to her throat while he grabbed at and fondled her small breasts with his free hand. She winced and whined under his grasp, tears running down her face. Tjorvi smirks- continuing to push his blade at me.

"I want her. The 'koli here. Then I shall take my leave and bother you no longer Uhtred Ragnarson."

(It appears Uhtred had built quite a reputation for himself since he was seemingly known by all but me.)

"I cannot give you her, for she is not mine to give- but I promise you I can give you a quick death."

Tjorvi pretends to weigh the options. "Mmm...no deal."

"I'll go!" I yell out, surprising even myself that I had so suddenly and so willing volunteered myself for tribute.

"Wha-what you cannot milady, we have them surrounded..." The priest known as Beocca sputters out to me.

"Aye, listen to the father lass...or did 'ya forget again that I told 'ya not to do anythin' stupid."

Tjorvi's eyes twinkle and gleam seemingly amused by this whole display. Sihtric makes a move forward towards the man holding Juliette and the man pushes the dagger down further into her neck drawing a pinprick of blood.

"Sihtric stand back!" Uhtred commands.

Panicked at what I just saw happen and for Juliette's fate, I raise my hands up in the universal sign of surrender and slowly push further towards Tjorvi. He nods and begins to back up withdrawing the blade from its close proximity to my neck.

"Jus-just give back Juliette and I'll do whatever you want! Just let her go!"

Tjorvi at this moment makes a distinct clicking noise and from the lining of the trees comes his horse and several more men. He turns to the man holding Juliette and smiles.

"Let her go." He says, merrily.

The man acknowledges his commanders order, and with that he draws his blade deeply across Juliette's neck and slits her throat. A pool of blood gushing out and forming a frothy foam upwards into in her mouth, before she drops to the ground with a loud thud.

Uhtred and his men snarl at the Danes, and I scream the loudest most blood curdling scream of my life...the likes of which would put a banshee to disgrace.

Tjorvi makes a move to grab me and pull me towards his horse, but I leap free from his grasp and forward towards Juliette and the man who had just murdered her. The sounds of clashing steel can be heard behind me- as Uhtred battles with Tjorvi; and Finan, Beocca, and Sihtric with the other men.

(Now what I remember next is rather choppy and fragmented...but, I remember before I went into a kind of reaver rampage mode, that my chest burned and that there was a loud humming and buzzing in the air- then I remember dry lightning lighting up the sky above. It was similar elementally to that fated night when I had traveled back- but alas it wasn't a perfect replica of events, because I still found myself stuck here in this shitty century.)

I suppose at some point during all this mayhem I must have pulled a dagger sheathed at Sihtric's side while he had fought...because I somehow managed to be clutching a blade tightly in my hand after passing by his fighting form. Also, another thing I have managed to remember quite vividly in fact- is leaping upon the man who had killed Juliette, and then struggling with him for control. I also remember stabbing him, and I remember the knife being flung from my hands. Then I remember straddling him...then I remember repeatedly punching his face in. And, I remember his face looking unrecognizable beneath me- swollen and covered in blood from the onslaught of my fists. I remember him slashing me in the arm with his own blade...and I remember that I then managed to somehow disarm him of it and began using it on him- stabbing him repeatedly; over and over and over. And over. And over again.

Then I remember that Father Beocca came over- eventually pulling a kicking, screaming, blood soaked, hysterical, and hyperventilating psychotic version of myself off of the clearly dead man.

Then I remember...well...nothing. Absolutely nothing. Blackness. It was all blank.

 

* * *

 

I came to sometime later in the day, and I was in a completely different campsite this time.

The sun was shining brightly, and I was still more or less catatonic...completely and utterly catatonic in fact- staring blankly at the ashes of an extinguished campfire. The group of men I had now inadvertently fallen in with had apparently given me some time to myself- the time I most assuredly needed after the trauma of the night...after Juliette...and after taking my first life.

The men largely ignored me, and took to their own duties of readying the horses and sending Osferth (there was another holy man travelling with them I had later learned) on ahead to escort the villagers back to the remnants of their burnt out homes and hovels, towards safety- or at the very least the illusion of safety.

I sat there in silence while people busied themselves all around me, just staring ahead- the minutes having rolled into hours by that point. Blood still stained my hands and my overall figure (and I wagered I probably looked like something out of Carrie).

Tjorvi had managed to escape and flee on horseback after being disarmed by Uhtred- this most assuredly bringing him great shame as a Dane...so that brought me a semblance of comfort at least...but I had still killed a man...and the thought that I was capable of such brutality and savagery weighed on me and my conscience...sure he deserved it tenfold- I wasn't debating the morality or value of the act itself towards that particular individual, but rather my capability in carrying out such an act. It had been instinctive, it had been easy, and that's what terrified me, and what weighed the most heavily upon me. Then there was Juliette.

I thought of her laugh, and her smiling face while she danced and ran through the fields beckoning me to chase after her...when she was picking flowers and would braid them into her hair and into mine...or when she'd pull pranks on her father Aldwin by hiding the tools he needed for the forge...I thought of her humming the tunes that I had taught her while she helped make supper...I thought of tucking her in at night and looking down at her cute round face while she slept- she smiled while she slept and her dimples showed, and she smacked her lips; it was adorable. Was. Past tense...

I'd never see those dimples or that smile or hear that laugh ever again...

I saw in my minds-eye her cold lifeless form and her face as she laid crumpled and bloody on the ground, her bright blue eyes fogged and glassed over- now grey. I drew in a sharp intake of breath...probably the first breath I had taken in hours.

She was dead because of me. I had failed. I had failed not only Juliette and Aldwin, but I had failed myself. The promise had been broken.

 

 

 


	10. "Scorched Earth"

 

* * *

 

When I started to stir and awake from my catatonic state; I began to actually look around at the encampment that I was now in, taking in not only my new surroundings but my new companions as well.

I was still in a daze and honestly fucking exhausted both physically and emotionally...but I was also surprisingly calm? I know it sounds crazy, especially given everything that had just happened to me...but I found that there was this sense of weird almost disturbing level of calmness- not just in my current surroundings but also with this group of men as well. It honestly perturbed me at first; because I knew that it was unnatural and illogical to feel like this given everything I had been through, and especially given that I had no idea who these men even were.

As strange as it was (especially being that I had literally just met them...and well...their first impression of me was likely not an ideal one to say the least...), I felt as if I had already known these men my whole life. It was indescribable and almost felt like a kind of déjà vu...but being around them felt natural...like it felt right...it felt as if something was clicking into place.

I didn't like to put much stock in fate merely as a matter of personal principle...but this- this felt like it was meant to be...like I felt that I was supposed to be in the company of these men. I began to think whether my stumble backwards in time and all of my misfortune had been leading up to this point...up to these men. I didn't want to believe it...and maybe this was all just some kind of post trauma savior adoration thing...but maybe- just maybe it wasn't?

Maybe fate did exist and maybe she was indeed a cruel and fickle bitch...and maybe I had been cast the role of plaything and toy in her game. Would I then rebel against lady fate? Would I curse her for all the heartache and misfortune that she had afflicted, and damn her for taking away all that I held dear? Or would I accept my lot in this new life and take her stage and perform the lines as dictated and written? It was a real philosophical and existential conundrum I found myself in...and well, it fucking sucked.

I looked around the camp, and at everyone busying themselves with either one task or another. My eyes immediately had shifted towards the priest Father Beocca who had been in the midst of digging a grave. It hit me again like the crashing of waves. The grave was for young Juliette. Juliette was dead. Soon she would be buried. And soon she would be forgotten.

Nothing could be done to change it, to take it back (no matter how much I desperately wanted to change it or have it all be unreal). It had happened. It was real. And the outcome of this horrific event was chronicled in the book of history and time; it was signed, and the ink was dry. There was no going back.

Father Beocca had stopped what he was doing by now and looked over at me with concern drawn tightly upon his face. He beckoned Finan over and whispered something to him; then Finan nodded gravely at the priest before heading over to me.

"How're 'ya doin' lass?"

"I-I'm covered in blood..." I said (as if it hadn't been obvious).

Finan smiles warmly but weakly towards me, as if uncertain what to say. "Tis definitely a noticeable thing aye...but, we didn't wish to uh- well after everythin' that had happen' and all...the father and what not thought it best we leave 'ya to 'ya thoughts for a while. Father's no stranger to loss 'ya see and- "

"Is there a stream I can quickly wash up in before we leave?" I interrupt him by saying- looking down at my currently bloodstained hands.

"Aye, there is. I'll take 'ya there, but 'ya need to make it quick lass...as we've delayed enough as is. Not to be sayin' that all unkind and the like...but..."

"No, I understand. It's okay." I nod at him and beckon him to lead the way.

We get to the small stream and for the first time I fully take in my reflection (I looked fucking terrifying, covered in blood, soot, dirt and all manner of things). I quickly took to cleaning my hands, face, and neck.

"Why didn't the priest come and speak with me? You said he was no stranger to loss."

"Hmm? Beg 'ya pardon lass?"

"The father- Beocca? He sent you instead."

Finan chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ahhh...well I imagined he thought I'd be able to raise 'ya spirits some- since I've apparently the knack for paintin' smiles on the faces of women...so it's either that- or..." He laughs again. "It's either that or 'ya scared the living devil out of him and he sent me forward as a kind of sacrificial lamb."

I smile to myself at his words, although it is a meek sort of smile, and I begin to wring out the blood that had splattered onto me from my coat/outer tunic. "I do look a fright don't I...? And I imagine the events of last night were certainly unusual...I've- I'm usually...I mean I've never been like that before. I've never done that before."

"Aye, we weren't sure if we were lookin' at a woman or a demon sent from hell..." He says, smirking.

I look up at him seriously for a moment- wanting to say something more and open up...but unfortunately, I lost all resolve and I completely chickened out. I casted my eyes downward, unable to even muster the courage to meet this man's gaze or even allow myself to be comforted by his chipper manner and cheeky attitude. I wanted to forget...to be comforted...to have my spirits raised...I wanted to be happy if only for a moment...but it all felt so wrong...so betraying.

Once again, I was becoming consumed by waves of sorrow. Silence penetrated the atmosphere around us, and I focused primarily on trying to rid as much blood from my person as humanly possible.

"Never killed a man before?" Finan asks, his voice quiet and serious.

I nod gravely.

Finan shifts uncomfortably where he stands and looks down to the ground. "Ahhh, look I'm sorry lass I-I didn't mean to upset 'ya...and I'm-I'm sorry about your friend the girl."

"Juliette...her name was Juliette."

"Juliette..." He repeats softly. "She was important to 'ya...?"

"More than you can imagine..."

"Ahh...I'm sorry for...well for everythin'."

"So am I." I whisper softly to myself.

"It...well, I know it's not any consolation to 'ya- but it does get easier."

"Which part?"

"The killing- all parts of it really...the doin' part and the losin' part."

We sit for the next few minutes in silence. I contemplate his words and think about what he has said and the implications of it. _It gets easier. It will eventually become easier. It'll hurt less. I will someday heal._

"Erm, are 'ya ready to be headin' back now girlie?"

"I'd like to bury her back home next to her father if that's alright?" I interject- snapping back up to meet his gaze.

"Aye. That can be arranged...I'll have a talk with the father."

I get up and sling my wet coat/outer tunic over my shoulder. I march up to Finan and look up at the man for but a moment before throwing my arms around him in a kind of awkward hug. He immediately stiffens at the sudden and surprising touch that this gesture and physical contact must have given before gradually relaxing into it.

"Thanks, Finan." I say- my head resting against his chest.

"Think nothin' of it lass really..." He responds, softly.

I pull out of the hug and we stand there for a moment just looking at each other- lost in one another's eyes. His gaze is intense, searching almost...as if he's not sure how to approach me or what to think of me yet.

I start to feel hot and I can feel the threat of a blush slowly creeping onto my face; I begin to feel incredibly awkward and self-conscious in this particular moment and in the presence of this particular man. I soon cough and avert my eyes- breaking eye contact and hoping to dispel some of the intense awkwardness that I feel.

"We...uhh...we should probably head back now...to uhh camp..."

He coughs and averts his eyes as well. "Aye, they'll be waitin' for us. So, right...uhh- we ought to get a move on then." 

 

 

 


	11. "New Beginnings"

 

* * *

 

We make our way back to camp and after having spoken to father Beocca- who was already half finished with digging the grave for Juliette (and building up quite a sweat in the process of it), groaned in annoyance at Finan's request. It wasn't until father Beocca looked over at me and I suppose realized that this wasn't so much a request on my behalf as it was a demand from me directly (me- the grief stricken previously blood-soaked psychopath) that his face softened a bit and he nodded his head in agreement. They had Juliette's body wrapped and prepared, and then attached to the back of a spare horse.

We would soon be on our way, and while the men took the opportunity to pack up the rest of camp- I decided to wander around a little bit. I made my way towards the horses and counted six horses total. One for Uhtred, one for Sihtric, one for Finan, and one each for each one of the holy men, and a spare one I assumed was now being used for supplies...and well of course Juliette's body.

I approached the steeds and began looking at the small group of horses apprehensively (understandably considering my last encounter with a horse didn't end all that well), and one looked over to me and snorted- seemingly reassuring me a little. I began to stroke and pet it's nose; and this calmed me a little bit and brought me a kind of momentary inner peace- if only for a few seconds.

Then everyone began to mount up. I was unsure really of which horse I was to ride, so I decided to just hop atop the one I had been petting. Once I was topside and had begun to situate myself upon the horse's saddle, I heard a cough from behind me.

"Ahem..."

I whip around to see Finan staring up at me (Well, turns out that that particular horse belonged to my insufferable new pal Finan...the pal that had been so annoying- yet comforting- yet also made me feel weird and awkward all at the same time...oh, and the one that I had just shared the most cringe worthy awkward hug moment with too...so there's that folks as well).

"It appears ya've made yourself mighty comfortable up on my steed there lass. But, do 'ya mind scooting down a bit so I can get on?"

"I'm not riding with you."

He chuckles looking over at his mounted companions all around him, before turning back to me.

"Well, it's either me or you ride with your friend back there." He says pointing to the horse carrying Juliette's corpse.

My face darkens at the thought of riding with my dead friend- nay my family...and I gulp loudly, essentially swallowing down a choked sort of cry. (Harsh you Celtic bastard harsh...like seriously kind of a low blow there mate.)

I decided to not respond verbally to him- for my voice would most assuredly crack. I shook my head no and then nodded in agreement to the previous suggestion that he had made.

He looks to the horse and then stares at me long and hard. "Well are you going to move back?"

I take the small moment to collect myself and rebuild my confidence a bit...and during that particular moment I felt an odd little surge of defiance spark up in me. (Basically, I wasn't inherently opposed to the idea of sharing a horse- especially not with Finan...I just really didn't want to ride bitch.)

"You can ride behind me you know..." I say looking down at him from atop the horse.

He scoffs at the idea and I hear Sihtric and Uhtred snort and let out a chuckle.

(I finally somewhat understood the context and humor of this situation, and I found myself rolling my eyes in response to it- I really wasn't in the mood for this macho male bullshit and couldn't see why it was such an issue riding behind me...it wouldn't kill Finan or his apparently fragile masculinity to ride in the back...so it had to be that...or he was like me and just really didn't want to ride bitch.)

Finan pauses, thinking for a moment before smirking cheekily.

"Alright, then I suppose if 'ya want me holding tightly onto you...then lass I'll be more than happy to oblige."

He says this in a flirty manner- no doubt in an attempt to both simultaneously charm/cheer me up, while also having the added benefit of trying to save face with his Bros.

I groan externally before immediately scooting over to make room for him on the horse.

(The idea of anyone; especially a man; touching me right now was not something I was particularly comfortable with especially right after everything with Tjorvi...I mean I had hugged Finan that much was true...but in that situation I had been the one who initiated it...I had the power...I had been the one to touch him, not the other way around.)

So, alas I relented and relegated myself to riding bitch. Finan smiles up at me in the most face punch-able manner, and then hoists himself up onto the horse- taking the reins in hand and clicking the horse forward to move and catch up with the rest of the party.

 

* * *

 

We rode for a while in silence, with me holding firmly onto the sides of the saddle so as to not fall off.

"...'Ya know it's easier holding onto me than to the sides there."

"I'm fine really."

"I really don't mind- in fact I relish the touch of a beautiful woman."

Even though I couldn't see his face I knew he had that stupid cheeky grin plastered all over it- I could just feel it. I found myself inadvertently blushing (again) because of him, and I was ashamed at myself because the second that smooth-talking bastard had opened his mouth, I had also found that my stomach had begun flipping involuntarily as well...

(He was smooth alright- dangerously smooth...and I didn't know at first whether or not I was annoyed or flattered by him...I hated the confusion he created in me...and I hated the physical effect he seemed to be having on me as well.)

I quickly pushed all thoughts, confusing feelings, and physical reactions aside and tried to just focus on the ride ahead- effectively building a wall up to hopefully defend myself against his charming ways.

Finan and his oftentimes flirty banter...was I'll admit a thankful moment of reprieve from my sorrow, dark thoughts, and existential angst. So, for that I was at the very least appreciative towards Finan I suppose for the distraction he had provided at least...but a small part of me also really was beginning to hate how lightly he seemed to always take everything and saw his repeated banter and jokes as a kind of trivialization of my pain and of the death of my close friend.

(Now, I know that I was largely jumping to conclusions and getting rather emotional over something that wasn't even there...and I knew that wasn't initially or even intentionally the case here...but damn if it didn't feel like it to me in this particular given moment.)

I sighed to myself in defeat, and decided in the end after much internal debate that he was right, and that it was probably the smarter option to just hold onto him so as to not fall from the horse completely and bash my head open (again me and horses- not the best track record).

"I'm not doing this for you by the way...so don't get excited." I said, wrapping my arms around his midsection.

(And fuck what a firm midsection it was...goddamn it I hadn't even realized how toned he actually was when I had hugged him earlier...but now it was rather apparent to me...and I'll admit it made me feel all the more awkward and flustered. _What has been felt...cannot be unfelt._ Now, I am well aware that this was not the time nor the place for such thoughts- but, to be honest I didn't know what the hell was wrong with my brain or my emotions because I was running the gambit over here and was all over the damn place.)

I didn't entirely understand how I could go from pissed off and murderous, forlorn and melancholic, to completely playfully platonic and grateful, yet also lustful and pretty much thirsty as fuck all within the span of a few hours...it all felt manic as fuck...and I was pretty much really beginning to question my sanity over here...but, even though I was currently a passenger on a rather manic-like emotional rollercoaster ride of my own confused and utterly misguided creation- I did know one thing I had to get the fuck ahold of myself because if I didn't it would be my complete undoing.

 

* * *

 

Finan's POV:

 

I felt her hands gently wrap around my torso, and oddly enough I found myself smiling rather a bit smugly to myself at her touch...I had indeed won this round it seems.

"I'm not doing this for you by the way...so don't get excited." She said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Aye, duly noted milady..." I said- turning my head slightly round to look at her.

She was a strange looking woman that was for sure and she didn't bloody well look like any Saxon, Dane, or even Irish woman I'd ever seen. She had an attractive face that was surprisingly symmetrical and also rounded; her cheekbones were high set and her face was framed by rather long, thick, messy dark hair- her eyes were both big and doe like yet also almond shaped, and they were the color of light honey. And if you looked rather closely at her face, she had the slight traces of sun-kissed freckles upon her.

She was definitely far from a fair woman as well, as she was rather dark in both her actions and in her appearance alike- no she wasn't entirely dark and gloomy in her disposition or her demeanor...in fact I found her to be quite pleasant in a strange sort of way. And, despite the vicious murder I had bared witness to her committing the first night we had met...I didn't think any less of her, for she certainly wasn't some kind of evil craven or the likes of all that...she was just hurting...and different, and perhaps a little bit odd. (But, hell with the company I keep who was I to fucking judge.)

She was indeed foreign, and strange, and quite exotic...especially for this fair isle. She wasn't blacken like the Africans or even a dusky and warm brown color like the Moors I had heard tales of, but she was however a light earthen like color- her skin dark yet creamy looking...a kind of strange and darker hued olive-like complexion I suppose it could be best described as. Either way it was a look she had, which was quite alien to these lands; so, I wagered on her appearance alone she didn't originally hail from these parts.

Not to mention her accent was misplaced- sure she spoke the same language, but her way of speaking and the manner of her speech was different from anything I had ever heard...she used odd phrases and strange words I was not familiar with, and her way of enunciating words was peculiar. Though for all her mis happened strangeness, I found myself slowly becoming curious about her and oddly fascinated by all her peculiarities. Although, she was odd...and I mean absolutely barkin' mad odd...I had to admit that I also found her quite alluring and charming for some unknown reason. She was a weird peculiar mix of terrifying yet endearing and I wasn't quite sure what to make of the combination to be truthful. I mean it's not every day that a woman puts you on your ass without you even intending for her to, to begin with...aye, outside of purely consensual bedroom antics I wasn't really used to a woman overpowering me and certainly not a woman as small as the one seated behind me.

"So, milady from where do 'ya hail? I'm presuming this isn't exactly your native homeland now is it lass?"

She began to shift uncomfortably in the saddle behind me. "I'm not your lass or your milady so lay the fuck off already." She barks back at me.

I'm taken a bit off guard by her sudden shift in temperament. "Right, well would 'ya listen to the mouth here on this one Sihtric." I say turning to my friend, who then snorts out a small chuckle.

I laugh as well before continuing. "Well, fine what the hell would 'ya have us call 'ya then?"

 

* * *

 

He asked where I was from and I guess that must have hit some kind of nerve because I instantaneously got perturbed. The question had the unfortunate and unintended effect of reminding me of my home and my friends and family, and how I'd likely never see them or it again; and how what I'd had come to settle into and call home and family was just violently ripped from me. He then asked what he should call me. I could give him my name sure...simple enough...but I didn't feel like the same Elena anymore. Correction: I didn't want to be Elena anymore. Elena was dead, that name died upon Juliette's lips, and I couldn't bare for anyone to call me that anymore. So, I decidedly laid the name Elena to rest with Juliette; and decided to give him my last name instead.

"Wren. My name is Wren."

"Aye, pleasure to make your acquaintance Wren." He smiles and chuckles, pressing the horse forward to join Uhtred at the front. 

 

 

 


	12. "A Burial & An Oath"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: This is a long and angsty one folks...]

 

* * *

  

After half a day's ride we had arrived at the burnt-out ruins of my former village. We had ridden all through the night and it was early morning now. There was a rolling fog over the fields leading into the village, and it made the atmosphere of the place look most unsettling. The village had a forlorn kind of look to it and it radiated feelings of loneliness and death.

We were greeted at the entrance of the small village by a few villagers and a young monk by the name of Osferth- who I had been told had ridden ahead in order to guide the other villagers that had been also taken captive home. Several of the captives I had found out had ultimately decided to leave; effectively deciding to take the risk and venture across the border deeper into Wessex, with the hope of carving out a new life and finding more safety further away from the borders of East Anglia. Several of the rescued villagers however, had decided to stay and rebuild. Those villagers with the help of young Osferth had already begun clearing the rubble and had already started to build up temporary structures that could serve as shelters.

I respected the resilience of these people to rebuild, to fight for their homes...to fight for normalcy...but I also equally respected those who had made the tough decision to leave in order to start over and make a new life from scratch. This would be a decision that I would soon need to make myself...and it was a decision I was starting to believe that I wouldn't be entirely prepared to make.

The young monk (or Baby Monk as I heard Finan refer to him as) stood outside nervously fidgeting as we drew nearer on horseback.

"Osferth." Uhtred greeted him, quickly dismounting his horse and pulling the small monk into a brotherly sort of hug.

"Milord." The monk seemed surprised by the sudden contact and stiffened, before Uhtred ultimately pulled him away somewhere to discuss some sort of important matter.

The other men began to dismount their horses in kind, and Finan promptly hopped off of his. The Celt had given me no warning though, so it was rather jarring since my arms were still wrapped around his waist...the sudden departure of what I had previously been holding onto nearly sent me spiraling forward onto the horse.

Finan stood there below me with a hand outstretched and a cheeky snide little smirk (one that I really really wish I could just slap off of his ridiculously handsome bearded face).

"Milady..." He said- hand outstretched to help me from the horse.

"It's Wren. And I am more than capable of getting off of a horse by myself you know."

His cheeky little smile widens, and he motions for me to lead the way and show him that I can in fact dismount the horse solo.

I huff, taking up the challenge that this smug faced man has seemingly posed- and with effortless grace hop off of the horse onto the ground below.

Well...at least in my mind it was graceful...in reality it was far from it.

What had begun as an effortless and graceful descent down from my mounted position atop the horse, had ended with my right foot twisting somehow and getting tangled up the wrong way in the stirrup...making what should have been a quite simple and quite easy descent down onto the ground below into an instance of embarrassing catastrophe.

My foot having been caught, had meant that I had stumbled forward into the arms of the shit-grinning Celt.

"Aye, definitely can see 'ya capability there lass." He says sarcastically with a smug little grin.

I glare at the man and quickly remove myself from his arms. I feel hot and my face is flushed red with the embarrassment of it all.

The worse part of it all besides Finan's smug grin and snide sarcasm and jokes was the fact that the embrace of his arms had been so infuriatingly secure and comforting...his body had been warm and enclosing...and his smell had been musky but sweet. It was all in all an experience that was mortifying and humiliating and one that I was increasingly angry at myself for deriving physical pleasure from.

I cough uncomfortably.

"I-I'm fine...uhh...thanks for catching me...I guess." I quickly turn away and head towards the main group of men, hopefully hiding how flustered I am.

I head over to Sihtric and Beocca...and before I can greet them...my attention is immediately drawn to a sword attached to Sihtric's steed...

"What the hell is that?" I say to Sihtric- looking at the sword.

Sihtric looks around confused before finally realizing what I'm on about.

"Oh, that? That is a prize I took from the Dane Tjorvi-"

"I know what it is Sihtric."

"It's a beauty no?"

"I know it is, because it's my fucking sword."

Sihtric looks even more confused.

"Sihtric, it's my fucking sword. I'd like it back please."

My face is determined, and I've not taken my eyes from the blade.

"How do I even know it is yours?"

"You want a fucking demonstration?"

Sihtric laughs, and Beocca's brows knit in concern.

"Look, Tjorvi took it from me after one of his men knocked me out."

Sihtric's expression still remains skeptical.

"I had it, and two pairs of daggers with me before I was taken...the sword- the sword was made by someone very special to me...I'd appreciate it back. If you don't believe me ask any of the remaining villagers here- they can tell you about Aldwin the blacksmith and the sword he refused to sell, they can also tell you about me- his apprentice."

Beocca stares at Sihtric like a disapproving father.

Sihtric looks from the priest then to me, rolls his eyes, and sighs. "Fine. I will see if your story checks out...if it does, then the blade I shall...reluctantly see about returning."

"Ignore Sihtric milady. We will both check the nature of your claims- and I promise you, should they prove true, that the sword shall be returned to you."

He nods to me, and I nod back in kind- thanking him. Sihtric turns and leaves with Beocca in tow.

I watch as the two men disappear from my sight, and before I know it, I am left on my own. Or at least I thought I was alone until I heard an annoying accented voice pipe up behind me.

"A female smithy eh?" Chimes in Finan who had apparently managed to overhear tidbits of the previous conversation.

I roll my eyes at the comment and the man that it is coming from.

"Now, that I find rather unlikely."

"Why, because I'm a woman?" I bite back at him.

"Nah, because 'ya so small girlie." He says to me, smirking.

I huff. "I'm not small- I'm petite!"

"Oh, is that a fancy way of sayin' small?" He teases.

"Need I remind you that this _small_ girl put you on your ass."

At this point we are joined by Uhtred and the young monk Osferth, both of which let out a chuckle.

"She has you there Finan." Says Uhtred.

"Pff, the lass only had me because I wasn' expectin' it. She had surprise that's all."

"I had the jump on you because you're a big bumbling ogre of a man." I reply.

Uhtred cackles and even the seemingly shy and well-mannered Osferth has difficulty stifling a laugh.

"He's not that big milady...despite what he may boast." Uhtred teases- shooting me a cheeky little wink.

"Oi!" Finan says pointing a finger to a laughing Uhtred and Osferth.

I laugh. "I had never doubted that point Uhtred- but thank you for clarification on the matter."

Finan whips his head round back to me and points.

"And 'ya! I'll have 'ya bloody well know girlie that they here call me _Finan the Agile_ \- and that name doesn't come 'wit out a reason 'ya know."

I scoff. "Pffsh, is it a misnomer?"

Finan looks baffled. "A mis- a misnom- what?"

"A misnomer. A misnomer is a name that acts as a description that is incorrectly applied to a thing...or in this case a person."

The other men cackle and Finan looks even more confused.

"It's usually applied before the true nature of the thing...or in this case person- is known. So, basically you being described as _agile_ can be a misnomer...an incorrect description that was perhaps made before someone realized that you are- In fact...not _agile_...at all."

"Wha- what the bloody hell are 'ya even on about?"

I sigh. "I'm questioning the validity of your claim of being  _agile_."

"It appears good Finan that the lady here has you on wits." Replies a shy Osferth- coughing to hide a small chuckle.

"That doesn't seem like that hard of a task to do...I can't imagine there was much wit there to begin with." I say, teasing.

Uhtred laughs wholeheartedly and walks by to give me a small pat on the back. "I like you _'koli_...you are most interesting. Your tongue and wit is as sharp as any blade- and you seemed to have managed the near impossible feat of turning our friend Finan here mute."

"Was my pleasure lord." I say giving a weak smile and a kind of failed half-assed curtesy.

Uhtred just laughs and shakes his head.

"Oh, umm...milord about- well, about...the...the burial."

Uhtred raises his hand up to silence me.

"Don't worry about that. Your friend is going to be taken care of- I've let Osferth know of the details, and he has offered the aid of both himself and a few of the other villagers here. She will be laid to rest in the most Christian of ways I assure you."

"And her father...?" My voice slightly cracks. "Aldwin, the blacksmith. The villagers here will know of him...his...his remains should still be inside their home."

Uhtred raises another hand up to me.

"Do not worry yourself. It all will be taken care of. I promise you."

His piercing blue eyes scan my face for a moment, and there is a softness to them- to his overall countenance. And, there is a glint within his eyes that also seems to betray and break down the built façade of tough warrior and Dane slayer. In these blue depths before me there is a kind of tender gentleness that shows him to be of both a sympathetic, yet also a kind nature. They were the kind of eyes one could easily lose themselves in; and the warmth that the warrior Uhtred seemed to radiate seemed to be like that of the sun. I could understand now why so many followed the man with unquestioning loyalty. He just had that effect on people it would seem. I even soon found myself a tad envious of his inner circle, for I wanted to bask in this warmth as well.

"Thank you, milord. Thank you, Osferth." I nod to both men- my face suddenly feeling hot and a small blush forming.

"It was a pleasure to meet you milady...I only wish it were under better circumstances." Osferth says to me- bowing his head timidly.

"You too, Osferth...and once again, thank you." I bow my head to the young monk- he breaks into the tiniest of smiles, and a small blush appears on his face much like my own.

Uhtred smiles warmly at me, and gives my shoulder a tight little comforting squeeze, before departing with Osferth.

I watch as the two men leave and for the first time in a long while, I feel genuinely good...genuinely pleasant and actually comforted. It was nice to know that these people who I hardly even knew were willing to help me; a virtual stranger; out so much. Honestly, it all kind of restored a bit of my hope in humanity.

I smiled to myself inwardly like an idiot, or like some kind of cooing school girl. My first impressions of this band of warriors had been largely positive. Osferth was an absolute sweetheart, and I felt the desire to just grab his face and pinch his little cheeks he was so adorable. Sihtric was stubborn but good natured and seemed like the type who would be great to have on your side or for a laugh once you had built that trust up with him. Beocca, reminded me a bit of Aldwin and my uncle Dante, he had that kind of paternalism thing to him yet also a kind of no-nonsense streak about him as well. Uhtred...well, Uhtred seemed by default to be the very definition of a natural born leader itself. However, he also seemed the most complicated...and I had to admit I found him the most difficult to pin down of the group. I also had to admit that I found him to be the most alluring as well. Uhtred had a kind of natural authority to him, yet he also had a kind of fierce devotion and loyalty to him as well; he possessed a sort of hidden warmth and kindness underneath that gruff exterior of battle-hardened warrior, and he seemed by all accounts intelligent, calculated, and good humored as well...and it's also important to note that he wasn't half bad to look at either. I found myself honestly having a lot of trouble finding a single negative thing about the man.

Now, the last of the men I've yet to mention...that there was a man that was seemingly a lot easier to pin down. Finan was definitely handsome there was really no disputes there, and he was certainly charming; the problem however, lay in the fact that he knew that he was handsome and charming. The man was by far the most arrogant and cocky man I had ever met.

He also seemed to be loyal to only himself; and apart from Uhtred and/or his other close mates, I really couldn't see where else his sense of loyalty could possibly extend. Oh, and the man definitely reeked of womanizer; but I supposed that that was just his looks and charm at play there with that one. To give Finan a degree of credit though, there was no doubt that he _could_ be kind- he had certainly showed me a degree of kindness before and had been somewhat comforting to me. I'm also sure that deep down there are some kind of redeemable attributes which contribute to an overall good nature in this man...but all that was positive or could possibly be seen as positive was unfortunately seemingly eclipsed by his ridiculously overwhelming smug ego and his seemingly inflated sense of self.

The dude came off like a cocky douche basically...the kind of guy you want to like...the kind of guy whose good looking, funny, and all that...but then he just opens his mouth or says one thing too much and you're ready to punch his ridiculously handsome bearded face, and knock out the teeth of his ridiculously handsome cheeky shit-eating grin. He was infuriating. He was frustrating. And he seemed to always be around, like an annoying little gnat buzzing in the air.

"Aye, woman...'ya plannin' on standin' there gawking at Uhtred and Osferth's arse all day or do 'ya plan on helpin' me 'wit these here horses."

"Ugghh...why am I always left with you?" I groan.

He shrugs. "Beats me lass- Though, come to think of it...I wager it's likely lady fortune throwin' us together eh?" He smirks and then winks at me. "'Ya know 'ya really ought to not spit in the face of fortune's blessin' girlie."

"You are far from a blessing and are more like a curse."

"Aye, curse I may be...I'm at least a devilishly handsome one though." He winks at me again, while he starts to round up the horses. "Just 'ya see, curse I may be- the more 'ya around me, the more 'ya find I'm a right proper blessin' to 'ya."

I scoff, and he heads over to me- leading several horses by the reins. He pulls my arm to him and I shake free of his grasp shooting daggers at him with my eyes. He chuckles and bends down to me with a confident little smirk and whispers.

"Oh, and lass regardin' my _agility_...I'd like 'ya to know, I've earned the name _Finan the Agile_ in more places than just battle..." He shoots me a cheeky little wink. "I'd be happy to give 'ya a demonstration to prove the- how did 'ya put it...the _validity_ of the title...?"

At that moment I'm completely flustered and unfortunately Finan knows it; my face basically turns beet red; my heart starts pounding erratically, and I've basically completely lost my tongue and any ability to reply with any kind of witty retort at all.

(Okay, sir you win this round.)

Finan cackles and hands me the reins to the horses.

"Tie those up along that tree there and I'll take care of the others. Then 'ya can go about 'ya ways and take care of 'ya business."

I cough, collecting myself and waiting for my fluster to fade a bit. "Ahem...are- are you...I mean is...is Uhtred, you, and everybody else...did you have plans to stay awhile or will you soon depart?" I manage to sputter out.

"Awh, gonna miss me lass?" Finan says with a cocksure grin.

"Pffsh, no...only wanted to know what all of your plans might be."

Finan chuckles. "Aye, well...I'm not sure yet to be honest. I wager since we rode on through the night, we might be stayin' a small while to rest up before the long journey ahead."

"Oh, okay then..."

"So, 'ya'll have plenty of time to take me up on that demonstration lass." He replies with a wink and a grin.

"Ughhh..." I groan, before turning to leave- Finan cackling behind me.

 

* * *

 

While Osferth, and some of the villagers were helping to dig graves for both Aldwin and Juliette's remains. I took to walking along the dirt paths of the village and surveying the charred ruins of what had once been my home. I watched as villagers scoured the remains of ash for anything personal or anything that could be of use. I watched as Sihtric spoke with a few villagers (no doubt regarding the matter of sword ownership), and I watched as Uhtred and Finan laughed and play fought with some village children in the square.

I wondered at that moment if I would be able to rebuild...if I would be able to find anything of value in the ash and charred remains of my former life here. I wondered if I would be able to get back that childlike innocence after having just killed a man in cold blood. What was left for me here after I laid Aldwin and Juliette to rest? What would my life look like? What form would it take?

 

* * *

 

I now stood in front of two fresh graves. The father and daughter had been buried together close to their home but at a respectable distance from it. I had worked to make a wooden cross marking both their graves and was now fitting them into the fresh mounds of earth. I had now effectively and officially laid both Aldwin and Juliette to rest. I stepped back to examine the placement of the markers, and I was immediately shot in the heart with a feeling of absolute emptiness.

There was an emptiness from this loss...not in the sense of the emotional per say (yes, I mean it was emotional...), but it was like a kind of phantom limb syndrome for the soul. There was a hollowness...an amputation...a kind of chunk carved out...and a missing piece. My life had become fragmented...who I was, was fragmented now...and I wasn't sure how to move on. I knew that I had to move on...no matter what I had to be a shark and keep on swimming or else I would die...but I was at a crossroads...my heart and soul was at a crossroads. I felt physical pain manifested from the emotional...and like some kind of emotional necrosis it infected me; it infected my soul.

I was now half...now half a person...half a being...going through the motions...I needed to build a bridge of understanding to my loss and to my sorrow that I could cross in order to move on...in order to survive...in order to become a complete human being again. I had to rebuild myself from shattered pieces...glue back together the broken vase of my own being...I had to reconfigure and realign who I was, who I had been, and who I would be. This loss had become existential...it had become in a sense oddly internally eternal. I wasn't sure how I would transcend it...how I would cope with the fact that that roots I had so firmly planted...that the life that I had begun to build...had been completely and utterly destroyed...that my roots had been poisoned. The earth had been scorched and salted, and I wasn't sure how I'd ever rebuild, how I'd ever plant new roots in this world- in this time ever again.

Taking in the sight of the two of them now buried, side by side near what had been our home...what had been the site of much happiness and joy...it was positively devastating. I had wanted to bring them both home...to one another...to ensure that they both were laid to rest together in the place where we had all became a family...in a place where love had flourished...and in the spot where I had found my first instance of kindness...in the spot where a strangers charity and compassion had saved my life in more ways than one, and where these strangers had become my friends. I laid them to rest, and now all that remained was to take a moment to honor their memory...to honor what they had meant to me. I stood and stared at the makeshift wooded crosses that marked their graves; and I swallowed deeply, knowing full well that these markers would deteriorate and fade...that both Aldwin and Juliette would end up forgotten...forgotten by all...and especially forgotten by time.

They always say saying goodbye is the hardest thing you can do...it is hard, but I don't think it's the hardest...the hardest thing I would argue is living...is continuing to live. The wound and the emptiness left by a loved one's departure is amongst the hardest of things I think...not seeing them, not hearing them...and then the fear and anxiety that comes from knowing that eventually the memory of them, of your love, will ultimately fade. That last part I think hurts the most.

The pain from their immediate loss is temporary...and yes while it is painful beyond belief, it is a kind of pain that eventually lessens over time...it is a pain that eventually dulls...it numbs...and it is a pain born ultimately from shock I believe. Shock of not being able to see the individual anymore. Shock from not being able to see their smile anymore or hear their laughter. It is a shock from the loss of their proximity to you...not necessarily their loss in general...it is a pain born from the shock of the system; a pain of shock born from their absence.

In this sense I suppose this pain is...in a way selfish. It's selfish because it's not about them, the one whose passed on and now lies buried in the ground, but it's about you the one who was left behind.

I mourned Aldwin's and Juliette's death not only because they were gone and the world was lesser without them in it, but more than anything I mourned them because I was lesser without them. My pain was internally centered...externally influence...but ultimately and selfishly internally directed. I was sad because they were gone not because of them or who they were as people, but because of what they had meant to me...because of the influence their presence had on me...because of their relation to me. My pain was because I had lost something.

They had lost their lives, and the world had lost some truly beautiful and wonderful bright souls...but I...I lost a part of me...they had become me. Their proximity, their influence, their presence played such a role in my life that their mere existence...their mere lives had intersected and had become my life...their existence, their being had become an extension of my own being...of my own life. I felt fucking selfish and conceited thinking this...but I realized it was ultimately the truth of the matter...no matter how cynical or how self-absorbed it sounds.

People and our relationships to other people are more or less an extension of ourselves, of how we see ourselves...of how we want to see ourselves...and of how we want others to see us. We in turn build ourselves and who we are- our very construction of identity...we build it around the mirror that we hold up to the world and then reflect back to ourselves...we see not only what others see but we see what we ourselves have constructed and built around others. I mourned not only for the loss of truly wonderful individuals, but I mourned for myself...for what these truly wonderful individuals helped to construct, and the mirrored image of myself that they had helped to reflect.

I'd miss the people. I'd miss the memories. And I'd miss the life that I had built with these people and around these memories. But more than anything I felt a pang of sorrow and a pang of regret that they like all things would likely fade...they say time heals all wounds, but I don't necessarily believe that fully. I think time distracts, time lessens, time numbs the wounds of loss and sorrow...with time comes forgetfulness and with forgetfulness comes that kind of numbness...the pain is still there it only fades and slips into the background...you get used to it...you grow accustomed to the pain. It becomes normalized...it becomes background noise...it is omnipresent but not omnipotent. I feel it is a kind of coping mechanism of the brain, body, or even the spirit to compartmentalize the pain...to forget...maybe not entirely...since the pain of loss I will argue persists and survives in the shadows, in the purview of one's consciousness...but that in order for us to survive...in order for us to live on, and to carry on with our lives...that that pain gets pushed back...that it's a kind of necessary thing...to continue with life...to continue with living. That this is a kind of evolutionary necessary evil presenting itself here...that this...this is essentially survival. And that survival is not sentimental.

We lie to ourselves I feel about moving on because _"that's what so and so would have wanted"_. Bullshit. That's what we want...that's want we need...because if we didn't move on, because if we didn't compartmentalize or push the pain to the back of our mind...we'd end up 6ft under in the ground being eaten by worms with those who we've just said goodbye to. I think we say this to ourselves for a kind of validation, for a kind of excuse...for an okay from the dead to move on with our lives...we look for permission and forgiveness from ghosts _to forget_ and to carry on...we look for a free pass. So, we make up a kind of blasé- catchall saying to permit what we secretly think is impermissible...we try and excuse ourselves from our base instinct...survival.

Survival is cold, it is callous, and it is unfeeling, it is cynical, and it is impersonal; again, survival is not sentimental. Humans are social creatures...so to admit to putting yourself above others (even the memory of others) is taboo...it is consider _'inhuman'_ , it is considered not right or impolite...so we come up with these sayings and these kinds of comforting words to bring comfort to ourselves...to bring comfort to an otherwise uncomfortable situation. We need permission to be selfish in our feelings and in our grief...and we need permission to accept loss in order to embrace survival.

Losing Aldwin and Juliette served as another reminder of the fragility of life...of my life...of my situation. I had lost not one family, but two now...and I realized that fate...fate was a cold and uncaring bitch. Fate- fate gave zero fucks...that life...life was ultimately a coin toss.

I'd like to say that I was one of those people who found faith in hardship, and that clung ever so tightly to God or religion in times of struggle, but it was the complete opposite for me. I couldn't understand the motivations of any deity that would allow such things to take place...and if they had, then they certainly weren't a deity that I cared to know about and worship. If killing these two people and taking them from me were some kind of game or some kind of entertainment for some cruel and callous God...then fuck them. I didn't want to know them. And if they had taken them because they were needed, or because _'heaven was in need of another angel'_ , then doubly fuck them because that had meant that this divine being had purposefully taken someone from me because they had wanted them themselves. And if that was the case...then it was pretty fucking selfish for some divine entity, who had claimed to be better in nature than us mere mortals, to do. Now chance, chance I could understand... _you lose some you win some_...and that's it...that's life...shit happens...no purpose, no meaning...just sometimes bad shit happens to people; both good and bad.

It had suddenly dawned on me that I've never actually had to say goodbye to anyone before...sure, I certainly was no stranger to death in my life, being that I was after all an orphan...but even then my parents had died when I had been so young, that I had never actually truly had to say goodbye to them or to anyone really who had been so close and so innately influential in my life before. There was death, there was passing...then there was true and honest to God loss. The kind of loss that disrupts, that unsettles your life...the kind that destroys. The kind that is intimate and deeply personal. The kind that feels like a part of you has been physically amputated...the kind of loss whose pain is visceral and pervades every part of you, every sense...it overcomes you...it overloads you, your system...the kind of pain so shocking...so sudden...so overpowering...that you feel as if you may never recover. The kind of loss that sticks with you. The kind of loss that takes not only time but a particular strength of will to overcome. This kind of loss, this kind of sorrow is one that would haunt you from the shadows...that no sort of emotional exorcism or kind of balm or band-aid had any hope of healing; the only aid and semblance of a cure from this kind of pain lied in burial...lied in distraction...lied in the misguided hope of forgetting.

I was lost...an outlander to time, an outlander and stranger to everything...I was effectively a round peg trying to fit in a square hole. I didn't belong...and every time I tried to create or carve out a kind of sense or space of belonging it had been obliterated.

Where did I fit? Where could I fit?

If not with Aldwin and Juliette in the presumed comfort and safety of provinciality...then where?

Where was I to go? To whom would I belong to? Where could I ever hope to make a home?

I was a stranger in an even stranger land...and I had to hope that somewhere there was a place for me...there was a kind of belonging that existed...that there was a kind of commodity...solidarity...a family that I could forge.

I had to believe. I had to try. I had to survive.

I had to push forward...I had nothing else.

I would begin my life anew, I would survive, I would forge ahead along an uncertain and undeterminable path.

I had said my goodbyes. I had my moment of grief and introspection. Now, I just needed to think of what was next...

 

* * *

 

All of a sudden, a kind of lightbulb went off in my brain, and I remembered something...

(Now, I know I will likely receive a degree of judgement for what I'm about to say but...honestly, it's the stupidest thing to have thought of...especially given this particular moment in my life...but I remembered that the forge hadn't been burnt. And, I also remembered...God be willing, if it hadn't been completely scavenged the fuck out of by now...that I had hid a few personal belongings in there. Belongings that I would undoubtedly need for the journey ahead. Items that could help me bridge a kind of link between both my old life and what would be my new...items that would provide me with a sense of familiarity and comfort in my time of grief and uncertainty.)

I immediately headed for the forge and quickly took stock of what remained. I had been right- the former blacksmith's lay largely bare and most of the items and materials that had been taken were either looted or requisitioned into the repairs of the village. My eyes scanned around the room until they finally landed on the far-left side of the forge where the back of the wall connecting to the hearth was lined with bricks. I immediately headed over to the brick wall and crouched down- feeling for a loose brick. A loose brick, where underneath lay some of the things that I had hidden away...things from my old life before.

I wiggled the stone, eventually pulling the brick out of place. Stuffed behind the brick and wrapped in parchment lay some of the clothes I had arrived in, a swiss army knife (which had been hidden away for obvious reasons), and the birthday gifts of my former friends from my former life. I hugged the parchment to my chest, receiving a kind of comfort from their lost familiarity.

I unwrapped the parchment package and put the small folded utility knife into my pocket. While, unwrapping the kind of time capsule from the future that I had hidden- I saw the bag of weed that my friend Oba had given me and that I had traveled here with...and at first I just laughed (of course my pothead ass would end up hiding this away...well, at least I had been smart about rationing it, because much to my surprise there was still a fair bit left...at least enough for a few nights fun). I took a smell of it (it smelled terrible by the way...but I suppose as long as it did the trick still right?), and I quickly shoved the bag into my pocket with the knife. Next, I found the stone necklace that Priscilla my work colleague and friend had gifted me, and I put it on (I had hidden it away initially because I thought that it was 1. Too gaudy, 2. Too out of place in this century, and 3. Too esoteric looking...and like I said I had been trying to avoid being burnt at the stake while here). Looking at the small bundle of clothes that remained in the package, I quickly scanned the room around me until I managed to find something that I could use as a kind of knapsack to temporarily store the miscellaneous clothing in (the clothes were literally just a bra, underwear, and an undershirt...again anything that I thought at the time could potentially break the time space continuum or possibly get me killed I had hidden away. Obviously, I realized now that all that was fucking stupid since I almost got killed anyway, and so I decided I was basically just going to yolo it now...fuck time and fuck space).

Now, that I had collected the necessary provisions and the articles of my former life, I was ready to begin anew. I was ready to leave this village, and I was ready to start again.

My first order of business would be of course to convince Uhtred and the others to have me...

 

* * *

 

Uhtred and his men are gathered- readying their horses outside the village, when I approach them suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere.

"I'm coming with you." I say, determined.

Some of the men jump, a little startled by my sudden appearance. Uhtred who had mounted his horse by now turns and looks down to me.

"And what makes you think we want you?" He says.

"Because, I'm not giving you a choice in the matter." I say, glaring up at the half Dane.

"Oh, is that so?" He replies- a playful tone to his voice.

The rest of the group chuckles at our exchange and at my matter of fact attitude.

"Yes. Because even if you say no...I'll only follow behind you to whatever God forsaken place you end up going...you'll eventually have to say yes. I'll make my presence so annoyingly known, you'll have no choice but to accept me...because no matter what, no matter where- every time you turn around, I'll be there. I'll effectively become your shadow. I'll haunt you like a ghost."

"So, 'ya'll basically follow us 'round like a lost puppy?" Chimes in Finan.

"Yes. I will. I'm nothing if not determined."

"Why would you even want to join us?" Uhtred asks.

"Part necessity...maybe wholly out of necessity. I have nothing else. There is nothing else for me...you lot seem the best possible solution right now for me. I need to move forward...I need a vehicle from which to do that from...I'm hoping you can be that vehicle."

"It won't bring them back. Following us." States Uhtred.

"I know it won't...but it will provide a distraction, and with that distraction hopefully time to heal. Also, I hope it's not too conceited or narcissistic of me to say but...you could likely use me...your rag tag group of misfit adventurers could do with a boost in numbers...and I'm not exactly unskilled."

"Mmm, yes it could appear so." Uhtred replies- a tone of playful skepticism in his voice.

"Appear so?"

"You could also be a liability." He teases.

"Or a boon." I shoot back.

"Or a liability." He retorts.

"Look, I am prepared to take an oath or whatever it is you all do..."

Uhtred laughs. "While, I appreciate the gesture lady...I'm sure that won't be necessary. I am very particular with who I accept as oath-bound."

My brows furrow and I begin to get rather frustrated. "I'm not some delicate fucking flower here...I can defend myself and prove my own worth. I'm merely asking for permission to join you fucking lot out of common courtesy here, and due to the fact that I literally have fuck all left in my life..."

"It's nice to know that we're so desired lass." Replies Finan, sarcastically.

"In an ideal world, I'd live peacefully in my own world- my own home...but that's no longer an option for me...so it isn't a matter of what I desire anymore." I snarl back.

My eyes narrow up at Uhtred, and they bore into him before ultimately softening.

"I...I wish to join you...also...because you seem to be someone worth following." I reply, softly.

Uhtred surveys me and circles me with his horse.

"Now, do you accept me or not?" I say, not allowing myself to be intimidated.

Uhtred breaks out into a tiny little smirk. "I suppose we can make room for you in our party...one way or another..."

I break out into a smile, and I immediately grab a free horse that had been tied up to a tree along with the others.

"You won't regret it." I reply to Uhtred.

"Mmm...we will see."

Uhtred makes one last comment before riding off to lead at the front. Finan rides alongside me and pulls his horse over to mine.

"Aye, looks like 'ya got 'ya own steed now...sure 'ya won't miss sharin' 'wit me now?"

I groan and roll my eyes. "Positive."

Finan chuckles and goes to join Uhtred at the front.

Beocca and Osferth ride on past me, followed by Sihtric- who is avoiding my gaze.

I huff, because I see that Sihtric is purposefully trying to ignore me- I ride forward to quickly catch up to him and cut him off with my own horse.

"Sihtric...you owe me my fucking sword. Don't you dare think that I was just going to let you leave out of town with it. I expect that blade back you little shit."

Sihtric groans, and Beocca chuckles.

"I wouldn't have let him leave without having returned it milady." Replies Beocca.

"Good, or that would've been another reason I would've followed you."

 

 

 


	13. "Forged Bonds"

 

* * *

  

It was estimated that we would be traveling for about half a week or so before arriving at our final destination of Cookham. I was excited, albeit a bit nervous, to make a new start in this life and I was keen to see what new adventures awaited me outside the small provincial medieval village that I had made home. I was eager to see what else lie ahead for me in the 10th century, and I was eager to leave the darkness and shadows of the past behind me and move on.

The long hours of the journey ahead offered me the perfect opportunity to become better acquainted with my new companions. Moreover, the travel offered me some much-needed respite from a broken heart that had been otherwise plagued with grief. This week and a half long journey would provide both distraction and necessary time to heal. That's what I kept telling myself at least. I kept telling myself that this was a chance to rebuild my life. That I could start again, start anew...forge new connections...create new relationships.

Life on the road did allowed me to get to know my companions better and for them to get to know me...but it was still proving to be quite a challenge for me to adapt and to put the trauma of the past behind me. I found that I was frequently having nightmares throughout the night, and that I would wake up panicked, hyperventilating, and covered in a cold sweat- usually clutching onto the hilt of my sword or dagger. Sometimes, I found myself even during my waking hours drifting back to that night. Flashes of Juliette or Aldwin's dying face pervading my minds-eye. These flashes; as they could best be described; would come at random intervals- like little flashes of lightning when I would least expect it. With these emotional/mental flashes of lightning, I would also soon find that my heart would swiftly drop down into my stomach (it was like the kind of drop feeling you get right before descending down a rollercoaster or when you see something that truly startles you- it's the kind of feeling that's quick and jarring); and it was the kind of drop where your heart drops down then slingshots back up into your throat...and you think you're going to choke on it...and God by all accounts it honestly feels like you're going to choke...you can't breathe, you can't think of anything except for the fact that you can't breathe...and your heart is vibrating and pounding away like the drums of war. This feeling lasts for what feels like an eternity but what's actually only a few seconds and then...just like that it's gone. It wasn't pleasant not in the least bit. I was basically self-diagnosed now with some kind of PTSD or anxiety disorder with absolutely no way of seeking out any kind of therapy or treatment for it (because surprise surprise folk's psychiatrist's and diazepam wasn't invented yet). My only comfort in this situation was that I was at least able to keep it to myself and that I didn't wake up screaming or something. My anxiety and troubles were well mannered...well hidden...and didn't serve to burden those around me. I couldn't allow my new companions to see how fragile I truly was; I was fighting for their respect, for their acceptance...and while I knew that there wasn't anything to be ashamed of and that there wasn't anything wrong with how my brain was reacting...a part of me needed to hide it...wanted to hide it even...if not for others, than for myself. I knew I was in denial, and I knew that it wasn't healthy what I was doing...but I found myself doing it anyway. Like an ostrich I buried my head in the sand...and I buried that shit deep.

_Time would heal all wounds_ \- I told myself the stupid cheesy saying over and over again...even though I honestly only half believed it. Time had gotten me into this mess to begin with...so maybe I felt a tad bit entitled to some reparations from it.

As the journey progressed I did get _somewhat_  better, and the nightmares lessened a little bit day by day, as I tried to keep my mind focused ahead (distract, distract, distract, bury, bury, bury...that's the mantra for a woman who really doesn't like to deal with her shit...put a band-aid on the crack of the dam to keep its waters temporarily at bay and to keep its foundation repaired...just deal with the fallout on another day).

_It was the best of times and the worst of times_...the worst was when I would get stuck in my own head for too long, the best was when I spent time with my new companions sharing laughs, sharing stories, and making memories. The more time I spent with these men, the more I learned about each of them; I soon found out that I wasn't the only one amongst them to carry some sort of baggage and/or trauma...and even though my companions were scant with the details of their past, they shared just enough for me to know that they too had darkness buried deep within.

\-------

From what I had been told Cookham was recently returned to Uhtred in light of his good services and as a gesture of good will from the new King Edward- King Alfred's son.

(Yea, you heard me...fucking King Alfred the fucking Great y'all...I wasn't super amazing at history but I knew enough of it to have my head completely fucking spin at the mention of that name trust me...oh, and interestingly enough apparently he and Uhtred had a pretty contentious love-hate broship going on there...which I found pretty damn riveting all things considering. Also, it's truly amazing all the people who you don't hear about in history isn't it? I mean take Uhtred here and his role in everything pretty much Alfred related...it's fascinating really to know the true tale of things, yet it's also kind of sad to know that history won't even remember him or know his name.)

The closer we got to Cookham, the more we rode onward with little rest. I imagined that our lord Uhtred was in a hurry to return to his lands; and I had to admit myself that even I couldn't wait until we had finally reached our destination. The journey to Cookham was long...and boring...and we had ridden so long that my ass was literally losing all feeling in it. We'd stop and camp here and there, but most of the time we only stopped to give a full rest to the horses. The lack of any actual rest lately for us humans was beginning to put me in a most foul mood to say the least. When our journey had first begun there had been little to no issues arising at the start of it; however, as the days passed, I found that the prolonged travel of it all was beginning to wear on my nerves.

(Correction: Finan was beginning to wear on my nerves.)

I had found that they (mostly Finan) had some pre-existing notions and ideas about what a woman's role was in relation to men...and I will say right now that a lot of those notions got promptly shut the fuck down. I had quickly found throughout the duration of our journey that I needed to assert myself as an alpha in order to get anywhere with these men and to secure myself a place of respect and equal standing within the group.

They (Finan) had tested me often...oh, God how they (Finan) tested me...and God how I had the strength to persevere and how the majority of them (again, Finan) were left standing was an absolute goddamn mystery to me.

Finan, had made the mistake of really bugging the shit out of me as of late with his stupid jokes and his flirty little cheeky comments- to the point where I was practically just a powder keg waiting to explode. Literally, one more practical joke by either him or Sihtric or one more snide little comment or sexist thing out of his stupid bearded face was decidedly and unequivocally going to set me the fuck off. There had been an instance in particular where recently Finan had made me so angry...and I mean so goddamn angry that I had eventually ended up snapping. I don't even remember what the fuck he even said or did...all I remember is that I was done. Completely and utterly finished. I was tired. I was cranky. My ass was sore. And, I was up to here with him. I had allowed my anger to stew and simmer inside of me for far too long...and so like I said I ended up snapping. It was early afternoon and I had just finished tending to and watering the horses when I heard the Celt cackle wildly to the other men. I looked over to the man who had been telling some sort of tall tale or another, and who had been frequently casting glances in my direction and laughing before continuing on with his story. Now, in my defense this wasn't the first time I had heard the man bragging about women, his conquests, or even talking about me in a less than favorable light with the other men.

From what I had gathered and also from what I managed to coerce and work out of Osferth, there was apparently a bet running amongst Finan, Sihtric, and even Uhtred himself over who might be able to catch a glimpse of me in a state of undress. I was disgusted at the three of them (Finan and Sihtric I wasn't really all that surprised by...but Uhtred I was a tad bit disappointed in to be honest because I had expected better of our leader), Osferth was beside himself with shame at having not defended my honor (it was clear the little chap had been developing a little crush on me), and I was absolutely livid by the whole situation at large. Now, I knew from Osferth (he made a fantastic snitch by the way) that Finan had been the mastermind behind the whole idea of the bet to begin with...so it was primarily for him that my wrath had been reserved for. And, so armed with my anger...I promptly marched right up to the shit-talking Celt and raised my hand- making to slap him hard and strong across the face (his ridiculously fucking smug handsome face).

This would have been successful and gloriously satisfying had he not seen me- a small female tempest of fury and anger storming over to him. I received a firsthand demonstration of his fast reflexes when he caught my wrist before my open hand had managed to make contact with his face. (I guess there really was something to that whole _agile_ bit after all...)

"I commend 'ya effort girlie- but, if 'ya wish to strike me 'ya gonna have to try harder than that..."

Finan's gaze bore into me and I returned his glare in kind before he finally let go of my wrist. I growled at the shit grinning Celt and stormed off- where I literally sat stewing and pouting for days; the only ones I would talk to being father Beocca and the young monk Osferth.

The men had a right proper chuckle over that for a few days; but, apparently despite all the amusement that my actions seemed to bring- they also had appreciated my attempt at defending my own honor...and well almost bitch slapping Finan. Also, the silent treatment ladies and gents does wonders...because these little boys couldn't stand being ignored let me tell you. When they had attempted to speak with me I would straight up ghost them or I would be rude and only reply in Spanish (I know I was being a total petty Betty but I really did not care...they would be forgiven when I decided to forgive them...no sooner, no later).

My moxie and my determination had earned them an inkling of respect it seemed, and I was surprised by that...because I had been acting like a total bitch lately to them, and I had thought initially that my volatile emotional impulsivity combined with my recent attitude would have cost me dearly so far as my relationship with my new companions went. It hadn't though...and with a few day's time I found myself eventually forgiving them for being classic douchey bros. It hadn't been easy trust me...but combined with my fireside lessons on feminism and Beocca's classic fatherly shaming...I think that we both had eventually made them see the error of their ways. I knew that deep down there wasn't anything honestly malevolent about their actions or their jests...I knew that they had been only teasing and testing me...and I knew that I had been rather overly sensitive as of late partly due to the stresses and fatigue of the long journey. It wasn't until I sat down with myself and practiced some reflexivity that I began to realize that (also, admittedly...father Beocca had helped to talk sense into me as well).

 

* * *

 

We were now a single night outside of arriving in Cookham, and we finally decided to stop and set up camp after several days and nights of continuous travel (I basically begged Uhtred with the aid of Beocca and Osferth to allow us to stop and actually get a full night's sleep...it was suffice to say my finest moment of groveling).

It was now night and the only light in the camp was from the warm glow of the fire and the few shining stars that poked out from behind a cloud filled sky. It was a crisp and cool spring night...the kind where back home I would go and hit up the beach with friends and curl up with blankets on the sand. The kind of night where bonfires, fireflies, bowls, and six packs were aplenty. I missed those nights...the kind in California where it was still warm enough to wear shorts, but you'd still need a sweater. I missed the feeling of warm sand between my fingertips, the cool glass of a beer bottle on my lips as I took a drink of something cheap and disgusting. I missed the dancing we would all do around a bonfire when we had one too many to drink or had taken one hit too many off the bowl. I missed the eclectic mixed playlist that we would all dance to. God, did I miss music...and horrible craft beer...and dancing.

I had found myself missing home; this night had brought me back to the nights of my past...nights that were technically placed in the future...nights that didn't actually exist yet. I thought to myself...if you have a memory of something that hasn't happened yet...does that mean it doesn't exist? Or does it exist because it is remembered?

\--------

The men all sat around the fire and began telling stories and personal anecdotes from their lives as warriors. I sat and listened attentively to the tales (many I personally felt had been embellished quite some bit) and I felt it hard to relate to them...I was not a seasoned warrior like these men...I had only killed one man before- and that was because I had a sudden lapse from reality and had succumbed to complete madness and bloodlust. I wanted to share a story of my own; I wanted to contribute, to belong...to feel a part of the group at this precise moment and share in the solidarity that the storytelling brought to this night. But, I felt that any story from my own life that I told them would likely pale in comparison to their (much exaggerated) tales of grandeur...so I did the only thing I could think of doing (which it is important to note I was not especially proud of doing by the way)...I pulled from the archives of fiction.

I started to tell them the story of _Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire_ (Sorry George RR Martin...forgive me for telling your stories several centuries way too early...but desperate times call for desperate measures). I must have been quite successful in my telling of the tales...or let's just call a spade a spade here and just say it had little to do with me- the one telling the tale and more to do with the source material itself (George you'll be happy to know that your writing transcends not only across all audiences but also across time itself).

They we're all incredibly intrigued by the tales I had started to tell. Although, I must say I was particularly surprised to see that father Beocca was the most intrigued and captivated out of all of them. (Like he was really into it...really REALLY INTO IT.)

Uhtred takes a drink out of this flask. "I should like to meet this Khalessi." He says with a serious expression.

I laugh at the seriousness of Uhtred's tone and nearly do a spit take of my own drink. "Ha! You and me both sir."

"Aye, I second that...she sounds like a hell of a lass." Finan adds, taking a drink from his own flask.

"I prefer the girl Arya myself. She has spirit."

"I like Arya myself too Sihtric...but you got to remember she's basically a child dude...so uhh- don't be a creep." I say with a teasing little smirk.

"That-that's not what I meant!" Sihtric yells out.

"That's so gross Sihtric...you're such a predator you know that...?" I grin.

Finan and Uhtred laugh, and even Osferth manages a little smirk. Sihtric glares at me and kicks up dirt in my direction. I cackle at his childlike reaction and his pouting.

"And what happens next? Does that villainess Cersei get what is coming to her?" Beocca excitedly interjects.

I had forgotten just how into it all the father had gotten...and I really found myself at a loss, for even I wasn't sure as to the ending of this tale.

(One regret I have of leaving my time is that I wouldn't know how this story ended...and quite frankly that really pissed me off. So, if I was going to ever continue with this literary saga when next we camped- I had to pretty much improv a lot of it and go off of what I already knew in the story thus far...)

"Erm...well I mean I don't want to ruin the whole story- since there's still so much of it to go through...but there was a witches prophecy that Cersei heard when she was a child...so we'll just have to see if that comes to fruition I guess..."

"What was the prophecy?" Beocca asked- literally staring at me wide eyed and expectant like a little kid.

"Ohhh...ahh well, you see she had been promised to Rhaegar as a child- remember I told you all that in the beginning...anyways, the witch predicted that she'd never marry him and that all the children she'd have would end up dying and that she'd end up being betrayed by someone close to her...specifically that her brother would end up taking from her everything which she holds dear- including her life or so it's believed. Which is likely one of the reasons that she despises Tyrion...but honestly, we'll see if this prophecy or witches curse comes to anything next time. We really ought to all be getting some sleep now..."

"Bu-but what about-?" The priest begins to protest like a child.

I laugh. "Next time father- I promise you will know many things about the story including the fate of one of its many villains next time."

I start to leave and head for my bedroll- preparing it for the night when Uhtred comes over to me and plops down onto the ground next to me.

"I've, never seen the priest so giddy before."

"Ha, well the great bard George RR Martin has enraptured many with his tales."

"Are you a bard then Wren?"

"I-I have never really given it much thought before...but I guess by your lands standards I am in a way...yes."

"Ah, well you are most talented...I do not know this _Martin_ , but he spins a most interesting tale...and you- you seem to do it much justice it would seem."

"Thank you, milord."

Uhtred nods silently to me and his eyes seem to scan me for the briefest of moments before he begins speaking again. "I find you and your homeland most fascinating Wren...I look forward to hearing more tales again from you...perhaps next time- one more personal? I do wish to get better acquainted with all of my companions after all."

My heart flutters a bit when he says this.

"Anyways, I should be off to bed- for tomorrow we arrive in Cookham."

"Ugh, I'll be glad of it..." I mutter to myself- unfortunately, a tad bit too loudly.

Uhtred chuckles. "Do you not enjoy the company of me and my men Wren?"

"Uhhh...no-no! It's not that...I mean sure Finan can be a right proper prick who I want to throat punch half the time...but, it's mostly just that I can't wait to be able to sleep on something other than hard earth. I am in need of an actual rest with a warm roof over my head and a nice meal in my belly...I mean not that the journey hasn't been great- I mean you guys are awesome and all- it's just I'm tired and my ass is sore and- "

Uhtred laughs and cocks an eyebrow.

"That's- erm...that's not what I meant...I mean that sounds weird...I mean you know the part about my ass and all- "

Uhtred lifts his hand to silence me and chuckles- shaking his head. "Gods woman how you do ramble..." He laughs harder. "You're fortunate it comes off as endearing to me rather than as an annoyance- otherwise, I would never have considered you to become oath-bound."

"You're considering me to actually...like officially become oath-bound?"

"Mmm. Perhaps."

"What changed your mind? I thought you were picky?"

"I am. But you are persistent...you have worn on me woman. Plus, I admire the tenacity you show."

"Really?!" I gleam.

Uhtred laughs. "Do not mistake me lady...you are still impulsive and still often act like a child, letting your emotions get the better of you...I know this because I too struggle with this problem. Hopefully, with time we will both learn and mature on this front."

I smile. "One can hope milord."

He nods to me and rises to his feet.

"I'm afraid now I must truly bid you goodnight lady."

"Goodnight milord, and sweet dreams...erm- I mean..."

(What the actual fuck had I just said...I was internally cringing at the lameness of it all. It had just come out of my mouth; I hadn't even thought about it...it was just one of those things that one would naturally say to someone...fuck I looked and felt so fucking stupid right now it was unreal.)

Uhtred smiled at me warmly and let out a small chuckle. "Thank you, Wren; may your dreams be ever pleasant as well."

He gives me a tight squeeze of the shoulder as he passes by me before stopping a distance away and turning.

"You seem to have a talent for a great many things Wren..." Uhtred says- his eyes flick over to me and graze up and down my frame. "I look forward to finding out what many more of those talents may be."

I now sat baffled and blushing atop my bedroll. The last thing Uhtred had said to me seemed to drip of innuendo...or perhaps it was just me reading into it (you know wishful thinking and all folks). I didn't quite know how to take what Uhtred had said...and I wasn't sure what to think of it all or of him to be honest.

As time passed, and as our journey progressed, I found myself slowly starting to be accepted by this group of battle-hardened warriors. I was slowly building trust with the men and starting to be seen as more than just some small woman or some random tag-along...I was starting to become one of them. I started to understand the camaraderie and relationships that these men had built around one another, and I started to share in it. We began to transcend beyond mere travel companions and into friends the longer we had found ourselves on the road; and I wondered what shape our relationship would now take now that the journey was coming to an end.

I wondered what shape my relationships with the men would take once we reached Cookham tomorrow. Sure, I was becoming friends with everyone. And, sure I was fitting in better than I had when I first joined the group...but, I still had difficulties seeing how exactly I fit into this party of complicated men. I wasn't sure what I was to them, or to the group dynamic...I wasn't even sure what they were exactly to me. I had trouble finding a way to understand my new role in relation to these men...and I had difficulty trying to translate it in my mind in a way I could understand.

Then...just like that...it all of a sudden dawned on me...I had essentially fallen in with the lost boys and I was their Wendy.

My only question now was whoever would end up being my Peter?

 

 

  


	14. "The Journey Forward & First Impressions"

 

* * *

  

I was thankful that we had finally reached our destination of Cookham. I couldn't wait to relax for a bit and give my ass a much-needed respite from the saddle of my horse. I now only needed to figure out how best to make myself useful to my new lord Uhtred. I wondered what role he would have me fill? Personal guard? Blacksmith? I felt I was equally suited for either role; but, uncertainty as to my future with him in Cookham still lingered heavy in the air.

The town of Cookham itself was small and quaint- and it reminded me much of my old village...except for the fact that it was much larger than my village had been and much more bustling. It was nice, homey even...but it was a place I had a lot of trouble picturing our lord Uhtred in. The nature of Cookham seemed to be the exact opposite to the nature of the warrior I had been traveling with. One was calm, one was peaceful...settled even...and the other...well, not so much. Cookham was all the things that I couldn't for the life of me picture Uhtred as being. I found it rather perplexing to be honest the juxtaposition between this town that lay before me and my new lord.

\-------

Uhtred had rushed off the second we had arrived- as did Osferth and father Beocca; which left me alone atop my mount with both Sihtric and Finan.

"Well...they were in a hurry, weren't they?" I remark.

"Aye, business to see to I imagine."

"Yes, and they managed to leave us with the task of tending to their horses as well." Sihtric states- rather annoyed.

I leap off of my horse and my feet hit the hard, solid ground of Cookham below me. We had been riding for hours and I was so happy to finally be off my horse that mentally I was kissing the ground beneath me.

"I'm just happy that we're finally here."

Finan smiles and heads over to a small fruit stand near to us and the stables. "Got no taste for the road 'eh Wren?"

He smirks and takes a bite of an apple that he's picked up from the stand behind him. The old woman who runs the stall shoots daggers at him. Finan rolls his eyes and flicks a coin at the woman- she catches the coin and sighs, rolling her eyes at Finan in kind.

"I know it wasn't a terribly long journey, but I haven't exactly been used to traveling lately." I say- defending myself.

Sihtric rolls his eyes. "Yes, used to the simple life of a village no?" He states rather matter of fact-like.

Sihtric tends to his horse and starts to lead the others to the stables near the main gates. "I think you'll find Wren that now that you're oath bound there will be nothing simple about your life anymore..."

Finan almost chokes on a piece of apple. "Uhtred made her oath bound?"

"Yes. Last night." Sihtric replies.

The men both look at men- seemingly awaiting a confirmation.

"Yes...I suppose he did. Why is that a problem?"

Finan laughs and shakes his head- a smug little grin pulling onto his face. "Nah, no problem...just usually our lord's not so quick to take on...ahhh, well new recruits let's say."

"What the hell that's supposed to mean?" I question.

Finan grins. "Nothin' lass...really."

"Finan."

Sihtric rolls his eyes and finishes up with the last of the horses. "I'll meet you at the tavern Finan. Dealing with you lot is thirsty work...you make me feel as if I'm a nursemaid."

"Oi, mate! 'Ya owe me a bloody pint don't 'ya forget 'ya cheap fuckin' bastard."

Sihtric chuckles and turns to ignore the Celt. "Wren, I hope you will join us later for a proper welcoming."

I nod to him and he smiles at me.

Sihtric leaves, and I immediately turn back to Finan, whose leaning his frame against the wooden post of the stall and continuing to bite into his apple.

My eyes narrow. "Speak Celt."

"About?" He says- smiling cheekily.

"Your meaning..."

Finan propels himself forward from the post and walks up to me- continuing to bite into his apple and chew with his mouth open. He circles around me like a predator about to strike and smiles.

Finan towers over me before bending down to bring us face to face- he takes another bite of the apple. "Tis nothin' really...just usually when a woman is travelin' 'wit us or becomes oath bound to our lord...usually it's not too long after that they...well 'ya know... _become bound in other ways_."

My face turns to absolute fire and instantly there's a crimson blush painted across my cheeks. If I had had a paler complexation as opposed to my dusky biracial one, I'd be completely and utterly screwed (well more screwed) than I am now already. Finan seems to gauge my reaction and knew the affect that both his words and proximity have had on me.

Finan smirks at me and backs up from my face. "Tis a shame really...I had hopes for 'ya myself..."

I scoff. "Pffsh, fat chance of that ever happening."

"Ahh...well the lord does work in mysterious ways don't it father..."

Finan grabs the shoulders of a passing Beocca and grins widely.

The priest groans in annoyance. "I don't even want to know what kind of things you're getting yourself into right now heathen..."

"Aye, father 'ya too harsh."

Beocca rolls his eyes. "Leave me be boy. And leave the poor bloody girl alone too while you're at it."

The priest lifts Finan's hands from his shoulders, sighs and is soon on his way.

"Beocca is right, there really isn't much hope for you..."

"Aye, that may be- but 'ya no shinnin' pinnacle of piety 'ya self girlie."

I scoff and laugh. "I never claimed to be."

Finan circles me again and comes at me from behind- then whispers down into my ear. "Aye, so I suppose we'll burn together then..."

Finan's hot breath fills my ear and tickles down my neck. He takes a loose strand of my hair and pulls it aside...I instantly yank away from him almost stumbling forward. He grins widely- his eyes dark and playful.

I cough- my face hot and even redder than it had been previously.

Finan laughs. "Well, I suppose I ought to welcome 'ya to the team then..." He says before patting me on the back and moving past me to leave.

He stops and turns his head to speak to me over his shoulder. "Oh, and Wren 'ya ought to see about seein' the healer while 'ya here...'ya look to have a mighty flush of the fever about 'ya."

"I-I..." Is all I manage to stammer out.

Finan cackles and leaves.

I mutter in Spanish under my breath and wipe my brow...these men would be the death of me I just knew it.

 

* * *

 

I managed to find my way to the great hall easily enough (it was literally the largest building and it was at the center of the town); and headed towards it to meet with Uhtred and hopefully discuss the business of my new role as oathbound.

Upon approaching the large structure, I soon heard the giggling and yelling of children.

As I got closer to the entrance of the hall, I was bombarded by small humans rushing past me and nearly knocking me over.

"Give it back Osbert!" A small girl screams at a much larger boy.

"No! Not until you say that I'm as good a warrior as father!"

"UGHHH!!!" The little girl lunges for the doll and the boy- presumably her brother pushes her down onto the ground.

I go up to the fighting children and kneel down to them. The little girl has a frustrated dirt streaked face with tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" The little boy spits out.

I look over to the bratty little boy and roll my eyes turning my attention instead to the little girl.

"Hey...don't ever let them see you cry okay? If you do, then they'll know that they've won." I whisper over to her.

The little girl looks over at me with wide blue eyes and manages a weak smile.

"Hey, Lady! I asked who you were!" The little boy yells out- kicking some dirt at me.

"You want your doll back?" I say smiling to the little girl.

The little girl sniffles and nods.

"Right, so here's what you need to do...." I grin over at the boy before whispering into the little girl's ear. She smiles widely and shakes her head. The girls brother pouts- staring down at us with a confused expression.

The two of us grin wickedly over at the little boy- and the next thing the boy knows is that his feet are swiftly kicked out from under him and he's eating dirt.

The little girl's doll goes flying out of the boy's hand and lands at the feet of Uhtred. Uhtred cocks an eyebrow at the scene before him and bends down to pick up the doll.

(Now, I know it wasn't exactly the mature or adult thing to do...but whatever I hate a bully so as far as I saw it the little shit needed some humbling. Personal consequences be damned.)

The girl bursts into laughter at her brother who is now covered in mud. The boy whose twice her size is red with anger and humiliation. I snicker and cough trying to hide my own amusement at the little scene before me- having finally taken notice of Uhtred standing there towering above us.

"UGHH! I'll kill you Stiorra!" The boy jumps to his feet and makes a go towards his sister.

"You'll do no such thing Osbert."

The girl whips around towards Uhtred. "PAPA!"

The mud-covered boy is now looking down at his feet in shame. "Father..."

The little girl runs to her father and he picks her up with one arm and swings her around before holding her firmly in his arms. "I assume this is yours." Uhtred hands the doll over to the little girl who nods her head excitedly and yanks it out of his grasp- hugging it tightly to her chest.

"Uhh...so about all this." I say rather nervously- not sure just how much of the scene Uhtred had witnessed.

The little girl known as Stiorra, beams down at me. "Thank you, milady! And dolly thanks you as well!"

Uhtred laughs and looks over to me. "I assume this is your doing?"

"I-I...uhh...well...you see."

"I kicked Osbert's arse." The girl Stiorra proudly exclaims.

Uhtred laughs.

"Milady helped."

Uhtred smirks. "Oh, did she now?"

The little girl nods excitedly to her father.

"Osbert, is this true?"

The little boy hangs his head in shame- his ears like the whole of his face shine red with embarrassment.

Uhtred sighs and walks over to the small boy. "Never, pick a fight that is not necessary or that you are not willing to lose my son...otherwise defeat will taste most sour in your mouth."

Uhtred ruffles the small boy's hair and walks past him; then he stops and turns to me. "Well, come on now- follow me." Uhtred gestures to both me and the small boy to follow him into the great hall.

We enter the hall and it is lined with several furs and candles. A great long table stands at the center of the room. Uhtred lowers his daughter onto the ground and bops her on the nose- the little girl giggles and Uhtred smiles.

"Osbert, Stiorra- go find your brother and play...and Osbert- remember, let today be a lesson to you."

"Yes, father."

The little girl turns and curtseys to me before following her brother out of the room.

Uhtred smiles, sighs, and shakes his head.

"They are a handful, but I am most happy to be able to see them again."

"I didn't know that you were a father."

"Yes, he has a whole brood of them." A feminine voice rings out, and a tall slender blonde woman walks in.

"Hild." Uhtred says- a large smile upon his face.

"Lord Uhtred." Replies the woman known as Hild.

"Is that how you greet your lord Hild? Come here and show me the proper respect this instance woman." Uhtred smirks and says playfully.

The woman known as Hild smiles and heads over to Uhtred- where he swiftly pulls her into a loving embrace and kisses her fondly atop the forehead. She laughs and shoos the warrior away. The woman's gaze then turns to me and she begins to eye me up and down.

"And, this is?"

"This is Wren. She is oath bound now." Uhtred states.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance milady." I say- curtseying to Hild.

Hild laughs.

I feel awkward under the woman's gaze and shift uncomfortably on my feet. "You have a lovely home, and lovely children by the way...the both of you do."

Both Uhtred and Hild burst out into laughter.

"I think you misunderstand child...I am not Uhtred's wife."

"No, our dear Hild here is a bride of Christ."

"Wait- hold up, you're-you're a nun?!"

"Abbess technically...but yes."

"I'm so sorry to have presumed!"

(I felt so mortified at this exact moment by the way, it should be noted.)

Hild laughs. "It's really quite alright. It was a most amusing notion I must admit...and I find that amusement is in somewhat short supply these days so if anything, thank you child."

"Uhhh...glad to be of service I suppose?"

Hild nods at me, and Uhtred smirks.

"Please forgive me...but I must ask to speak with Uhtred alone concerning a particular matter. I would very much like us to become better acquainted however...so I hope we may speak soon after if you don't mind waiting here in the hall for a time?"

"No, it's no bother at all."

Hild smiles warmly to me, and her and Uhtred disappear into another room to speak privately.

 

* * *

 

I sigh deeply and take in the room around me. I am left temporarily alone to my thoughts and I begin to reflect on the woman who I had just met.

They always say first impressions are important...and I wasn't entirely sure if I made the best one to the sister Hild. To be honest she kind of terrified me a little bit...she didn't really have any reason to...but, memories of grade-school and the nuns there (I went to a Catholic school when I was younger) had left a rather colorful imprint on me during my younger more impressionable years. Hild seemed kind and sweet, but I could tell that she was wary of me. I also had a sneaky suspicion that her and Uhtred may have once been a thing...or at the very least there had been feelings there...residual or not I could feel this vibe in the air and off of how they interacted with one another.

 

* * *

 

Hild closes the door behind her and turns to face the warrior Uhtred.

"And what is the matter that is of such import that we must speak privately?"

"Word has been sent from Winchester."

Uhtred groans. "I've only just returned and now the boy king requests my presence again?"

Hild sighs. "I am merely relaying the message Uhtred."

"I was not Alfred's Dog nor am I Edwards."

"Uhtred...he merely wishes an audience with you."

Uhtred scoffs. "Let him come to Cookham then."

"You know that is not how things are done Uhtred...also, you just got Cookham and your children back- are you really that eager to have them taken from you again?"

Uhtred groans. "And was this matter urgent?"

"It sounded as if it might be."

Uhtred sighs heavily. "Well, at least I can use this trip to discuss the matter of Bebbanburg with the boy king."

Hild smiles at Uhtred and makes her way to a small table at the other end of the room where a pitcher of wine sits.

"Something tells me that this is not all you wish to discuss with me Hild."

"Perceptive as always Uhtred. No, it is not."

"Well?"

"She is...?"

"Who?"

"The young woman- is she...?"

Uhtred rolls his eyes. "Oh, Hild don't look at me like that..."

"Just a bit soon Uhtred, no?"

Uhtred sighs. "I've not forgotten about Gisela..."

Hild shakes her head and begins to pour herself and Uhtred a drink. "Well, she is your type Uhtred...and you do have a bit of a reputation built for these things..."

Uhtred smirks. "Oh, Hild you know you're the only woman for me." He says coming up behind the nun and grabbing at her waist affectionately.

Hild passes a cup to Uhtred. "Flatterer...we both know that is untrue."

"Ah, it could be true if only you would leave your God...I am not a man who likes to share you know." He says with a cheeky smirk.

Hild laughs.

"I mean it Hild...you're too good a woman for God alone."

"I'm aware Uhtred that I'm too good a woman for you..."

Uhtred smiles.

Hild takes a small sip of her drink. "Do you have a growing interest in the girl?"

"I thought you didn't care Hild?"

"Trust me, I don't. I have learned by now not to put much care or concern with regards to your wandering eye...I merely wish to know whether or not to warn the poor child of what she might find herself falling into..."

Uhtred waves his hand at her- brushing the comment away. "Hild, you wound me..."

"We both know you've got tougher skin than that..."

Uhtred chuckles.

"She is no replacement for Gisela, Uhtred, you need to know that." She says with a serious tone.

Uhtred groans. "I know Hild."

"And so...?"

"So...?"

"Your intentions with the girl...?"

Uhtred sighs. "I do not seek to replace the mother of my children Hild you need not worry about that...but I cannot say that I am entirely disinterested..."

Hild sighs. "Tread carefully Uhtred of Bebbanburg...for both her sake and your own..."

 

* * *

 

I sat in the great hall- leaning back in a wooden chair and waiting for Uhtred and Hild to finish up with their conversation. The door all of a sudden came flying open and Uhtred came hurrying out- he came out of the room with such suddenness that I damn near spilled backwards in my chair onto the floor. I quickly regained my balance and coughed uncomfortably to recover from my near embarrassing fall. Uhtred quickly scans me with his eyes- regards me and turns to leave out the front door.

"I shall be at the tavern." He yells out over his shoulder.

"Oh, uhh...okay! I'll see you guys there later I guess then!" I attempt to yell back at him- but to no avail since his distance likely ensured that my response remained unheard.

Hild stands in the opened door frame and regards me warmly. "So, Wren...tell me about yourself."

She walks over to me where I am sat at the table and tosses a linen dress over at me- which I manage to catch easily.

"Uh, what would you like to know?"

"Hmm...well I suppose anything you'd be willing to share. How was it that you ended up in our lord Uhtred's service?"

"Well...it was under less than favorable circumstances I'm afraid..." I feel my voice beginning to crack and a small lump starting to form in my throat. "He and the others saved me...and-" I instantly silence myself when I feel the crack coming on.

"Ahem, I'm sorry Hild...excuse me."

Hild nods solemnly...it was a story and a reaction that she herself was well familiar with.

"Yes...they do have a habit of doing that don't they..." She whispers quietly to herself.

I nod and swallow down the lump; and I begin to fidget with my hands and the fabric of the dress uncomfortably.

Hild gestures down to the linen dress in my hands. "Well...I thought that you could use a new set of clothes...and so I figured that you could borrow some of mine. It's not much but it is clean and should be better suited to town than armor."

"Thank you Hild. I appreciate it."

I examine the simple dark grey linen dress and let out a small chuckle.

Hild looks at me with a puzzled expression. "Is there something amusing?"

"No, not at all...really. I was just thinking about how long it's been since I've worn a dress. I really don't mind armor to be honest and I oftentimes find trousers more comfortable than dresses...so, I've just not worn them a lot since I've arrived here."

Hild lets out a small chuckle of her own this time. "It is no worry then...and as for trousers of that we can both agree...I too much prefer them."

"Why not wear them then?"

"Oh, I often do when I am able...but it is oftentimes seen as rather...unusual and uncouth for an abbess to wear such attire..."

I chuckle. "You're not like any other abbess though...you're certainly not like any of the nuns I've had experience with growing up."

"You are Christian then?" She says surprised.

"Don't look so surprised. And yes, I suppose you could kind of say that...I mean I was born and brought up in the church- my family was more religious than anything, and I was by proxy exposed to it through them and through schooling..." I laugh. "Actually, most of my experience with nuns was through my education as a child...they we're terrifying teachers I found...so count yourself lucky Hild that you're now working to change my opinion of them." I wink- smiling at the nun.

"You are learned then?"

"Again, don't seem so surprised now." I say with a chuckle.

"I'm sorry...it's just fairly uncommon is all...especially for a woman."

"Ah, yes...perhaps here it is. But, in my land everyone peasant and prince, man and woman alike are all educated...it's not seen as something all that unusual."

"It sounds lovely."

"It is. My home is quite...unusual but it is rather...progressive I'd say."

"Hmm...yes, certainly quite strange." She laughs. "But, I wager that these lands could very well learn a thing or two from your own...as strange and new as the lessons may be."

 

 

 


	15. "Liquid Courage & Stolen Kisses"

 

* * *

  

I entered the tavern to the loud sounds of laughter and revelry.

The tavern looked much like you'd imagine any other medieval tavern to look- a dark, candlelit, and cramped wooden interior with several sets of long tables/benches and a few smaller tables with chairs sitting adjacent to them. The clientele were loud and boisterous and the barmaids were lovely and wearing fake smiles. It was by all accounts a very typical medieval tavern on a very typical night.

The only thing that was different about the setting was me. I didn't feel typical; in fact, I felt far from it. I felt awkward when I walked in. I was definitely out of place and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I pulled anxiously at the linen fabric of the dress that Hild gave me. It fit awkwardly on my body- I was neither tall as Hild was, nor was I as slender...so the dress she had given me sat a tad bit too long and hugged a tad bit too tightly onto my curves.

The men all sat together at a table towards the back of the room. People crowded around the newly returned heroes and celebrated their homecoming. Several of the patrons would frequently approach Uhtred and congratulate him or offer well wishes and then buy him drinks. They all seemed happy to have their lord returned to them, and Uhtred seemed well loved by his community- a regular man of the people.

The men sat around and continued to drink and shit talk amongst themselves, as I continued to stand at the entrance- pulling at the awkwardly fitted dress and adjusting my loosely braided and pinned up hair. My hair had gotten quite long and unruly since arriving here (I blame the thickness of it and me being biracial for that), it was quite thick and wavy and always seemed to be in a messy state of unruliness. My hair I found was often big...and I mean an absolute lion's mane big. Now, normally one would think that such voluminous hair would give one a look of sensuality...like a retro sex symbol or something...but let me tell you it was a nightmare and a half to handle and tame- especially while doing such tasks as working a forge, engaging in combat, or traveling on the road. What I'm trying to say here is that sexiness is not practical...and never had I felt so impractical as I did now standing in the doorway of the tavern.

My dress accentuated all the things I had rather wished it hadn't...and it hugged my curves quite snuggly. I knew that it was not Hild's intention to make me feel this way, and that she had been only trying to help...but damn if I didn't miss the comfort of my armor and trousers right now; those fit comfortably and we're admittedly still rather form fitting but at least they covered a bit more of me up top and helped to somewhat disguise my womanly frame. I was at the very least thankful for the coat that I had cleverly decided to wear over the dress...which had served to somewhat cover me and preserve an inkling of my modesty.

I never had much of an issue with my body back in my own time but that was a whole different set of societal rules by which people followed (rules which I admittedly missed quite a bit...what can I say I really missed shorts, tank tops, yoga pants, and little black dresses...basically everything and anything that would have had me mistaken as some kind of harlot if worn here in this century); and plus in this time I had been working really hard at being respected as an equal member of the group and to have my qualities of intellect and talent be held to esteem not merely my appearance or sexual desirability. My discomfort didn't stem from the ill fitted dress alone however, in that it also didn't help that I basically was an exotic creature in this land...not many people Saxon or Dane seemed familiar with someone of my particular visage and appearance, so I was constantly having to combat curious looks and lecherous leers (I mean imagine traveling back in time to a place where you're literally the only person of color...it's like the ultimate _Get Out_ moment).

I already felt uncomfortable in new places, especially new places in this time, and especially getting to know new people...and God this dress wasn't helping my anxiety any. I felt uncomfortable, I felt awkward...and I felt...nervous? Was I actually nervous? Did I actually care what my new companions thought of me? I mean of course I wanted to be respected...but did I also secretly deep down want to be desired? Did I want to feel pretty...did I miss being just a girl, just a woman, with nothing to prove...just going out- getting gussied up and just having a good time? I honestly didn't know the answer...internally I felt as if I was at a crossroads. I wanted to be respected for more than my appearance- for more than some kind of fetishized exoticism. But I also just wanted to feel pretty...to have fun...to let go and just _carpe diem_ all over the damn place.

I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and headed over to the table where my new companions sat. The men instantly took notice of me coming over and began to whistle at me as I approached the table.

" _Har, har_...guys laugh it up. You can go pick your tongues off the floor at any time now." I said- plopping down onto the bench next to Osferth.

Osferth stares at me wide eyed- his face painted crimson. "My- milady...yo-you look- "

"Like an actual woman." Finan interrupts- a cheeky smile upon his face.

Uhtred smirks and chuckles. "Don't pay any mind to him, Wren...we- and especially Finan have not failed to notice you are a woman."

I scoff. "I don't know how I should take that exactly..."

Uhtred doesn't take his eyes off of me and speaks with a playful yet serious tone. "As a compliment...you look very lovely Wren." He smiles at me, while taking a sip of his drink.

I instantly look down at my hands, which I fidget with awkwardly in my lap. Finan- who is sitting next to Uhtred, and across from me, Osferth, and Sihtric; knits his brows tightly as he takes a drink- noticing the exchange between Uhtred and I. Uhtred and I smile at one another meekly and I look down once more at the table like a stupid shy school girl- my face starting to form a slight blush.

Finan slams down his glass onto the table and interrupts the moment between Uhtred and I.

"Aye! Well, 'ya seem behind there, lass...let's get 'ya a drink!" Finan says- shooting me a cheeky little wink.

I jump at the suddenness of the glass slamming down on the table, but soon release a small chuckle. "Ha, don't worry I'll catch up and have you all under the table soon enough!" I confidently say with a cheeky little wink of my own.

Finan grins widely. "Is that a challenge milady?"

"It is a promise."

 

* * *

 

Several drinks later and I didn't know what the hell I had gotten myself into. I mean like I've said before I'm an absolute fucking champ when it comes to drinking, but I'll be damned if these men- specifically Finan and Uhtred didn't give me a run for my money.

"I think you'll find that women are capable of a great number of things..." I say to Finan- slurring my words and pointing aggressively at him from over the table. "Including drinking all of your asses under the table!" My finger scans pointing across to all the men sat around me.

The men all laugh at me, and I rise up from the bench where I am seated- whipping around so suddenly that I stumble slightly and trip on the bottom of my dress. When I trip, I half expect to soon have my face meeting the dirt floor of the tavern, but instead I realize that I have promptly fallen onto the lap of the young monk Osferth. I sat there in the monk's lap staring up at him- unable to tell if he was mortified or incredibly excited by this sudden turn of events.

"You're a really pretty monk you know that Osferth...?" I say slapping at his cheek playfully.

Finan cackles, and I shoot up off of the young monks lap instantaneously. Osferth anxiously grabs his tankard and downs his drink in one go the second I've left his lap. (His face is complete crimson by the way, and he's gone more or less mute by now...it was both hilarious and positively adorable.)

"Another round!" I yell out happily- wobbling and falling back down onto the bench (and not onto Osferth this time) where I had been sat.

I turn to Sihtric who's quite inebriated himself- and start poking the man in the chest. "You know you're quite pretty too Sihtric..."

Finan snorts. "And what are we exactly lass? Are me and Uhtred here not handsome to 'ya?"

I scoff. "Pffsh...you're all pretty...infuriatingly pretty men! I hate it really. You hardly bathe, I've never seen you brush your teeth...you're gross eaters...but God you all still manage to look so damn pretty. It's really unfair."

Uhtred smirks. "You think I'm _pretty_?Not handsome?"

My eyes narrow onto Uhtred. "Don't fish sir."

Finan cocks an eyebrow. "Fish?"

"For compliments...something you yourself are quite adept at Finan." I say, now narrowing my gaze onto the cheeky Celt.

I belch, and quickly cover my mouth embarrassed. The men are dying laughing. "Oh...my...God...I'm so sorry. I am such a stupid sloppy drunk right now..."

Uhtred smiles. "Don't apologize, it is quite charming." He laughs- taking another sip of his drink.

I pull a face and mock what he's just said. "Stop being nice Uhtred or I'll make you hold my hair when I no doubt _up chuck_ later."

Uhtred laughs heartily. "Up chuck?"

"Vomit...puke...purge...all over the place. Like exorcist style."

Osferth turns to me concerned. "Exorcist?! Milady do you have a demon?!"

I cackle. "HA! Well, with too many drinks in me I suppose you could say that."

Sihtric snickers. "Oh, she'll feel like she has one come morning."

Finan laughs. "As will 'ya mate- 'ya not been exactly goin' light 'ya self."

The barmaid comes around and places more drinks in front of us. I quickly grab the woman's face and give her a big kiss on the cheek- which elicits several stunned stares and fits of boisterous laughter from the men.

"MWAH! I love you, random barmaid! You are an absolute queen! You know that...?" I grab at a random tankard placed in front of us excitedly- downing it with ease. The woman laughs nervously and quickly makes her leave from our table and away from the absolute train wreck that is me.

"Oi, 'ya wanna pace 'ya self there girlie?"

I look up at Finan with a lazy expression and blow a strand of loose hair from my face. "This is still a challenge no? You gonna drink or you gonna be a little bitch and keep talking?"

Sihtric and Uhtred start laughing so hard they begin to choke on their drinks.

"Aye, well met there, lass...I'll show 'ya how me and my kin drink 'wit the best of 'em."

I take another chug and blow another annoying loose strand of hair from my face. "Pffsh, whatever...you're a big talker you know that Finan- like, I know that you _Scots_ can hold your liquor and all, but you'll find that you've got nothing on me and- "

Finan spit takes, Sihtric chokes on his drink, and Uhtred bellows with laughter- which has me completely and utterly in a state of confusion.

"I'm not bloody Scottish- how dare 'ya mistake me for those mad fuckin' shites."

I start to giggle at first but then cough- regaining my composure and exuding a manner of all seriousness. "Oh, well shit...sorry my bad. Simple mistake." I end up breaking and cracking a small smile.

Finan scoffs. "Ain't nothin' simple about it lass we sound nothin' alike..."

"Ermm...well...you kind of do though..."

Finan's mouth gapes open and closed like a fish. "In what bloody world do 'ya think an Irishman sounds like a fuckin' Scot?!"

Uhtred downs his drink quickly, smirks, and turns to Finan- pushing a group of empty tankards to him. "Why don't you get us all some more ale my _Scottish_ friend?"

Finan rolls his eyes. "Aye, milord..." He does a mock bow and Uhtred laughs.

Uhtred turns to me. "On the topic of homelands, where is it that you hail from lady Wren? You yourself are clearly not Saxon or Dane...and definitely not Irish or a Scot- although admittedly you are as terrifying as one in battle." He laughs.

"First off, please just Wren...I really don't get all this _lady_ or _milady_ stuff that you lot do...just call me Wren- it's so much easier...and it sounds way less weird." I hiccup, and the men chuckle. "Excuse me...uhhh, as I was saying- there's really no need for formalities with me...and errm, well...it's a bit complicated...to uh- say the least...it's very very far away...and well very foreign- my homeland that is." I try to take a drink but am saddened to realize that my glass now lies empty.

Uhtred's eyes bore into me. "I am intrigued, how very foreign?"

"Ha, more foreign than you can imagine...you could even say that it's like being in a completely different time altogether." I smirk- laughing inwardly to myself.

Finan comes back and interrupts us- slamming the tankards down onto the table in front of us and spilling a little. "There 'ya go milord drink up- and know I left all 'ya shite's a special little somethin' in there too."

I look at the drink in disgust, and Finan smirks.

Uhtred laughs and just drinks it, ignoring the fact that Finan likely just spat in all our drinks. "How kind of you friend."

I stare at Sihtric, and he just shrugs and takes a drink. "Waste not, want not."

I turn to Osferth to try and gauge his reaction, but I see that the monk is passed out and fast asleep atop the table.

Finan grins and begins to poke at the young monk's head- he doesn't move an inch. "Awh, look at the baby monk sleepin' one off!"

Osferth begins to snore lightly and all the men at the table start snorting in amusement.

I sigh and with great displeasure take a drink. "Just so you know Irishman where I'm from this isn't usually how one swaps spit with those they like."

This time Uhtred does a spit take- the whole table breaks out into laughter.

Finan cocks an eyebrow. "Aye, is that so?"

(Fuck my life...and my mouth.)

"Tha- that is so not what I meant."

(It wasn't what I had meant initially- or at least consciously...but in retrospect maybe it was me trying to be a bit of a cheeky fuck due to the effects of the drink...that or I just couldn't resist the urge to be a smartass. Honestly, I really do blame the liquid libation for the sudden foot in mouth that I was experiencing...but, I mean to look on the bright side at least I wasn't dancing atop any tables yet...that's something right? RIGHT?)

Finan grins the widest and most shit-eating grin I've ever seen. "Well, count me intrigued lass...how is it that 'ya and 'ya people- how do 'ya put it...swap spit?"

Uhtred grins a shit-eating grin of his own this time. "Yes, I am curious as well."

They both stare at me smirking and eyes gleaming.

"Ughh...I'm not answering this..."

"Aye, just tryin' to get to know milady's cultural customs is all..."

"Yes, I too would like to know the in's and out's of your lands _swapping of spit_."

"Sihtric you gonna help me out here buddy or just leave me here to the wolves?"

Sihtric chuckles and keeps drinking. "You've made your bed I'm afraid...there's not much I can do to keep these wolves at bay."

They continue to laugh and stare expectantly at me.

I try to ignore them, but they continue to stare at me. "What? What do you want a fucking demonstration of it?"

Finan laughs. "I wouldn't say no..."

"Neither would I..." Uhtred says, smirking.

"Ugghh...you guys are no better than prepubescent boys..."

"Prepubescent?" Sihtric looks puzzled as he repeats the unfamiliar word.

"Boys whose balls have yet to drop..."

Sihtric snorts and cackles. "Accurate description then."

Finan stumbles over to me and Sihtric and hangs off our shoulders. "Aye, very colorful imagery 'ya got there, lass but I have 'ya know I got balls that hang for days and- "

"UGH, I'm just going to stop you right there! Way too much information!" I say, laughing.

Uhtred chuckles. "Yes, Finan we do not need nor want to know about your bollocks..."

Finan shrugs. "Felt the need to defend myself and the lad's milord..." He takes another drink.

I laugh. "While I'm sure you're the picture of virility Finan...I seriously could have done without that particular image scaring my mind..."

Sihtric chuckles. "I as well."

"Oh, is that so mate?" Finan says- smiling cheekily.

Sihtric smirks. "Yes, 'tis a horrifying image- your bollocks."

"Oh, 'tis it?"

"Aye, mere sight of them makes children cry and women weep." Sihtric grins, taking another sip of his drink.

"Ya'll find they make them weep with joy 'ya right proper cheeky shite."

"It's a blessing they are even able to stand the mere sight of them- though I wager drink helps with that..." He continues, smirking.

Me and Uhtred are cracking up at the scene before us.

"Oi, 'ya little shite gobbler!" Finan jumps up and lunges at the small Dane- hopping across the table.

They chase after each other for a while, before Finan finally manages to catch Sihtric- putting him in a headlock and giving him a noogie.

 

* * *

 

The night dragged on and we kept drinking more and more.

(And no...before you go there- I did not end up dancing atop any tables for your information.)

I did manage to drink Sihtric quite literally under the table though; and he now lay curled up under the long table fast asleep and hugging onto a tankard whilst mumbling incoherently in Danish as he slept. Osferth continued to snore while face planted on the table. That left just me, Finan, and Uhtred semi-conscious still. I say semi because God we were fucked.

I barely remember what we even discussed as the night went on, but I'll tell you this much...the more we all drank the more incoherent we all got. We quite often had about four different languages being spoken at random intervals simultaneously- we would start in English, then somehow, I'd veer into Spanish, Finan then into Gaelic, and Uhtred would break into a weird mix of English and Danish at the same time. The evening devolved into a _drunken tower of babel_ essentially...but we were all having a grand time, nevertheless.

However, I frequently caught both men staring at me in the most unusual of ways and I wasn't sure how to interpret it given my drunken state. Was it concern? Was it curiosity? Was it drunken lust? Or was it something else entirely? I began to notice that the two men seemed to be competing a bit here and there throughout the night as well, which I found most unusual. Competition over who would drink more, who would go grab more drinks, who would help my drunken ass up when I stumbled, the smallest most simple things the two men seemed to be competing over.

At one point there had been a moment where it was just Uhtred and I seated alone at the table, since Finan had gone up to grab another round.

Uhtred went over to join me on the other side of the table and scooted close to me where I sat- his leg touching mine just ever so slightly...but enough to set ablaze a slight blush upon my face.

He then leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I meant what I said earlier Wren...you do look most lovely tonight...although admittedly I find that you look lovely most nights." Uhtred says- his breath hot and heavy in my ear.

I listen to Uhtred, my face a fiery crimson hue; and as I stare ahead across the room, I see Finan glaring at the two of us. The Irishman and I briefly make eye contact before he then takes a quick drink out of his tankard, coughs, and averts his eyes from mine. He soon very quickly turns his attentions to a young and pretty barmaid that flitters across his path. He pulls her to him and begins to lay the charm on thick. She giggles and playfully pats his chest.

Was...was Finan trying to make me jealous?

I found myself inexplicably perturbed...not because I liked him...Finan God no! That womanizer could flirt with and fuck whoever he wanted...I was just disturbed by the fact that he thought that such an obvious ploy would bother me to begin with. The man was seriously misguided and wholly deluded if he thought that I gave two shits about him or about any of that.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" Uhtred whispers to me.

My stomach flips and I feel hot all over...and I'm not sure if it's from all the drink or from Uhtred's close proximity to me.

He turns my face towards his. "Come here. Look at me." He says.

I stare at Uhtred's incredibly handsome face, becoming lost in his piercing blue eyes.

"I would like to...know you Wren..." His finger traces my jawline and he stare's intensely at me and my slightly open lips. "Would you care to leave here...with me?"

Uhtred stares at me curiously with lust filled eyes- waiting for my answer.

"I-I...would like nothing more..." I find myself whispering over to him in response- my voice thick and honeyed with desire.

He smiles wolfishly and continues to whisper sweet drunken nothings in my ear, and I can't help but giggle in response. Uhtred was charming...he was gorgeous and we both were vibing pretty hard.

(Not to mention it had literally been thousands of years since I had gotten any. Just saying. - _Yay, time travel...am I right?_ )

At this point we both rose from our seats and stumbled away from the table. Hand in hand we started to leave the tavern together on wobbly legs- using one another's body as support. On our way out, I turned back to see Finan with the barmaid now atop his lap- he briefly made eye contact with me before turning his attentions back to the young pretty thing in front of him. They kiss and I turn away, leaving out the door arms locked with the warrior Uhtred.

 

* * *

 

This kiss (or more appropriately stated- the kisses) were _a liquid and lip induced lysergic bliss_.

The touch of Uhtred's lips on mine left the feeling of a residual heat upon them, and a flutter of excitement in the pit of my stomach. It was fast. It was rough. It was exciting. It was by all accounts perfect.

_Perfect. It had been perfect..._

What had just happened...? My mind was left reeling...and I couldn't even process how far we had gone earlier.

We we're walking (well stumbling) arm in arm- then the next thing I knew we were in an alley (I wasn't even sure who had dragged who into it) and we we're kissing...caressing...we were there in the dark like a bunch of horny teenagers. I had been thrown up against the wall of a building...his lips were on mine, then they were on my neck. I nipped at his earlobe...pulled at his lower lip with my teeth- he growled into my mouth and captured me in a hot embrace...my hands went for his breeches...his hands pushed the fabric of my dress upwards. He was kissing my collarbone, my neck...and then...

"Gisela..." He whispered hot heavy breaths into my ear.

Just what every girl wanted to hear while in the throes of passion with a guy they were starting to like...the name of their ex.

"Fuck!" I say kicking up some dirt, leaves and rocks.

I remembered his hands sliding up my dress, caressing my curves...his lips on my skin...the tingling sensation that his hot kisses had left. I remembered it all. I remembered the stinging static electricity that was produced when our lips first came crashing together. It was like the waves of a storm...the whole encounter could be best described as that in fact. A storm...a fast...destructive storm...a tempest of temptation and a hurricane of alcohol induced bad decisions and morning after regrets.

If I knew just how stupid it was...if I knew it was a mistake...a misunderstanding born of intoxication and mutual loneliness...then why did it hurt so much? Why was I so pissed?

"UGHHH!"

Was I angry at Uhtred or was I angry with myself?

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

Had I really misread that whole situation?

"Fuuuuccckkk!"

And why did I misread it anyways? Was I secretly hoping deep down for something more serious with Uhtred and less casual?

My body had been screaming yes...and I know deep down it was scolding me for being a dumb bitch and not just rolling with it all...but I didn't want to just ignore it...ignore what was said and wake up later the next morning dealing with the ramifications. I decided not to be impulsive, not to be stupid...and God did a part of me regret that...the physical part of me. The mental and emotional part of me was patting myself on the back and commending me for my maturity and strength...the mental and emotional part of me was fucking stupid.

It was the right thing to do...I knew it was...Uhtred was way too drunk and way too emotionally vulnerable to allow anything between us to be taken further. It was for both our sakes that I had ended it when I did. But, that didn't mean that I wasn't fucking pissed about the whole thing.

 

 

 


	16. "A Moonlit Gambit"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Minor drug use/references up ahead.]

 

* * *

 

I managed to somehow drunkenly figure out how to make a small little fire out of scraps of kindling and flint that I had miraculously stashed in my pocket; and then used that small fire subsequently to light a small torch. I used that small torch to help light my way to the small pond/lake that was seated off a ways within the town itself. I figured that the last thing I needed was to stumble over drunk into a cold pond in the middle of the night and end up drowning...so the torch served as a precautionary tool to prevent any drunken mishaps.

(Also, I figured that I'd already got myself into enough shit tonight without adding accidental death to the list.)

The benefit of the small light was that it offered me a semblance of some kind of vision...I mean most things in my line of sight were blurry and kind of wobbling all over the place given my inebriated state but at least I could see somewhat now in the dark. The moon shone bright, but it was still pitch-black outside. The small town of Cookham sat still and quiet. I wasn't sure how many hours had passed exactly but I wagered that it had to be rather late because not a soul walked the street or could be found outside save me holding my small torch.

I made my way to the pond, and was overjoyed to find it quiet, still, and abandoned. I needed the privacy that this body of water offered to decompress, to blow off steam...to vent my frustrations out without anyone seeing me and taking me for a complete madwoman...and in all honesty I needed the alone time to just sober up some and deal with everything that had just transpired between Uhtred and myself. I had been fortunate enough that the encounter with Uhtred had ended in a somewhat sobering way in itself (basically it was the equivalent of having ice cold water thrown over your head); this encounter had allowed me enough clarity and steadiness to somehow manage lighting the torch I had procured and make my way over to the secluded body of water that I now found myself standing in front of. Like I said I somehow managed to _noodle-leg_ my drunk ass over to the seclusion and tranquility of this here pond, where I now stood kicking up dirt and unleashing streams of frustrated groans and bilingual profanities.

High tensioned emotional confusion paired with sexual frustration and intoxication made for a complete mess of a human being...a sloppy, ungraceful...mess of a human being- that had been me. I had been kicking up random bits of dirt and stone on the ground, and had stumbled forward on a rather large (I say large to save face...but in all honesty people it was basically the equivalent of a large pebble) so...like I said there had been this _large_...and I mean _huge_ protruding stone sticking out of the ground, which I hadn't been expecting at all and which caused me to lose my balance and sent my drunk ass spiraling forward onto my face.

"Owwhh...fuck." I say, lifting my face out of the dirt and spitting up bits of grass and leaves.

My torch went flying out of my hand and had luckily somehow managed to land in front of me and stay lit without setting the ground aflame. Which was a blessing because the last thing I needed for this night was to set the whole of Cookham accidentally ablaze.

I stared at the torch lying in front of me on the ground. "Well, thank fuck for small miracles..."

I got up to my feet and began to wipe myself down, brushing dirt and leaves from myself and fixing my disheveled attire and hair.

"I don't know why I even fucking try." I say, externally while trying to fix my braided updo.

I sigh heavily. "Ugh, just fuck it." I end up unpinning my hair and just leave it a mess of loose hanging braids and disheveled strands.

I brush off my dress and jacket, and when I do so I feel a small lump inside one of my pockets. My eyes went wide when I felt it (the lump that is), and my face breaks into a wide grin.

"Oh...well small fucking miracles indeed."

 

* * *

 Finan's POV:

 

I stumble upon Wren standing by the bank of pond skipping stones and humming along pleasantly to a tune which I wasn't familiar with. She places something small to her lips and seems to inhale on it before continuing to hum and sing along softly- picking up another stone off the ground to skim along the water's edge.

A small torch sits on the ground- glowing faintly.

"'Ya know 'ya'll likely set something on fire if 'ya be leavin' the torch on the ground like that..."

She realizes I'm there and jumps- startled by my sudden presence.

Panicked, she asks me. "How long have you been standing there?!"

"Not long- but long enough. I didn't wanna interrupt 'ya."

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Wasn't my intention lass..."

We both get quiet and awkward. She shifts anxiously from one foot to the other- hiding her arms behind her back.

"Well? Can I help you with anything Finan? As you can see, I'm trying to be alone right now."

She coughs- and nervously averts her gaze from mine.

"Aye, well funny time for 'ya to be up and spending a moment alone and all..."

"Just needed to clear my head..."

"Aye, need any company?"

"Pffsh, no...and certainly not yours."

"Ahhhh, tough luck then girlie cause I was merely only askin' out of courtesy..."

Wren rolls her eyes.

"What do 'ya got there anyways?" I come up to her and try to get a peek behind her back at what she's hiding.

Wren shifts her eyes and jumps back- twirling around to keep whatever is behind her hidden. "I don't know what you're talking about I don't- "

I hop around to the other side of her and she spins once again trying to hide the small object in her hand.

"That thing- that little thing 'ya got hidden behind 'ya back there..."

"Ughhhh..."

I ask curiously. "What is it?"

Wren sighs, takes it from behind her back, and eyes me. "This?"

It's a small little rolled up piece of white parchment with smoke coming out of it that she seems to be putting to her lips.

"Aye."

Wren takes a drag from the small torch like stick. "This, this is not for you my friend."

"Pfft. I don't need 'ya woman to tell me what is and isn't for me."

Wren's eyes narrow on me, and she begins to scratch at her chin- seemingly pontificating and scheming some kind of dastardly plan for me.

The largest most devious looking grin begins to crack and spread across the small woman's face...and in that instance I wasn't sure if I should be intrigued by what she might soon propose or if I should be concerned.

"Alright, then..." She says with a wide devilish grin.

 

* * *

 Wren's POV:

 

So, let me begin to tell you all the intriguing and entertaining story of how I managed to make a wager with the Irishman known as _Finan the Agile_.

(By the way- I still was pretty skeptical about that name it should be noted...but alas that is an argument and discussion reserved for another day people...)

Anyways, onto the bet...and the moonlit gambit if you will...

Finan had seemed quite interested and keen to know about the joint I had been smoking. So, I figured what the hell...might as well salvage something of note from this shitty night. Also, in retrospect I was really drunk and really high at this point in time...so, my decision-making processes we're operating at an absolute negative over here.

Anyways, I bet Finan several pieces of silver that he wouldn't be able to not cough when smoking the joint for the first time.

(Seriously, it was the easiest money I have ever made people.)

I played it up quite a bit too with a lot of big talk about how what I was smoking was only reserved for the toughest of warriors in my land and that only those of strength, prowess, and absolute bravery would be able to handle the potent powers of the smoke. I basically had made this simple joint out to be like it was some kind of next level spiritual shit...like it would serve as a total test for him as both a man and a warrior.

(Sure, it was mean of me to do this; and, sure it was kind of coercive of me to do this to him...but God it was an opportunity that was just too funny to pass up...so, I decided to be a horrible person and just do it anyway. _YOLO,_ am I right?)

"Aye, 'ya don't have any silver lass...why would I even consider makin' such a wager with a pauper?"

"That's simple enough I can easily earn some...so when I first get work and earn some then- "

Finan interjects. "Aye, but that doesn't really help me in the here and now, now does it?"

My face scrunches up in concern. "Well then what do you want?"

He smirks deviously.

"Ugh, forget I asked..."

Finan chuckles. "Well, seeing as 'ya don't have any silver to be betting with and all..."

I sigh. "Stop beating around the bush Irishman- speak plain, what do you want?"

Finan smirks, his eyes alit with a playful glint. "Aye, just a kiss tis all lass..."

My face turns an instant shade of red, and I scoff. "Oh, is that all?"

"Aye, what say 'ya?"

"I say you're vile..."

Finan grins. "Afraid 'ya'll lose then girlie? I assure 'ya it's a win-win proposition for 'ya...if anythin' I'm the one takin' all the risks here."

I knew there was no possible way he could ever win this wager, but a small part of me still remained somewhat concerned that the impossible could be made possible this night and that I'd end up smacking lips with this infuriatingly annoying and arrogant man.

I sighed heavily- weighing my options for a moment before deciding to just roll the dice and leave it up to chance.

(I mean the odds still remained pretty favorable on my side of things...so I figured fuck it you know?)

"Alright, Irishman you're on."

I hand him the small joint and after showing him what to do, he takes a puff.

"Now, hold it in..."

He immediately starts coughing.

(Ha! Like taking candy from a baby.)

"Bloody hell it's like breathin' in the devil himself..." He says between coughing fits.

"Pay up Irishman." I say with a cheeky grin.

Finan's eyes scan me as I stand there with an all-knowing shit-eating grin. "Aye! 'Ya bloody well knew this would happen didn't 'ya?"

"I plead the fifth."

"You plead the what now?"

"The fifth...it means I don't have to say anything that might possibly incriminate me...now make like a leprechaun, follow that rainbow and get me my pot of gold."

He glares. "I'm not a bloody leprechaun..."

Finan has such a serious look on his face at that exact moment that I couldn't help but laugh.

"That's highly offensive 'ya know- just cause I'm Irish doesn't mean- "

"Alright, alright...just pay up..." I say, laughing.

"Aye, sure I can't interest 'ya in a wee little kiss lass?"

I scoff. "No, thank you I'd prefer the silver please."

Finan scoffs this time and reaches into his pocket retrieving a few silver coins. "Aye, here's 'ya 30 pieces 'ya Judas..."

I bow exaggeratedly to him and take the silver from him, swiftly pocketing it. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Pff, I feel like I've just been fleeced."

I laugh.

"So, what are 'ya doin' out here alone anyways lass? I figured 'ya would have been off 'wit...err- well...I figured 'ya wouldn't be alone..."

Finan seemed uncomfortable saying those last few words and his eyes now bore into me- searching for some kind of answer and remedy to his anxiety within my expression.

"Ahhh...well see...umm..."

I quickly change the subject, feeling rather uncomfortable myself with the topic of conversation.

I laugh nervously. "It's unimportant. Anyways, what happened to your lady friend?"

Finan chuckles. "What do 'ya mean?"

"Don't be shy Finan, I saw that pretty little barmaid you were with." I smirk at him- taking another hit off of the joint.

"Ahh...well her husband happened..." He says- smirking and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, shit." I tried to remain sympathetic and straight-faced, but I ended up coughing and cracking a little smile.

"Aye, it's okay to laugh...it was quite a humorous and precarious predicament I found myself in 'wit the fair lass."

"Ha, care to divulge the details?"

Finan shoots me with a faked aghast expression. "Why Wren are 'ya wonderin' about me private love life now?"

"I could care less about your private dealings Celt...I merely wish to know in what end did the husband stick a pitchfork in you..."

"Aye, why do 'ya assume the lad got the better of me?"

"Well did he?" I ask- cocking an eyebrow.

"Well...aye, he did...but- 'twas only 'cause he caught me 'wit me trousers down damn near ploughin' his wife...see the lad had the element of surprise on me 'twas all."

I laugh and roll my eyes. "You're a real class act you know that Finan."

"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're incorrigible."

"Aye, well it would appear we both weren't so lucky in love tonight..."

"Ugh...understatement of the century."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I scoff. "With you? No, thank you."

"Oi, 'ya may be surprised to know but I happen to be a bloody good listener girlie."

Finan takes his foot and stomps out the torch.

"Hey, what the fuck?!"

"Oi, lass 'ya likely gonna set a bloody fire that way 'ya know...plus there's plenty of light to be had 'wit these here stars tonight."

Finan plops down onto the grass and pats the ground, motioning me to take a seat next to him. "Come sit."

I stare at the Irishman with a degree of uncertainty before finally deciding to plop down next to him.

 

* * *

 

Finan and I sit there for a while in silence just looking up at the night sky and the light of the moon hitting the water's surface. He clears his throat and starts to talk about the alignment of stars and constellations.

"Shit, Finan I didn't know you knew so much about the cosmos...were you a sailor then in another life?"

Finan gets quiet all of a sudden. "'Ya could say that I spent a lot of time aboard a ship..."

I could sense that Finan didn't wish to take this conversation any further and I didn't wish to press the man or upset him, so I left things where they were.

I passed the joint back over to Finan- gesturing to him. He took hold of it and took another puff, this time it went down easier and he managed to not cough up a lung.

We resumed our silence for a bit until Finan finally broke it.

"'Ya know Wren...'ya have a lovely voice...it's a damn pity 'ya been hidin' it from us all." He says, playfully- smirking.

(There's the cheeky bastard that I knew.)

I laugh. "Should I start singing Osferth lullabies each night then?"

Finan laughs then smirks. "Aye, the lad would probably bloody love that- the baby monk is quite smitten 'wit 'ya."

"Ha, I know I find it very endearing."

"'Ya be toying with the poor lads' feelings 'ya know..."

He grins at me and passes the joint back over to me. "So, when is this stuff supposed to kick in?"

I chuckle. "Just wait it's different for everyone...plus you're kinda a big dude so it'll likely take a bit to hit you."

"Aye, is it a pleasant experience then?"

"It can be. Everyone is different."

"What's it like then?"

"Well, it's similar to being drunk I suppose...only you're really happy...then hungry...then sleepy- oh, and you laugh a lot."

"Ah, and is that how 'ya be feelin' now lass?"

"Well, I am kind of a bad example since I've probably tapered off a bit here now..." I take another deep inhale- holding the smoke in. "But, this one should get me back to where I was." I say before starting to cough- then laugh.

 

* * *

 

In a matter of ten minutes or so we're both on our backs laying in the grass and giggling like a bunch of stupid assholes.

"Bloody hell, I can't fuckin' move...I'm so fuckin' hungry but I can't fuckin' move..."

I cackle wildly.

"I miss food...good food. America has amazing food...God I miss pizza...and Chinese...and FUCK ice cream! ICE CREAM IS AMAZING WHEN HIGH!"

"I have no idea what the fuckin' hell 'ya bloody goin' on about lass..."

"Oh, God Finan...you would absolutely love ice cream..."

Finan bellows with laughter and then groans loudly as he starts to manage turning his large bemuscled body over to the side to face me.

"Ugh, I'd turn to face you right now too Finan but I'm kind of turtling right now...so I'll just move my head okay?"

He laughs- watching me as I move and crane my head to the side to look at him.

His dark eyes stare at me for the longest time.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I say- genuinely confused and growing paranoid by the look he's now giving me.

He reaches out a hand and touches the stone pendant that hangs around my neck.

"Tis a lovely stone...what is it?"

I swallow hard- staring deeply into Finan's dark eyes. "It's uh- it's moldavite..."

Finan's brows knit together in confusion. "Moldavite?"

"It's- it's...a meteorite...like from a falling star."

"So, this stone is from the heavens then?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, I guess it is..."

"It suits you then." He says, turning to lay back on his back.

"How so?"

"Well...it is both lovely and strange...and seemingly fallen out of place...it has found itself in a place that's not it's home...much like 'ya no?"

(If only he knew how true that was...)

"I guess you're right...I never thought about it like that before..."

A cheeky little grin spreads across his face and his eyes shift over to look at me. "Now, don't get too excited now. I'm not saying 'ya heaven fallen woman...a lass like 'ya is surely from hell sent up to torment us poor souls..."

I reach over and punch at his shoulder. "Really funny coming from a devil like you..."

Finan chuckles and rubs his arm as if he's injured. "Aye, I suppose we're both damnable beings then..."

I laugh and shoot him a little wink. "A match made in heaven...err- I mean hell."

Finan snorts and smiles.

We sit for a time under the star lit sky and just enjoy one another's company in silence...well short-lived silence because this is Finan we're talking about here...and we were both completely blasted out of our minds after all.

\--------

"'Ya should finish that song..."

"What?"

"The song 'ya were singin' and hummin' along to earlier..."

"You weren't supposed to hear that..."

"Ah, but I did."

"Yeah, but you weren't supposed to though...I thought I was alone."

"So, just pretend I'm not here then."

I laugh. "Ha, easier said than done sir."

Finan smirks. "C'mon I promise I won't laugh girlie- in fact I quite like the thought of being serenaded here under the moonlight..."

I chuckle. "I bet you do...but uhh- yeah...no..."

"C'mon...I'd quite like to know how the lovely song ends..."

"I don't even remember what the hell I was even singing."

"Pfft, then sing me anythin' that comes to 'ya then. Perhaps, a good foreign tune from 'ya homeland eh?"

"Oh, my God...no! I'd feel so stupid- plus, I'm way too high anyways! I doubt I could even remember anything or manage to get anything out coherently or on key..."

Finan laughs. "I'm hearin' a lot of excuses here girlie...and I'm surprised 'cause I didn't take 'ya for a bloody coward..."

I scoff. "I'm not a coward."

Finan laughs. "Prove it then lass."

I think it over for a moment and sigh heavily. "I will kill you if you laugh..."

Finan smirks cheekily. "Cross my heart milady...I promise to be a most attentive and respectful audience ever." He does the sign of the cross over himself.

I laugh. "You better be, or you will be having a needle put through your eye."

"A what now?"

"You know the whole _cross your heart_ thing- you know what...just- just forget it..."

I sit up, breathe in deeply, steady myself, and begin to pick up randomly in the middle of whatever song first manages to come to my mind.

 

_"Hmm..._

_I'm on my back again-_

_Dreaming of a time and place_

_Where you and I remain the best of friends_

_Even after all this ends..._

_Can we pretend?-_

_I'm on my- I'm on my back again-_

_It's seeming more and more..._

_Like all we ever do is see how far it bends_

_Before it breaks in half and then..._

_We bend it back again..._

_Guess I got caught in the middle of it_

_Yes I've been taught, got a little of it_

_In my blood- in my blood..._

_Memories burn like a forest fire_

_Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud..._

_In the flood..._

_When I was older_

_I was a sailor on an open sea..._

_But now I'm underwater..._

_And my skin is paler than it should ever be..._

_I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never_

_Seen anybody do it like I do it any better_

_I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors_

_Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether-_

_You'd really like it in the limelight-_

_You'd sympathize with all the bad guys-_

_I'm still a victim in my own right_

_But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah-_

_When I was older..._

_I was a sailor on an open sea..."_

 

Finan smiles and is speechless for a while. I feel awkward since he's just sitting there staring at me and not saying anything.

"Well?"

Finan coughs, then starts to clap his hands together lightly- cracking a small little smile.

"Don't you dare fucking laugh!"

"Aye, I'm not gonna laugh girlie. 'Twas quite a lovely little tune 'ya gave me. Strange, but lovely."

I turn away from looking at Finan and stare up at the star lit sky above.

"Thank you..."

"'Ya welcome."

Finan hoists his body upwards off the ground so that he's sitting up with me.

"You know...Finan you're not as bad as I thought you were..."

"Oh, is that so now? Is that supposed to be a compliment now then?"

I turn to him and smile. "Don't go flattering yourself now...you're still horrible..."

He smirks. "Just...less horrible...then?"

 

* * *

 Finan's POV:

 

We continue to sit along the bank of the water's edge and enjoy one another's company for what had very well felt like hours by now.

I stare at Wren- her hair is disheveled and she's an absolute mess of a woman. I honestly don't even understand what I found so damn alluring about her. She is attractive sure...there's no doubting that...but so are a lot of women.

She's the kind of woman that one would certainly like to bed...but that's it- nothing more. Except...with her it was something more...and it drove me absolutely and positively mad trying to figure out what that something more was. I couldn't quite place what I found appealing about her in particular and it bothered me. By all accounts she's the kind of woman I'd usually found myself never going for...and she's got several qualities that I found rather unappealing generally speaking- but on her...for some reason I found them _appealing_.

She was beautiful. She was smart too- quick witted and not easily fooled into falling for thick honeyed words like other women were. She was challenging. Almost too challenging. She was also strong willed, and she was so fucking stubborn. So stubborn you just wanted to throttle the damn woman. She was also completely and utterly fucking annoying and so bloody headstrong it was unbelievable. She drove me completely mad. She frustrated me.

But, she also spurred me on. I found myself loving the verbal spars we'd find ourselves engaged in, and I loved messing about with her just to see how far I could push the lass before getting a reaction out of her. It was fun fucking about with her and making her uncomfortable, and I found myself deriving an almost childlike glee from the entertainment of it all. I loved getting her so worked up that she'd turn crimson in either rage or embarrassment.

As time went on and as I had started to get to know Wren better- I had found that oddly I had begun to find her rather charming...lovely even. I found myself in constant want- nay, _in need_ of her presence around me. I still loved messing about with her...but I also became deeply concerned about her and the affects that such jests might have on her, and her opinion of me.

Seeing her leave with Uhtred tonight had strangely filled me with a kind of vile rage...but also an odd sense of loss and yearning. I didn't know what to make of how I was feeling. I was perplexed; it had been a long time since I had desired something beyond the physical intimacies of a woman's company. I didn't know what to do or how to approach these new strange and unfamiliar feelings I was having.

I eyed her and pursed my lips. My eyes scanning her body, and the fabric of the dress which hugs tightly on her curves. I look into her deep dark eyes and the thick lashes which frame them. I stare at the soft outline of her plump mouth, and I watch as she licks her lips- slightly wetting them.

"You're actually oddly...and weirdly kind of sweet you know that Finan...?"

I smile and all of a sudden find myself having the urge to kiss her and capture those plump lips for my own.

Suddenly my lust filled trance is broken- as she snaps her fingers in my face.

 

* * *

 Wren's POV:

 

I feel Finan staring at me long and hard- and I start to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. I quickly snap my fingers in his face (much like he's done to me several times before), to divert his attention away from me, and to disrupt the awkwardness of this particular moment.

"Oi?!" He says- startled.

"Fucking weirdo..." I say- rolling my eyes and turning my gaze away from him.

"Well, suppose it takes one to know one eh? Isn't that something 'ya be saying?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, I guess it is...you're lucky Irishman that I have a soft spot in my heart reserved for weirdos..." I reply- a small smirk playing on my face.

Finan laughs. "Told 'ya I'd wear 'ya down." He says with a cheeky grin and a wink.

I sigh- there's a momentary silence that falls between the two of us.

"Finan...you're really mind boggling you know that..."

"I'm what now?"

"Confusing..."

He laughs and scratches his beard. "Bit rich comin' from 'ya no?"

I quickly avert my eyes from him before he takes notice of me and take a long deep breath.

Silence falls over us once more.

"It's uhh...really quite a lovely night tonight..."

"Aye, that it is."

His hand reaches down slowly- hesitantly even, over towards my own, and his fingers lightly and gently graze against mine. I keep my hand still- unsure of whether to move it or not. His fingers begin to weave and interlock with my own- his hand now completely covering mine. His hand is warm and the second he touches me I feel a shock of electricity run through me, and my stomach and chest start to feel light and heated. My hand lies in his own now, and he continues to look outwards towards the moon and star lit water's edge.

"'Ya hands are tiny girlie...'ya know that?" He asks rhetorically. "I honestly wonder how such tiny wee hands can be so powerful as to wield a blade like 'ya do..."

I chuckle nervously. "Well, even David managed to down Goliath..."

Finan laughs. "Aye, fair point lass."

The feeling of my hand enveloped in Finan's was nice...and strangely comforting. But, I began to feel weird and awkward- so, I ended up pulling away from him.

I shoot him a look and sigh heavily- flopping back onto my back to lay in the grass. "How can you be so...so...frustrating...yet also like this...?"

Finan stares at me in confusion. "Like what?"

"I don't know what to make of you half the time Irishman...and I'm not sure if I want to stab you or...or if I want to...if I want to...oh God- "

What happened next quite honestly could have been the most sensational ending to this fine evening ever. Seriously, I mean that both sincerely and sarcastically.

At that precise moment in time...I found myself quickly turning over and promptly vomiting all over the damn place.

(It was so sexy...trust me...it really really cemented the mood. Let me tell you...)

Finan stares at me turned over to my side- whilst I profusely purge the contents remaining in my stomach, and sighs heavily. "Well, bloody good end to a wretched evening for us both it would seem...c'mon let's get 'ya up and cleaned..."

He helps to raise me up to a seated position; and takes his sleeve and begins to wipe the vomit from the corners of my mouth and chin. His eyes stare down at me affectionately- filled with depths of concern. A small wrinkle of worry creases and forms upon his brow and forehead.

Finan continues to stare at me as he wipes my face clean. When he's finished- he then gently brushes a loose strand of hair back behind my ear and takes a small leaf out of my disheveled mane.

I groan. "Ughhh, I know I'm basically like the pinnacle of attraction right now- aren't I?"

Finan smiles. "Aye, 'ya an absolute stunner right now lass..."

I laugh, and even Finan manages a small chuckle.

"Thanks, Finan...I'm sorry about...well everything." I say motioning to myself and the pile of vomit behind me.

"Ughh, I feel so stupid...I shouldn't have smoked and drank...fucking rookie mistake..."

"Rookie?" He repeats the unfamiliar word.

"Novice."

"Ah..."

"You know...you're being an absolute champ for your first time smoking Irishman- count me impressed...I'd have thought popping this cherry in you would have been at least more entertaining." I laugh, and then yawn.

"Poppin' cherry?"

I cackle. "I'm not explaining that one...somehow, I know I'll come to regret it if I do."

Finan smirks. "I take it it's likely something with a cheeky bit of a double meaning then eh?"

I tap him on his head. "Huh, I'm shocked...maybe there's something more in there after all..." I say, smiling.

Finan laughs, and I start to yawn again and stretch my arms out. I had suddenly become so tired that I found that I had quite a bit of difficulty keeping my eyes open. Finan and I continue to talk for a while still, until I started to feel the full pull of Morpheus's grasp lulling me to the land of nod.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Song lyrics referenced: "When I Was Older" by Billie Eilish.]


	17. "A Sovereigns Request & The Morning After"

 

* * *

 

Finan POV:

 

I awoke to Wren laying on my chest breathing softly. I gazed down at her peaceful form and admired how lovely she looked as she slept. I moved a small strand of hair out of her face and she stirred a little- shifting and going to hug my torso tightly as if she were a sleeping child and I were her doll. She was lightly snoring and drooling a little onto my chest, and by all accounts she looked positively ridiculous but also incredibly adorable. I couldn't help myself but smile and chuckle lightly.

The sunlight bore down onto us, and I figured that it had to be late morning or early afternoon given the current intensity and location of the sun in the sky. The light blinded me upon waking- causing my face to scrunch up in pain, and for me to audibly groan. I closed my eyes trying to save my vision from the sun's piercing onslaught but to no avail. I sighed heavily- once more looking down at the sleeping maiden who was currently using me as her pillow.

Last night had been wonderful; and waking up to her fast asleep in my arms was an absolute dream come true...but like with all dreams eventually you must wake up from them. This awakening and grounding back to reality took the form of a massive nauseous feeling coupled with the most excruciating head pain I've ever felt in my life. My heart and soul felt absolute euphoria, but the rest of me not so much, and the now very real consequences of my actions from the previous night came rushing back to me. I had the biggest headache upon waking and knew that the effects of the drink and the strange herb that Wren had given me last night would make my life this morning complete and utter hell. It was a small boon however, that I at least found some comfort and preparation for my hell, given this small piece of heaven that currently lay peacefully asleep and drooling upon my chest.

I dreaded the feeling of pain that would undoubtedly come once I rose to my feet and tried to make it through the day; but I dreaded the feeling of having to get up and remove Wren's sleeping form from my body even more. I wished that I could stay like this forever...with her.

We didn't make love or anything like that...but it didn't matter...this was enough for me for now. I found that I was just as happy taking care of her in other more nurturing ways rather than sexual. It was completely bewildering to me to be honest, and I really had begun to wonder what the hell this woman had done to bewitch me so. I felt not myself anymore. I felt like I didn't belong to myself anymore. I felt like all that I was, all that I would ever be... now belonged to the woman who lay fast asleep and drooling in my arms.

This woman would be the death of me...I just knew it...but, she'd also be my life.

 

* * *

Wren POV:

 

I completely didn't expect what I saw, when I opened my eyes. I was laying on the ground on what I had initially thought was a pillow, but what was in reality, a warm, masculine body. I looked up and realized that I was buried in Finan's chest, and that his hand was lying comfortably on my hip. I raised my head and what I saw shocked me even more. He was already awake and staring down at me with tender eyes, watching me sleep...like a total...creep.

I was instantly taken a back- and if I could have even begun feeling my body in any sort of capacity...I would have instantly shot up and moved away from the Irishman...but alas as my head and stomach churned and spun- they both reminded me that any action or movement was not an option or possibility at this particular moment.

"We didn't...? Did we...?" I managed to ask, my voice slightly cracking from my dry throat.

Finan laughs. "Nah, we didn't...but were 'ya hopin' that we did lass?" He questions, teasingly.

I groan. "Just...stop talking...my head is absolute murder right now."

Finan removes his hand from my hip and goes to rub at his forehead. "Of that we can both agree."

"So, we just fell asleep? Nothing... happened?"

"Aye, nothing happened."

I sigh a breath of relief. "Oh, thank God!"

"Oi, no need to feel so bloody happy about it."

I laugh and it hurts. "Owwh..." I rub at my own forehead now and try to sit up.

"Eh, take it easy lass- don't try and get up too quickly!" Finan warns, but it is too late.

"Ughhhh! Everything hurts! Why does it all fucking hurt...?!" I exclaim upon sitting up.

"Well, cause we drank the total sum of an entire army's worth of ale and mead last night lass and- " Finan at that precise moment tries sitting up himself- but ends up flopping back down onto the ground. "Owwhh...it really fuckin' does hurt...bloody hell..."

He groans and sighs heavily. "Just leave me girlie...this warrior is not going anywhere for several hours."

I groan this time in response to him. "Ugh, if I'm getting up so are you Irishman...no man left behind!" I rise wobbling up to my feet and reach a hand down to Finan outstretched. "Plus, the others are probably wondering where we are."

Finan takes my hand- and a mischievous glint flashes across his dark eyes.

At that moment instead of using my hand to help hoist himself up, he instead yanks me down with all his strength so that I've fallen quite literally on top of him. Our faces are close- nearly touching and he stares at me with an intensity I've not seen from him ever before.

"See...isn't this more comfortable lass?"

My face turns crimson- and I'm not sure whether it was the suddenness of my tumble forward onto him, that is having this effect on me or if it is the close proximity of our faces, his dark eyes piercing into me, or his hot breath upon my skin. I figured however, that it was probably likely a combination of all of the above.

"Don't be a fucking idiot Finan..." I manage to stammer out in a whisper.

"Aye, nothin' idiotic about this lass- I happen to think that this is the wisest decision of my life..." He whispers back- moving his face forward towards mine.

"How can you be so certain?"

"I can't- but sometimes things are worth the risk no?"

"Am I- is this a risk then?" I say, swallowing hard.

Finan smirks. "Aye, girlie 'ya the biggest risk of them all."

For a brief moment my eyes start to flutter, and I don't move as his face starts to get closer to my own.

All of a sudden, the chattering and laughter of villagers making their daily rounds can be heard closing in on us. The abrupt intrusion this sound makes on our private moment startles me and has a liberating effect which knocks me free of the spell I had been put under by the handsome rogue- and before I realize it, I am immediately scrambling away from Finan. My scramble was far from graceful however and I accidentally managed to knee him in the groin on my way up to my feet.

I stand above him now and clear my throat awkwardly- trying to quickly assemble a dignified air of confidence and control onto my face.

Finan cups his injured manhood and winces in pain. "Bloody fuckin' hell woman- aren't too careful 'wit the wares now are 'ya?!"

I clear my throat once again. "Well, my apologies...but seeing as I didn't intend on viewing or procuring those wares of yours forgive me if I'm not too sympathetic as to your- " I gesture to his crotch and clear my throat again. "...situation." I say- awkwardly turning from Finan and his injured manhood.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm sorry that that happened- but...you deserved it! And...I'll- uhh, I'll see you later in town!" I quickly storm off- making a swift retreat from Finan and moving as quickly away from him as my feet can carry me.

The intense awkwardness of the situation and the close proximity to Finan's lips where I had been but moments ago was jarring. I felt like complete and utter death upon waking this morning, and my mind was still reeling from last night's events with Uhtred, and now...now I had this new strange confusion over Finan.

He was merely jesting with me, wasn't he? He always liked to tease me, to push my buttons- all to see how far he could take things. Plus, he was rather notorious with women that much was widely known.

I didn't know what to think...I didn't desire to be made the butt of anyone's joke, nor did I desire to become a notch on someone's belt. I refused to be some mere conquest or to be the fool at the other end of some prank or wager.

 

* * *

Finan POV:

 

I watched as Wren quickly scurried away from me. She had accidentally kneed me in the groin in her mad dash to get to her feet and rush away from me. While, the lads did indeed hurt from the sudden onslaught, the temporary physical pain in all honesty paled in comparison to the emotional gut-wrenching pain that reverberated in my chest at her withdrawal from me.

I was confused...it was rare for a woman to deny me...and it- like many things which concerned this woman in particular was completely and utterly perplexing to me. I was uncertain in my feelings for her...there was an odd concern alit inside of me, and a self-conscious sort of feeling that I was not wholly familiar or comfortable with. I had always been so sure of myself, so confident...and with Wren I was neither- it was merely a facade, an illusion of confidence...and the illusion I feared was quickly fading. All of it was rather jarring to me. It was frustrating...she was frustrating.

I sighed heavily to myself as I watched her small limber and curvaceous form retreat from my line of sight. Perhaps, I came on to strongly? Perhaps that's what scared her off? Or perhaps she just merely fancied another- Uhtred perhaps? I could not blame her if she did...for it would be a hard-pressed position to find any woman that would turn down milord. But I will admit the idea of it all made me seethe with a kind rage I hadn't known was inside of me before. Was I jealous then? Did the idea of her with our lord Uhtred really bother me that much?

My confidence wavered...and for the first time ever perhaps even my loyalty for Uhtred began to waver some. I gave milord everything, we we're bonded as brothers...but was I prepared to give him even more? To let him have even more from me? Would I forsake our bond of brotherhood and break my oath, all for the affections of a woman I wasn't even sure fancied me?

I hoped that I was wrong in my wavering convictions...I prayed that I was. For this woman I felt had certainly begun to bewitch me...body and soul. What started as mere curiosity and annoyance...was starting to become more. It was blossoming into a most ardent fondness. A dangerous fondness.

I liked her...I began to feel an amorous affection towards her; and I feared those feelings...last time I felt that way my world came crashing down around me. I destroyed my life- my family's life...I lost my home, my family, my kingdom. I lost everything because of those feelings- the very same feelings I feared I was beginning to feel once more. I feared those feelings...and I feared the ramifications of those feelings even more.

What would I stand to lose this time if I dared follow my heart instead of my head? Was this a risk that I was prepared and willing to take?

 

* * *

Wren's POV:

 

What had just happened?

My heart was pounding in my chest like the drums of war and everything felt tight. I shouldn't feel this way...especially not because of Finan. He was the opposite of what I should be going for...he was impossible, irresponsible...horrible...irredeemable. He was frustrating...the kind of guy you wanted to throat punch not kiss. I couldn't understand why I had almost given in...why I had almost considered letting him kiss me.

Why was my body reacting this way? I felt sick...it was the hangover to be sure...but I felt more than just merely physically ill. I had both a physical hangover and a mental/emotional one as well.

As I approached the stables on my way towards the town center, I ran into Sihtric and Osferth leading some horses towards me. Sihtric the insufferable Dane looked fresh as a fucking daisy and I was flabbergasted (his drunk ass literally had passed out underneath a table last night yet here he stood perky and ready to meet the day full steam ahead); Osferth on the other hand was the complete opposite, and I was happy to see him following behind Sihtric slowly- looking red faced and puffy eyed (now that's how someone ought to look post a night of heavy drinking).

I approached both men and gave them a friendly wave and I nod of my head. Sihtric and Osferth acknowledge my greeting and return my nod in kind.

Sihtric with a lopsided little smirk, looks me up and down. "Rough night?"

I laugh and shake my head. "You don't even know the half of it..."

"Will you guys please speak quietly...God has seen it fit to punish me for my transgressions last night."

I cackle and pat poor Osferth on the back. "You're not the only one friend."

Sihtric bellows with laughter and Osferth groans.

I smile over to the two men and let out a small chuckle in response to Osferth who is now burying his face into the side of a horse and groaning. "By the way...I hate to ask but are we going somewhere Sihtric?"

"Aye, we are. The lord Uhtred has been summoned by king Edward to Winchester."

I stare at him in complete shock. "And we're leaving today?!"

"That's why we're readying the horses is it not?"

"Bu-but we just got here!"

Osferth clutches his head and groans once more. "Please, be quiet milady...I'm sorry I hate to ask it's just..."

"Oh, yes of course I'm so sorry Osferth..." I turn to Sihtric with a whisper. "But we've only just arrived? Why leave so soon? And after such a night?"

Sihtric lightly chuckles. "Well, celebrations were to be had for returning home...and well now celebrations are over, and business awaits." He shrugs it off, as if this whole thing is the most normal thing ever.

"Bu-but...we've not even had time to fully rest up after our last journey..."

"What is it you Christian's say? _No rest for the wicked_?"

This time I groan instead of Osferth. "No, need to quote that back to me Sihtric..."

Sihtric grins and tosses me my bag, armor, and the rest of my gear. "Hild gave it to me this morning. She sent her regrets at not being able to properly bid you farewell. She also said you could keep the dress." Sihtric, looks me up and down before shooting me a little wink.

I roll my eyes and grab my gear- putting what armor and additional clothes I could on over the dress accordingly and adjusting my sword belt firmly onto my waist.

"Will lord Uhtred be with us soon or-?" I ask curiously- but trying to feign disinterest.

Sihtric picks up on my not so subtle curiosity and smirks. "Uhtred, will be joining us shortly- he and the priest had some last-minute things to attend to." He rubs at this chin thoughtfully before continuing on teasingly. "Why Wren, do you have an interest in our lord Uhtred?"

I open my mouth to speak or stammer something quickly out but am silenced by the sudden appearance of a third-party member.

Now, usually, one would say _saved by the bell_ in this particular situation- but at this precise moment it was quite literally saved by the Irishman.

For at that moment Finan had quickly jogged up and joined us all.

"Oi, what did I miss?"

I immediately look away from Finan and look down to the ground with a slight blush creeping onto my face. Sihtric takes notice of this and his smirk widens. (Damn that insufferable Dane and his perceptiveness!)

"Ahhh...well then...now I see." Sihtric remarks- bemusedly.

"Aye, see what? What is it 'ya gettin' at 'ya little shite?" He says genuinely confused.

"Nothing really..." He laughs and seemingly changes the subject. "Did you have a good night Finan?"

"Aye, as good as most nights are expected to be 'ya cheeky wee fuck- again what are 'ya gettin' at here mate?"

Sihtric smiles. "Ahh, nothing...just wondering how your company was last night? I heard tell that you spent the evening with a most lovely and fair maiden." He says this with a cheeky smirk- his eyes casting their gaze upon me and then back to Finan.

(Again, I did say that this insufferable Dane was perceptive...)

Finan's brows knit and a small crease appears. "Aye, I did share the company of a most fair and lovely maiden...but I'll spare 'ya the details Sihtric for a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell..." He says the last part whilst glancing over at me.

"Ha, you're no gentleman though my Irish friend." The small Dane replies, teasingly.

"Aye, normally I'm not...but for this particular maiden I intend to be..."

He shoots me a sideways glance that I can feel on all sides of me- I quickly turn away and begin to brush at my horse and secure his saddle.

Sihtric was about to open his mouth to say something more...but quickly quiets himself at the abrupt appearance of lord Uhtred and father Beocca.

"Wren..."

Uhtred's voice startles me and I jump a little at the sound of it- whipping around quickly. Uhtred stands there and stares at me with warm apologetic eyes- full of a kind of soft affection and longing.

He then clears his throat and continues. "Sihtric, Osferth, Finan...so nice you are all here- saves us the time of having to track you down."

Uhtred stares at me and I immediately downcast my eyes and turn my attention back to my horse. My blush deepens and darkens, and my entire body feels both light and airy yet also on the verge of throwing up.

"So, we are off again then milord?" I manage to ask- throat dry and scratchy.

"Yes, important business to attend to...you will find that being oathbound to me means that very often we will not be still..." He says with a soft smile in my direction.

I crack a small smile in kind. "Ah, so expect my ass to calloused then from so long on horseback?" I jest.

Uhtred chuckles.

Finan's brows knit once more and the crease on his forehead between his eyes deepens as he stares at me and then at Uhtred who himself is staring at me. Finan clears his throat- effectively putting an end to the minor flirtations brewing between myself and Uhtred.

"Aye, well we ought to get a move on then shouldn't we milord?"

Uhtred looks at me briefly once more before finally regarding Finan. "Yes, indeed come all- time to get a move on."

And just like that we set off upon the Kings road towards Winchester.

 

 

 

 


	18. "The King's Road"

 

* * *

  

We rode in an awkward silence. Both Uhtred and Finan rode beside me, and I was effectively pinned between the two of them and their horses for most of the journey.

I didn't really even know how to begin dealing with the situation surrounding these two men...and honestly, I just wanted to forget any of it had ever happened and just go back to the way things were before that night. I wanted to pretend that everything was fine, that nothing happened, that I felt absolutely nothing. I wanted to close off my heart and reinforce and steady my mind going forward. I wanted to exorcise all physical and emotional sensations that manifested due to these two impossible men.

I could hardly stand one of them; and the other I had begun to like a bit too much I feared...which had left my heart completely open and vulnerable to an emotional battering ram of rejection. I was beyond confused and frustrated in so many ways. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend that nothing had happened and move on. I wanted to drown in an ocean of cognitive dissonance and denial. But alas I soon found that these two men on either side of me would make it damn near impossible to do so.

For they saw fit to constantly barrage me with their presence...even if neither of us said a word to one another- they were there. Always there. It was grating. It was unnerving. It was like they were little boys too afraid to ask whether we were all cool or not. It's like they were hesitant and unsure of whether or not they we're in trouble. So, they merely stalked me and made themselves always present- silently waiting for me to take the initiative and begin speaking...begin the process of ensuring them that _'yes, we are indeed cool guys no worries'._

But we were anything but. I didn't feel cool with them yet; and my platonic pretense was just that...a pretense.

It wasn't a terribly long ride to Winchester from Cookham, but we still decided to stop for the night in order to rest. Half our party was still feeling the effects of the night before and it was likely due to that very reason that we had decided to stop. That and Osferth was leaving pools of vomit along the Kings road like they we're breadcrumbs.

So, like I said we eventually stopped for the night to make camp. We made a fire, set our small tents up, and laid out our bedrolls. Before long we were all sitting around the fire enjoying a modest meal before bed.

The atmosphere around the fire hung thick with an uncomfortable silence that even the least perceptive of us all was able to easily pick up on. Sure, there was small talk- but it was the superficial kind of small talk. The kind of talk that just serves to make noise and put something out there into the air, not the kind of talk with any sort of rhyme, reason, meaning or significance.

I stared ahead down at the crackling flames of the fire. Across from me sat Uhtred- his blue eyes boring into me with flames reflecting in their sapphire orbs. I didn't want to look at Uhtred or his infuriatingly sexy and now literally smoldering gaze; but despite all inner protests, I found myself completely and utterly enraptured by him in this very moment. The flames of the fire stoked a new kind of desire in me, and a dangerous kind of exciting and foreboding feeling took residence in the pit of my stomach as I watched Uhtred watching me.

He smiled at me- taking a drink from his waterskin.

This was dangerous and stupid I kept telling myself inwardly- but like the fucking idiot I am I found myself cracking into a small coy little grin underneath the attentions of our half-Dane leader.

Finan sat adjacent to us both and stared at me and Uhtred. He sighed, grumbling something incoherently in Gaelic while poking at the fire with a stick in hand- turning over a small log in the process.

The Irishman clears his throat before finally daring to speak. "Ahem. So, Wren I thought 'ya might be able to grace us 'wit a song...'ya know like the one 'ya sung for me."

My eyes shoot up to Finan- who effectively just put me on blast to the whole group.

Finan looks up at me then over to Uhtred- gauging his response.

Uhtred clenches his jaw. "Oh, so you two spent time together then?"

I shoot daggers at Finan.

"Aye, last night."

"A gross exaggeration." I chuckle- trying to defend myself.

"The lass has got a lovely voice about her too." Finan continues.

"I see. And was there no one else in attendance to this private concert?"

"Excuse me? What is your meaning exactly here Uhtred?"

(I don't know exactly what the fuck Uhtred was trying to insinuate here...but I sure as hell was not having any of it.)

"Nay, 'twas a personal and private honor milady bestowed upon me- one I'm most grateful for too...my ears haven' a heard finer."

(I literally wanted to take Finan at this moment and throw him into the fire. He was effectively taking a night between two friends, where we were both fucked up and both had fun- clean, innocent, platonic, non-sexual fun...and he was inadvertently painting it out to be something less than innocent and something more than it was.)

Uhtred takes another drink from his waterskin- not even daring to look at me. "It's a shame Wren that you felt the need to hide your gift of song...and to only share this gift with Finan here."

(I understood the hidden meaning of Uhtred's words...essentially, he was painting me as a goddamn _homie-hopper_. Which was totally not true by the way- also...I couldn't help but start getting a little bit pissed off and hot underneath the collar; since effectively it was, he- Uhtred...the almighty and great fucking Dane slayer, who ruined that night by calling out the name of some random woman. So, again...how the fuck was I the bad guy here now?)

Father Beocca clears his throat- trying to alleviate the obvious building tension. Both Osferth and Sihtric sit quietly observing- choosing instead a wiser course of action, which would be to not become involved in whatever was transpiring here.

There was a growing tempest of rage brewing deep inside me, and I decided that I needed some fresh air away from the fire and the company of these men. I rose suddenly to my feet and started to immediately storm off.

"Where are you going?" Uhtred asks.

"To get some fucking air." I snap back at him.

Finan stares at me as I leave- his dark eyes full of longing and regret. He wants to rise and follow after me, but Sihtric places a hand on his arm to stop him. Sihtric shakes his head at Finan- dissuading him from that particular course of action. Uhtred ignoring Finan and Sihtric entirely- quickly rises to his own feet and rushes after me. Finan shakes his arm free of Sihtric's grasp and shoots him a steeled glare.

"Not worth it friend." Sihtric says softly to the Irishman.

As I begun to march away from the campfire- Uhtred must have followed after me. The half-Dane soon catches up and forcefully grabs my arm- turning me around so that I am now facing him.

"What?! What the fuck do you want Uhtred?!" I snarl at him.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

I scoff. "I'm getting some fresh air and leaving whatever fucking pissing contest is happening over there between you and Finan right now."

Uhtred scoffs this time. "As if you don't know what's happening woman..."

"Oh, well care to fucking enlighten me then?"

"You're toying with me- with us both!"

I start to sputter in disbelief and then start laughing. "Oh, please stop acting like I'm some kind of Goddamn temptress-"

"Aren't you though? Have you not completely bewitched me- bewitched Finan?" Uhtred shoots back- interrupting me.

"First off, Finan is bewitched by anything with a hole between its legs. And, second off do you forget how the fuck our night together ended?"

Uhtred quiets himself- rubbing the back of his neck.

"To be honest...I do not recall much from last evening. But it is clear that something has transpired between you and Finan-"

"Oh, my fucking God...I'm going to just stop you right there Uhtred!"

"So, you do not deny it then?!"

"Okay, listen here you dumb fuck- allow me to _enlighten you_ of a few things this time. First off nothing happened between me and Finan you fucking troglodyte; and second, you got no right to be offended or even jealous! You called me by another woman's name!"

I turn from Uhtred and begin to storm off again- needing desperately to put as much distance between myself and the Dane slayer as possible before I did something I would truly come to regret.

Uhtred is left standing there with a confused expression lining his face. "What's a _troglodyte_?" He utters to himself.

Soon I found myself alone underneath a small grove. I took the opportunity to practice my throwing skills and to release some of my anger by aiming my daggers at a tree in the distance.

Uhtred soon joins me sulking over to where I stand from the shadows.

"What do you want Uhtred- don't you see I have a knife?"

Uhtred smiles awkwardly- and chuckles. "Yes, I see that...and if I must say it's a most poor and unfortunate tree to find itself at the end of your blade."

I walk over to the tree and retrieve my dagger.

"Don't be cute Uhtred- what do you want?"

Uhtred sighs. "Look, I came to apologize...I- I didn't mean to presume that you and Finan- "

"That we fucked?"

Uhtred clenches his jaw.

"No, you didn't. And you shouldn't have- because that Uhtred...that is exactly what we would have done the other night had you not called me _Gisela._ "

Uhtred's gaze turns downcast, and his body tenses.

"Who is Gisela,Uhtred?"

Uhtred is quiet for a moment- and continues to not meet my gaze.

I sigh, heavily. "Fine, whatever- keep your fucking secrets. I'm going back to camp."

I turn to leave and Uhtred finally speaks.

"Gisela...is...she _was_ my wife."

I stop walking and turn to face him.

"Your wife?"

Uhtred nods gravely- swallowing hard.

"What happened to her?"

"She died- in childbirth..."

"Has it been long since she passed?"

"Nearly a year now."

"I'm...I'm sorry Uhtred- truly...I-I didn't know. I had no idea."

"I didn't tell you...it's my fault. I should have...and as for the other night- that remains my fault as well...I-I don't know why I did that...I shouldn't have said her name. That was wrong of me."

Uhtred starts rubbing at his forehead.

"It's okay Uhtred...truly."

"No, it isn't." He groans.

"No, seriously...in light of this new information- I kind of feel like I'm the asshole here now." I say with a chuckle.

Uhtred sighs. "You're not Wren. I am."

"You really aren't- and trust me it's fine...you obviously love her very much and- "

Uhtred continues- interrupting me. "Yes, I do...I did- I _loved_ her with all my heart and soul. But she was my past Wren...I need to move on. It is what Gisela would have wanted."

"What are you getting at Uhtred?"

Uhtred sighs. "I'd like to beg your forgiveness..."

"There really isn't anything to forgive Uhtred- "

"Just...just stop woman- let me say my peace." He groans.

I quiet myself and continue to listen to him without interrupting.

Uhtred continues. "I'd like to give whatever this is a shot...I'd like you to become my woman."

"Oh..."

"Is that- is that alright?"

"I mean...I'm one of your oath bound...does that not complicate matters? You're like basically my employer here..."

"Yes, there is certainly a complication in that regard...but I don't see why it should interfere with the personal wants and needs of us both-"

I laugh and let out a small huff. "Personal needs? Wants? Is that all this is then?"

"You misunderstand me Wren."

"So, is part of my duties now as your oathbound extend into bed warming? And pray tell, is this a duty just reserved for me because I'm a woman or do you ask Sihtric or Finan or Father Beocca to warm your bed as well?"

Uhtred cackles. "I'm afraid you're special in that regard." He leans in to whisper over to me. "And between you and me both- Sihtric has far too little meat on his bones to be effective at warming and Beocca snores far too loudly...and well Finan, you can trust that he would not be warming my bed for long given where his proclivities lie."

Uhtred smirks bemusedly at me. "And, so lady what say you of my proposition?"

"I will not be your whore Uhtred Ragnarson."

His brows furrow. "I'm not asking you to be. I'm asking you to be my woman."

I stare at Uhtred for a long time- taking in his expression and trying to read between the lines of his intent.

His blue eyes bore into me- serious and hard was his gaze. It pierced into my heart until eventually I found myself relenting.

"First off, Uhtred- I'm nobody's woman but my own. Let that be real fucking clear here. Second off, you're clearly not over your dead wife yet...and you need time to really sort that shit out."

"I have had time Wren. I wish to move on...and to move past it all- hopefully, with you if you will have me."

I sigh, heavily. "Any relationship moving forward is doomed from the start- especially, if it's haunted by the past. And I-I can't compete with ghosts Uhtred."

"I'm not asking you to. I merely ask for a chance to see where this might lead- a chance to see if...feelings that are brewing within might be genuine...that is all."

"Look, Uhtred I won't lie to you and say that I don't have a...well, a particular fondness towards you...but that doesn't mean I want to risk being strung along and left blowing in the wind should you decide that your feelings are misplaced."

Uhtred closes the distance between his body and my own, and out of instinct I look away. He grabs my chin and gently turns my face towards him.

"I sincerely doubt that will happen milady." He says- smiling tenderly down at me.

"What if it does happen though?"

His face inches closer to mine.

"What if doesn't?"

His face lies but a centimeter away from my own- and I feel his hot breath against my skin.

"But, what if it does...?" I say- swallowing hard.

Uhtred smiles against my lips then kisses me.

He pulls away slightly- resting his forehead against my own. The kiss was soft, gentle, and chaste- the complete opposite of what it had been last night.

"You're just going to have to trust me Wren."

 

 

  


	19. "The Boy King"

 

* * *

 

Winchester- 10th century- the next day

 

Before long we found ourselves in Winchester.

I hadn't travelled much since arriving here in medieval England; aside from what could be seen as merely traveling from point A (my village) to point B (Cookham- another virtual village); so, actually getting to see what was essentially considered to be the capital of this country at this time was a real source of excitement for me.

(That and we were going to meet a fucking King...a real life honest to God monarch; someone that I had literally read about in history class- okay, well...not so much read about but skimmed past his name in a book while doodling...in said book. Either way! This was a momentous occasion for a 21stcentury girl from L.A. I mean, sure he wasn't as famous as his father- but hell if Uhtred and this century taught me anything thus far it was that usually fame was misplaced, and recorded history was rarely accurate. And, again...I was going to meet a bloody King- an actual King...no fake crown wearing narcissist who signed my paychecks, but an actual blue-blooded anointed by God King.)

Now, slight monarch madness aside...Winchester itself wasn't much to look at- at least not by my modern-day privileged standards.

(But, let me tell you something folks about standards...when you get thrown backwards in time and are left trapped in the fucking dark ages- your standards go real low. REAL LOW. So, while Winchester certainly wasn't Sunset Boulevard or Hollywood; hell, it wasn't even the valley to be honest; it was by my now incredibly low standards...a goddamn metropolis.)

Okay, so once again bear with me and my low standards as I continue to regale you all with tales of this sprawling medieval mecca of civilization and my eventual audience with its king.

We made our way immediately from the stables to what could best be described as a large stone villa (disappointedly it was not a castle...and I was really perturbed by that to be honest, since it totally went against everything I had been expecting). We were soon greeted outside the main gates of the villa by a real bright fucking chipper man named Steapa.

(Okay, so let me pause and tell y'all a few things about this man Steapa. Firstly, I came to find out that this absolute Hench of a man with a sour attitude was essentially Edward's right hand- _erm, well fist it would be more appropriate to call him to be honest_...but basically, he was the muscle charged with protecting his Majesty. And secondly, he seemed to have a less than favorable attitude towards most people. In fact, at first, I was completely mistaken into believing he disliked Uhtred- and I was delighted when I later discovered that actually quite the opposite was true. The pair were essentially frenemies...which was a relationship dynamic that completely and utterly tickled me pink to be absolutely frank given the demeanors of both men. Also, Steapa in particular seemed to dislike Finan a great deal- but then again who didn't? It took a special human being to be able to put up with that Celts shit. However, with everyone else he either acted completely indifferent towards them or just outright ignored them. Basically, Steapa was one transparent cantankerous fuck.)

"Uhtred." Steapa said, regarding our leader.

"Steapa." Uhtred nods.

"Real ray of fucking sunshine that one is..." I whisper over to Sihtric who replies with a snicker.

Finan who overheard my comment contributes to the conversation. "Aye, 'ya shouldn't take anythin' that Steapa might say to heart lass, for he is a miserable cranky old shite anyway..."

Uhtred leans in close to whisper to me. "Steapa is alright...loyal like a dog to his king- but his bark is much worse than his bite." Uhtred winks at me and grins.

"So, did 'ya miss us big fella?" Finan says with a large grin- slapping Steapa playfully on the back.

"No."

"Eh, well...how goes it playin' nurse maid 'wit the young king then?"

Steapa rolls his eyes and groans. "Finan...I'm surprised a turd like you hasn't somehow managed to die yet."

Finan cackles. "Aye, chuck it up to the luck of the Irish I 'suppose- or the fact that I'm too good for either God or the Devil alone."

Beocca scoffs and lets out a small chuckle. "I hardly think they're in competition for your soul boy."

Sihtric snorts, and I hardly manage to stifle the small chuckle that escapes my own lips.

Steapa turns to me and gives me a quick once over; and all in all, he barely regards me at first. (I mean unless you count the briefest of curious looks and a mere grunt as a kind of total regard that is.)

"You have a new stray with you Uhtred..."

"Yes, this is Wren. She is my newest oathbound."

Steapa grunts. "You always did take in the most unusual sorts."

My eyes narrow on the large man in front of me as he continues to look me up and down.

(The warmer weather and the ever odd occurring English sunshine that we had as of late had begun to tan me considerably...I mean I wasn't by any means some kind of extra crispy dark as fuck Nubian princess over here, but I definitely was rocking a bronzed glow...and this glow it seemed served to further _other_ me in this strange land.)

"She's a strange lookin' one to be sure. How's her skill with the blade?" He says circling me appraisingly.

I begin to huff and start to interject but Finan is quick to interrupt me.

"Do 'ya wish to test it for 'yaself big fella? I'm sure she'd oblige 'ya a go in the ring." Finan says- smirking and shooting me a cheeky little wink.

Steapa scoffs. "Ha, I'd be up for it, Irishman- it's just that I'd hate to hurt such a pretty face while sparring...I'd imagine the group morale would decline significantly if it's ornament ended up damaged by my blade."

My face begins to contort in anger, and both Uhtred and Finan alike look over in my direction and recognize the rising tempest of rage that is beginning to boil beneath my surface.

Uhtred just sighs and shakes his head- bracing himself for the inevitable explosion I am about to unleash onto Steapa.

Finan however, takes the light-hearted and joking approach of trying to dispel the tension of the situation.

"Oi, what am I then big fella? Am I not pretty as well then?" Finan shoots the large warrior a shit-eating and rakish grin.

Steapa laughs and scoffs- rolling his eyes. "You're about as pretty as the arsehole of a mule, turd."

"You know what...Steapa is it?" I begin.

Steapa turns his attention away from Finan and back towards me.

"Aye, girl. What is it?"

I narrow my eyes and close the distance between myself and the large imposing man- making sure to get right into his face. "I would be more than willing to show you how pretty of an ornament I am in the ring- in fact, I'm sure you'd have quite a view through which to admire me by from the ground when I lay your ass firmly down upon it."

Steapa stares at me with a stern and steeled gaze for a long moment, before finally cracking a small grin and erupting into a roar of laughter.

"I don't know where the fuck you manage to find all these little shites Uhtred, but you have a way about you of adopting every last miserable turd that crosses your path it would seem...though at least this turd has balls unlike your Irishman here."

Finan begins to protest, and Steapa lets out another laugh before finally meeting my gaze with a small smile. "Aye, girl I'd like to see what you're capable of sometime. And, it would be most interesting to see you try and best me."

"Consider our match set then." I reply.

"Aye, I look forward to it." Steapa nods, then begins to lightly cough- clearing his throat. "Alright, well then enough dawdlin' you little shite's. Come on follow me- the king will see you now."

We all enter through the front gate of the villa passing through a small courtyard on our way towards the entrance to the kings less than humble abode. Entering what I assume was the main corridor we all stop outside of a large and imposing wooden door.

"Uhtred, father you shall come in- the rest of you will wait here."

It is also important I feel to note that we had left young Osferth in town earlier; in due consideration of the awkwardness of the overall situation. (Oh, yea I found out that the young monk was actually the late King's bastard... _juicy bit of drama indeed_ \- but to be totally honest I felt for the poor kid, it's hard growing up without a dad and even harder I imagine knowing who your dad is and knowing that you can never have a relationship with either him or your other siblings.)

So, given Osferth's more than understandable absence from this particular social call- the only ones who remained waiting outside the great hall was Finan, Sihtric, and I.

And, I for one hated waiting (patience was not my kind of virtue), and not to mention I was incredibly disappointed at the prospect of missing an opportunity to get to meet or even see a ruling monarch.

(America doesn't have kings, and apart from reading gossip magazines or watching the royal wedding on tv, I was never actually going to be able to ever get to see a member of royalty in my lifetime. So, I basically said fuck it, fortune favors the bold...and well I did something potentially stupid.)

I basically stupidly let my curiosity get the best of me; and as the door was beginning to shut behind Uhtred and father Beocca, I snuck a cheeky little peek into the room where the king was sat.

I stood there propped up on tip-toes like some kind of retarded meerkat and was instantly noticed. (Of course.)

I froze, literally still risen slightly off the ground in all my meerkat splendor- while my eyes locked with what I assumed was the young monarch.

"Who is that?" The young king asked.

The door had of course not been shut now...much to my embarrassment. (I had wanted to meet/see the king sure- but I didn't want to come off like some kind of weird deranged awkward fangirl in the process.)

Uhtred and Beocca turn to me.

Uhtred points and laughs. "Her?"

"Yes, clearly her. I see no other woman around aside from my mother here."

For the first time I finally noticed an older woman standing behind the throne of the king. The woman had a stoic expression and her face seemed...well, for lack of a better word or description- the woman seemed to have total resting bitch face.

Uhtred continues to chuckle and motions me forward into the room.

I shake my head at Uhtred, and Uhtred stares at me as if to nonverbally tell me that refusal is not an option.

"Shit." I whispered as I tried to literally sink into myself.

Finan cackles. Sihtric shoots me a bemused and snide little smirk.

"Well, go on girlie 'ya king beckons."

"He's not my fucking king Finan." I scoff and reply before actually thinking.

Finan bellows in laughter, and Steapa turns to shoot me a warning kind of glare- a small little sadistic kind of amusement pulls at the corners of the large warrior's mouth.

"Is that a smile I see pulling at your lips big guy?" I joke.

"Perhaps." Steapa replies, before pulling me forward into the room to join himself, Uhtred father Beocca, and the two monarchs.

I stumble forward into the great hall- the doors closing heavily behind me.

Uhtred just stares at me bemusedly; and Beocca sighs heavily before speaking.

"Milord, milady...this is our lord Uhtred's most recent oath-bound the lady Wren."

The queen mother known as Aelswith eyes me disapprovingly and then scoffs. "That is not a lady father."

(Excuse me bitch?)

"I am not sure what...exactly that is...but it most certainly is not a lady-" She continues- gesturing over to me.

The king slams his hands down on the sides of his throne- interrupting the former queen. "Mother, enough!"

Aelswith jumps- startled; and stares in confusion down at her son.

"I will not have you be rude to our lord Uhtred and to those who serve him."

"You are too kind to these pagan's son." She says, glaring at both Uhtred and I.

Beocca clears his throat. "Actually, madam not all present company is pagan."

"Yes, of course father. I was not referring to you- "

"Actually, milady I was referring to the lady Wren here...she is not pagan."

Aelswith looks completely taken aback by these words and absolutely baffled at the prospect of me not being a pagan.

"You are Christian milady?" Edward asks curiously.

"Yes, your majesty...I was baptized and educated in the church."

( _They didn't need to know that I was actually probably a bigger heathen than Uhtred._ )

Uhtred is smirking like the cat who ate the canary- likely, because of the fact that he himself knew how godless I was. (Shit, even Beocca knew my ass was a sinner- though, I appreciated the father coming up to bat for me against the great white terror better known as Aelswith.)

"Educated too? My how very interesting..." The king muses.

"Yes, completely surprising given her visage..." Aelswith adds, a look of indignation and minor disgust scrawled across her face.

"Apologies, milady that my _savage_ appearance isn't reflective or indicative of the nature you so clearly have already prescribed me..." I spit out in reply to the queen bitch herself.

Uhtred interjects- speaking up and clearing his throat.

"Wren hails from a very distant and foreign land where a great many things differ from our own, but I assure you she is very quickly proving herself to be a most loyal and most effective warrior."

Aelswith scoffs. "Absolutely, inappropriate and godless for a woman to take up arms..."

"Wasn't the Abbess Hild once a warrior herself?" I interject.

"Yes, and she has since repented."

I scoff. "Isn't repenting supposed to be for sins?"

"Yes, and a sin it was for a woman- indeed, even more so a woman of her station to disgrace herself running about so..."

I laugh this time at the ridiculousness of this woman's backwards beliefs. "Is it a sin to defend yourself and others?"

"Dressed as a man and in the company of pagan's, yes."

"Would it be better for you and for God if I wear a dress then and go into battle alongside priests and clerics?"

Aelswith looks at me horrified I imagine both by the image I had just painted for her and by my boldness in making the statement itself. The boy king Edward smirks, trying to suppress his own small amused reaction. Steapa snorts, stifling a small chuckle. Uhtred just openly laughs in amusement at my reply. Beocca sighs heavily and just shakes his head.

"Pffsh, the way I figure...if God gives us the means to defend ourselves and others then we ought to use those means...no?"

She scoffs once more. "And, you claim to be a Christian...what shame you bring to our lord savior and his good name." She manages to stammer out in response to me. "Edward do you not see how you sully yourself and your fathers crown by entertaining such heathens? Will you allow this creature to continue to speak in such a way to me and in your very presence no less..."

"Mother, I have warned you before- I will not again." Edward says, glaring.

"Milady, do you not defend your son now with words? What differs then between the use of words or the use of steel? Some use words as a weapon to protect, while others prefer fist and steel...and it is quite presumptuous I must say to assume God's will or his desires in such areas- or in anything for that matter. Plus, was it not our savior who said _let he without sin cast the first stone_?"

Aelswith stares at me completely aghast and horrorstruck.

"I will not have the will of God preached to me by some pagan's whore." She spits out in offense.

I laugh and am momentarily bewildered at the absolute trifling nature of this horrible woman. "Excuse me? You want to say that again _cuca_ cause- "

Uhtred turns to me and glares. "Wren...don't."

Edward groans and rubs his forehead. "Mother, leave us at once."

Aelswith scoffs in indignation. "Edward, surely you are not serious?"

"I am quite serious mother. Now, leave us at once!"

"God, help my son to see the error of his ways...fraternizing with pagans and savages." She whispers- although still loudly enough for all to hear.

Edward rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.

His mother's form descends from behind the throne and makes to leave the room.

Aelswith glares at me and I smirk back at her smugly.

(Yea, take that you Queen Becky... _Que te jodan_ bitch.)

Uhtred turns to me and leans in to silently whisper. "As amusing as it is to see Aelswith with such an angry and puckered face- I think it would likely be a good idea if you were to leave us as well Wren."

I look at Uhtred confused.

(Was he seriously kicking me out? Was I really being thrown out from an audience with the king? I mean I know I got nasty with the queen mother there for a hot minute- but she totally started it!)

Aelswith eyes burn into me as she finally exits the room.

(At least I was given the satisfaction of being able to watch her leave the room first...that's one small victory I can give myself at the very least.)

I look over to father Beocca and find him staring at me- and it's the kind of stare a parent gives their child when they are trying to nonverbally tell them that they done fucked up and need to apologize immediately.

I sigh and avert my eyes from the priest- turning instead back to the young sovereign seated upon the throne.

I curtesy awkwardly as a sign of respect towards Edward before speaking. "Milord, I apologize for my previous words...I sometimes lose track of my mouth and I- "

King Edward lifts his hand to silence me.

"No, need to apologize at all milady. The fault lies entirely with myself and my mother...so if anyone is to apologize then it is I."

"Oh...I-I didn't expect that." I whisper- although apparently somehow Edward still managed to hear me.

He chuckles. "It is unusual I imagine hearing a king apologize."

I shrug and smile nervously. "Well...I won't say it is typical."

"Well, I do not plan on being a typical king."

I smile at Edward. "Well, then...that milord may work to your advantage."

Edward smiles back at me.

Uhtred smirks at me, impressed- seemingly gleaming with a small inkling of pride.

I avert my eyes- my face flushed suddenly with minor embarrassment. "Ahem, if you'll excuse me milord, I should probably leave you to discuss your business." I bow once more to the king and make to leave the great hall.

"It was a pleasure to meet you lady Wren. I hope that we shall meet again- and that our next meeting will be well-" He chuckles. "...far more hospitable."

I smile at the king. "I would like that milord."

"Father Beocca, if you would be so kind as to show the lady Wren out please? I would like to discuss many a thing with our lord Uhtred here."

"Yes, of course milord."

The priest smiles warmly at young Edward and then makes to leave the hall with me at his side.

Steapa regards us both and we return his regards in kind.

"I will see you both once our business here has concluded."

Beocca and I then nod at Uhtred and promptly exit the room.

 

* * *

 

I now stood outside the throne room waiting for Beocca to finish speaking with both Finan and Sihtric.

I figured the men were likely making plans to meet with Osferth at the local tavern instead of waiting God only how knows long for Uhtred and the king to finish discussing their business. It was indeed a sensible plan, and one I could easily get behind were it not for the lingering trauma of the hangover I had but just recovered from a day or two ago.

I shook my head almost violently as I remembered the nausea from hell and the lingering aches and pain induced from my poor decision-making that night. As fun as it is to drink with the lads (and putting all awkward semi romantic entanglements aside...it really truly is one hell of a time let me tell you), I did not wish for a repeat of that night and especially not a repeat of the morning which followed.

As I waited- I began to stare up at the architecture and structure of the stone medieval building in admiration; and, soon I found myself beginning to wander along the corridors aimlessly in awe. I felt like I was in a museum- that I was a virtual time tourist. And, while I knew I shouldn't wander off from the group and that it was stupid...I just couldn't help myself, I grew bored of the dude talk that was going on and I grew tired of waiting around.

(I mean surely a little exploration couldn't hurt any. And worse case I could just feign ignorance and claim I got lost no? I mean it was my first time here...certainly some leeway could be made.)

My fingertips traced the cold stone walls of the corridors as I went. My eyes traveling upwards along the intricately carved pillars and down along the stone cloisters, leading all the way up to the ceiling.

A pretty young thing dressed in an extravagant dress comes down the hallway followed by a flock of flowing skirts.

I was in a world of my own and hadn't been paying a single lick of attention when I almost found myself colliding head first into the group of finely dressed young women.

"Shit! I'm so sorry!"

The woman at the head of the group looked almost amused by my language; the other women however looked absolutely horrified at my use of the expletive.

"Ugh...I mean fuck- Uhh...I mean apologies! Sincerest, apologies ladies!" I manage to stammer out.

I bowed quickly and awkwardly- hoping that these noble women didn't see how stupidly flushed with embarrassment my face was.

The most finely dressed and pretty of the women at the head of the group let out a small giggle.

"It is quite alright."

I rise up to meet her face and smile nervously while rubbing the back of my neck.

"I know I probably shouldn't be here wandering about...I was just waiting and grew bored and well...I thought I'd admire some of the architecture." I say gesturing to the stone structure all around me.

"I see...well waiting around and boredom is something I myself am quite familiar with."

She smiles at me and I relax a little.

The women behind her all begin to sneer and shift uncomfortably.

"Come...perhaps, we can both be less bored in one another's company." She gestures for me to follow her.

A woman behind her begins to protest. "Milady, this is most inappropriate...you cannot simply go off with- with...whoever or whatever this is."

I roll my eyes at her comment. (I really should be getting used to this bullshit by now in all honesty.)

The head woman turns to her lady follower and glares. "Did I ask for your opinion milady?"

The woman shrinks into herself. "No, your majesty. My apologies."

My eyes widen upon hearing her words.

"You're majesty? Shit, you're the queen?! Uhh...I mean- ahem...you- you are the queen...milady. I- I uhh..."

The queen turns to address her flock of ladies.

"You all are dismissed."

"Bu-but milady!" A lady in waiting begins to protest.

"I said, you all may leave us now."

"Yes, of course your majesty."

The ladies in waiting curtesy then they all scatter, leaving both me and the apparent queen alone in the corridor.

The queen turns back to me, smiles and begins to chuckle. "Well, now...that is much better. I am afraid I am rarely allowed a semblance of privacy, so it's nice when I am able to manage it."

"But I am here milady...so you aren't technically alone."

"Yes, but something tells me you aren't likely to report my every action back to either my father or the queen mother." She says, smirking. "Come now, we shall walk and converse."

I laugh, taking the queens arm she has offered me. "Yea, I have met Aelswith...she is well-"

"Not agreeable?"

I cackle. "Yea...something like that."

She sighs. "Truth be told I was quite fond of her when I first arrived...but as the days went on and time came to pass, I find myself dreading her presence and well...I-I'm sorry I really shouldn't say such things about the king's mother."

I laugh. "No, it's quite alright. She doesn't seem to be the most warm or loving sort of woman."

"Oh, but she is...at least so far as Edward is concerned."

"But, not with you?"

"Not, entirely no..."

I chuckle. "It's kind of a tale as old as time no?"

"What is?"

"A wife not getting along with their mother in law."

"I suppose so..." She laughs. "I wouldn't say I exactly loathe my husband's mother- but, well...I definitely dislike being around her...she isn't particularly pleasant. Especially, as of late."

"Ha, understatement of the year...she's a right proper bitc- uhhh..." I manage to stop myself and begin to smile awkwardly at the queen. "I uhh- umm...ahem, sorry...apologies for- "

The queen interjects and gestures for me to stop talking. "Please, don't apologize...it's true." She laughs.

I chuckle nervously and begin to scratch anxiously at my head. We walk a bit in silence, before finally approaching a lovely little courtyard garden.

She begins to survey me with her gaze, before finally speaking. "I am curious though lady...you did not recognize me immediately as the queen...which is most unusual."

"Well, uhh...not immediately no- sorry your majesty." I chuckle, once again nervously rubbing the back of my neck and scratching my head.

She lets out a small giggle. "It's quite alright; it's actually quite refreshing not being recognized for once. And, please call me Aelflaed."

"Of course, Queen Aelflaed..."

Aelflaed laughs. "And you are lady?"

"Oh! Uh, Wren...just Wren, milady."

"Well, Wren- just Wren." She says- smiling. "What brings you to Winchester?"

"I am with the lord Uhtred."

The queen cocks an eyebrow and smirks.

"Uh, I mean to say that I am among the lord Uhtred's oath-bound...that is." I say, a slight blush painting my face.

"I see. How interesting...it is rare for me to have heard of a woman serving as an oath-bound guard...nevertheless, to actually see it for myself firsthand." She says, whilst smiling at me. "Is this a common practice where you originally are from? It is most uncommon here."

I chuckle. "What gave it away that I wasn't from here?"

She smirks at me. "Now, now...I may be young, and I may have been sheltered for most of my life, but I am not stupid...you clearly have a most foreign mark about you- not just in appearance but also in your action and mannerism."

"Indeed, I hope it does not offend...I have become most accustomed to a mixed assortment of reactions as of late."

The queen scoffs and lets out a small giggle. "No, of course not! In fact, I should very much like to see more variety in our realm...sameness grows mundane and- I well...I-I am sorry...I feel I have spoken too much...ahem, excuse me." A small blush appears on her majesty's face, and she quickly averts her eyes- her gaze shooting downcast to the floor.

"Your majesty- Aelflaed, I mean...you shouldn't apologize for expressing how you feel and what you think."

She raises her eyes to meet my own. "It...it is not viewed favorably for me...as a woman to express my opinions. I am given more privilege than most given my station to assert myself, yes...but it is still frowned upon...and beyond my duty."

I scoff. "Pffsh, well excuse me milady for being crass...but, fuck that."

She laughs, her mouth held agape.

"Yea, you heard me...fuck that. Nothing, will ever change for the better if everyone just did what _they're supposed to do_...also, who dictates and controls what the actions of others are or ought to be anyway?"

"Well, God I suppose. And, well our husbands and fathers of course."

"God, gave humans freewill. And, men often seek to control...so pardon me when I say this but fuck husbands and fathers- fuck anyone who seeks to control another human being."

"You have rather bold opinions lady Wren...I must say they are most radical."

I cackle. "I hope I have not shocked you Aelflaed?"

She smiles and shakes her head. "No, you haven't...it is nice to see a woman with such boldness and such freedom."

" _All oppression creates a state of war...I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom._ "

"You seem quite wise milady to say such things..."

"Ha, if only I could claim ownership over those words! No, I'm afraid those words and sentiments belong to one of my lands great thinkers and writers- _Simone de Beauvoir_."

"A woman philosopher?"

"Yes, in my land women are capable of many things...we still face oppression and various inequalities, however we do have far more freedoms...so it's not entirely horrible."

"I would say...it sounds most lovely...if not unusual."

"I suppose it is unusual. But, aren't most things at the start?"

"Yes, I suppose so..."

"Things that are different and strange to the majority are often viewed as horrible or dangerous...but oftentimes it is only viewed that way because it is dissenting and challenging to the powers that be." I chuckle. "I mean even our lord Jesus was a revolutionary was he not? He challenged many...and many I am sure found him strange or his behavior to be inappropriate...doesn't mean he was wrong."

"Yes, but he got crucified."

"Precisely, because people didn't understand...and because he challenged those in power. It's kind of the nature of martyrdom and change though isn't it?"

Aelflaed smiles meekly at me as we continue our discussion whilst taking a turn around the garden.

"Have you heard of the patriarchy or toxic masculinity milady?"

"No, I have not."

I take her shoulder in hand and lead her away to take a seat upon a bench nearby.

I laugh. "Well, allow me to drop some truth and share some pearls of wisdom with you then..."

 

* * *

Uhtred's POV:

 

"I wish to take back my ancestral home- I wish to take back Bebbanburg."

"That is not an option right now I am afraid lord Uhtred."

"And why not? The war is over- now, is the perfect time to strike at my uncle...it is the perfect time to take back Bebbanburg. The Danes are scattered, and Wessex is more or less safe- I see no reason why I should not retake it- and I see no reason why Wessex's promise to aid me in such an endeavor should go unfulfilled."

"It is not that simple."

"How is it not that simple? Promises were made. And I have done my part to aid Wessex- now it is Wessex's turn."

"And I have every intention of fulfilling my late father's promise...Wessex will aid you in reclaiming Bebbanburg, Uhtred- just not right now. At present it is not a good moment."

"And why may I ask is now not at present a good moment?"

King Edward sighs heavily. "Uhtred, we face attacks by Danish soldiers along our borders and you ask why not now?"

I scoff. "They are mere slavers milord...nothing more. Simple ramble is all...I see no reason why a few small raiding parties ought to be a concern."

"See it is both my own belief and the beliefs of my fellow ealdormen that it is indeed something more. That it indeed warrants concern."

Edward steps down from his throne and begins to pace the hall.

"You see Uhtred...I have reason to believe that this increased disturbance along our borders coupled with our allies in Mercia's silence as warning of future provocations being lodged against us- I see it as a potential preparation for war... "

"Pffsh, Danes are not so organized milord...less so now with the death of Ragnar."

"They certainty were organized during our last battle."

"Yes, organization that my brother helped foster."

"Yet, organization that persisted even after his death."

I glare at the young king and he meets my gaze- matching it with his own steeled expression.

He sighs- running a hand through his thick curly hair. "Entire villages are being taken Uhtred. And, I intend to understand why and for what purpose."

I pause for a moment- trying to best formulate my next words. "It...is true milord that these Danes may be trying to gauge the extent of Wessex's power...yes. And, I will admit that it is likely that they wish to test the new young king."

Edwards brows furrow and I smirk- shrugging in response.

"But it is also possible that these are merely small raiding bands and slavers- nothing more, nothing less. They may just see the war and the death of your father as the perfect opportunity to take advantage of some chaos and uncertainty...slaves fetch a good bounty after all...and well raiding is what Danes do by nature." I chuckle.

Edwards face turns stern and stoic as he turns to address me. "I wish to establish without a doubt and with absolute certainty the extent of Wessex's stability and my power, as its rightful sovereign...I will not be questioned- and if I am to be tested than it shall be a test I intend to pass."

I scoff and gesture dismissively at the young king. "I am done with the affairs of Wessex milord...my promise was fulfilled the moment your father died and the moment the battle was won. I only ask you now to fulfill your end of the deal that was struck."

"I am sorry lord Uhtred...truly- for that is not something that I can at present do. Sacrifices have to be made for the good of the realm."

I scoff once more and laugh- my eyes glistening slightly with unfallen tears as I remember the death of my first son. "Oh, what sacrifices were made young Edward to ensure that your arse sits upon that throne." I spit out.

Steapa steps forward to intervene and take hold of me- and I turn to meet the king's loyal dog with a challenging gaze.

"No, Steapa- it is fine...let the lord Uhtred speak."

"Are you sure milord?"

"Yes, it is obvious that our lord Uhtred is upset right now...and I understand the reasons for it I do..."

I scoff again. "With all due respect lord king- you really have no idea the reasons for my words."

"Then help me to understand...you speak of sacrifices lord Uhtred...and I wish to know the meaning behind these words."

"Ask your mother what sacrifices were made and what deals were wrought to ensure that that crown sat upon your head if you wish to know more."

Edward stares at me in confusion.

I sneer at the boy king before continuing. "I have sacrificed more than you could ever know milord king...all for the sake of Wessex and Alfred's dream...I merely ask now that Wessex- that you, Alfred's son make a sacrifice in return."

A small silence falls over us, before Edward begins to speak once more. "I want you to know Uhtred that I wish to be a different king than my father...a fairer king if at all possible...and I wish to be a king that is not so sensitive to the thoughts and opinions of his subjects and ealdormen. So, please Uhtred speak plain to me as always...I like my father appreciate your counsel...however, I unlike my father do not intend to shy away from or become offended should the words of that counsel be words I do not wish to hear."

I scoff. "Then I hope you last boy king- for you may have the potential to become greater than your father."

"That greatness will not come without your aid lord Uhtred." Edwards says- shooting a small smile in my direction. "I acknowledge this- and I recognize the importance of your assistance and counsel in not only protecting Wessex but also in realizing my late fathers dream of a single unified realm. So, I ask of you Uhtred...just this one last time for your aid."

I sigh heavily, resigning myself once more to the fate of Wessex and it's king. "What would you have me do?"

The boy king breaks out in a small grin- a slight relishing of his small victory over me and my notorious stubbornness.

"I wish you to head north to Dunholm and to rendezvous with your former Danish acquaintances."

I laugh. "You wish me to walk into a trap?"

"No, I wish you to meet with Ragnar's cousin and your former paramour Brida and help to establish the truth of the situation- I wish to know whether they plan and organize for another war and if these raids and slavers are connected to that."

"Could this not be a job for a scout or a spy?"

"There is none I trust more than you Uhtred...and none who have the connection that you do to these Danes..."

"A connection I fear that has now been very much severed since the last battle."

"Irregardless...I wish to know what their plans are and why Wessex's borders remain under constant attack...I also wish to know the extent if any of our ally Mercia's involvement."

"Should you not be asking your sister about the state of Mercia? She is its lady."

"She has unfortunately gone silent as of late- it seems her husband has new advisors, interests and comforts...and so both her and my niece are cast from the lord of Mercia's embrace and his household." Edward sighs. "Which if I am entirely honest- I am most gladdened to hear."

I smirk at the last comment made- the obvious dig at Aethelflaed's husband.

"So, like I have said...there exists no new intel regarding the state of Mercia or the status of its allegiance to us."

"And so, you hope I will be able to obtain this intel and more, should I ride north and meet with Cnut and Brida?"

"I do. I also hope for the potential of peace as well."

I laugh. "You are as optimistic as you are young Edward."

"Indeed, I am. But I cannot rule out peace entirely...even if that peace is short-lived. I owe it to my people- both Saxon and Dane alike to try and broker a peaceful resolution."

"You are aware that peace with the Danes is highly unlikely?"

"I know it is...but it will be necessary if ever my father's vision of a unified England is to be realized."

I roll my eyes.

"I know you think it's silly lord Uhtred. I am aware of it...it is entirely a childish fancy- but it is a dream I owe to both my father, the people of Wessex, and the people that lie beyond its borders to try and realize. For this dream to happen peace needs to be on the table- and war...well war needs to be properly prepared for. I merely ask that you present peace as an option up for discussion and consideration, while simultaneously gathering intel for any potential hostility and confrontation."

"You wish for me to go in with a dual purpose?"

"I wish to have multiple options available to me. Like, I have said- I cannot rule out a consideration for peace...but I cannot be unprepared for war."

"And what of the fat one- Haesten? He now aligns himself with Cnut."

"Ah, yes...the treacherous snake himself. Should we be worried about him?"

I shrug- scratching at my beard. "To an extent. However, his allegiance is only to himself...he is a leech that latches onto opportunity. So, I would say worry not about him...at least for the time being. He is duplicitous yes...but wholly insignificant, as he lacks any real potential to organize or lead...his role for now is likely only one of support. Cnut and Brida will be the ones who hold the true power if any over the remaining factions of Danes- they will be the ones with the potential to unify another great army."

"Understood then. You shall ride north to Dunholm at once."

I begin to turn to leave- then turn my head to face the young king once more.

"So, you know Edward...this will be the last time I help Wessex and its king."

Edward nods. "It is noted. Steapa show lord Uhtred out please."

Steapa nods- taking a place at my side to show me out of the throne room.

I turn once more, beginning to leave the hall with Steapa beside me.

Edward yells out to me, and both myself and Steapa stop and turn to face the king.

"Uhtred...just know that both I and Wessex appreciate what you have done...and what you are doing. Your service has meant a great deal...and so...well, thank you Uhtred. Sincerely, and truly...thank you."

I smile weakly in reply to the young king and turn to leave with Steapa in tow once more.

I would now have to inform my oath-bound of our current mission...and I would likely have to address the issue of the slaver's possible connection to it all. I very much wanted to avoid causing Wren any undue distress and I feared bringing up the slavers or the Dane Tjorvi to her, since they likely were involved should this conspiracy prove true. I knew I couldn't keep the possible connection hidden from her...that the possible truth of the matter was inevitable and impossible to bury...that it would come to light in some way or need to be addressed in some kind of manner the closer we got to approaching Dunholm; but, despite it all I felt myself growing increasingly anxious about it and completely dreading the moment that such a conversation would arise.

Even though Wren was a more than capable warrior herself, I found myself wanting to protect her...wanting to keep her safe. I couldn't bare it if I were to lose another in my life; and, I dreaded the moment I would needlessly have to thrust her into danger and violence. I dreaded the moment when I would potentially reopen old wounds.

I admired Wren...I admired her spirit and her boldness...and I found every part of her completely intoxicating. Because of her, I was beginning to feel again, to truly and honestly feel once more in a way I had not felt since before Gisela had passed...and I wanted to protect that. I wanted to ensure that that feeling never vanished from me ever again.

I had begun to grow ever fond of Wren...of this young, strong, and stubborn woman bound to me through oath. She was my dark beauty...my woman- who denies my or any man's claim over her. She was different...breathtakingly and earth-shatteringly different. She was a small piece of Valhalla on earth...my Valhalla. And, I wanted to protect it no matter the cost.

 

 

 

 


	20. "The Lake & The Brotherhood of Battle-hardened Bastards"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Due to the increased tribute demands requested from me by the beast that is known as uni...it will sadly be a hot second until my next update. 
> 
> I sincerely apologize to those of you guys who are actually reading this (whoever you are out there), and hope that I am able to survive this last bit of assignments and the next bit of work I have to do on my dissertation project over here.
> 
> So, alas yet again apologies for the upcoming dry spell, and the delaying of future chapters.
> 
> As always please continue to let me know what you all think! And, once again thank you all for your support!]

 

* * *

 

I contemplated upon the prior events of several day's past- when Uhtred had returned from his discussion with king Edward. Uhtred had told us of his business with the king, and of our new mission up north. We were to ride north (much to the dismay of my ass which would likely end up calloused at this point from so much time spent on horseback) and meet with some of his former allies and friends- acquaintances from his former life as a Dane. He had mentioned to us all that the intent of this mission was for the lobbying of peace while simultaneously gathering whatever information we could in the likely event of another war breaking out.

I had very soon come to realize that life as one of Uhtred's oath bound was an unsettled life- one of constant travel whereby we oftentimes would be ferried away from one end of the isle to the next. I had come to accept that fate and that future- but that didn't mean that I particularly enjoyed it.

Stealing away a moment of relaxation and self-care; I found myself floating on the surface of a nearby lake- the sun beating down upon my bare body. My dark hair- wet and loose fanning outwards all around me. The water was a bit murky but more or less clear- not crystal clear, but not muddy or dirty...and certainty not as polluted as many of the bodies of water back in my own time had become. There were bits of grass, cattails, and some kind of aquatic strand of flowers floating with me on the surface of the bluish green tinted lake.

I was relieved to finally have a chance to properly clean my hair and body from its natural oils and the built-up levels of sweat and grime which come from prolonged travel. It had been awhile since I had last bathed- the last time being back in Cookham when I had desperately needed to wash the blood, grime, and trauma of past events from me...and even then, it hardly was an actual proper honest to God bath. It was nice to be able to steal away a moment or two by myself and away from the others to enjoy the cool water of the lake. It was also equally nice to float lazily upon the still surface and peacefully mediate under the shining early morning sun. I had grown quite accustomed to being able to swim and bathe in the open air by now, and even found myself to enjoy it.

(I mean...a lake was inherently a pale comparison to a bathtub and certainly bathing in a river or lake was nowhere on par with a bubble bath...but, I had to admit it was quite freeing- liberating even to float upon the surface of the water. All in all, it was peaceful, it was serene...or well, at least it _had_ been.)

When I heard the sounds of splashing and male laughter- I moved so fast I damn near drowned.

(I don't know why I dived down exactly...but, I suppose it was all in some kind of stupid and vain attempt to hide and preserve an inkling of my own modesty.)

"Bloody hell woman, I've never seen someone move so fast in my life- 'ya part fish lass?" I hear Finan croak out.

I rise up out of the water; after having dived down into its depths in an absolute panic; and begin to cough and spit up water and bits of leaves.

"Ah, baby monk- 'ya getting shy on us?" Finan continues.

"Osferth is here too?!" I manage to sputter out- horrified.

"I'm sorry milady, I didn't know you were going to be bathing...I'll just be over here." Osferth says with a fiery blush splattered across his face, as he swims further away from view to hide behind some tall overgrown cattails.

"Aye baby monk she don't bite- "

"Try me Finan." I growl.

Finan cackles. "Eh, is that a promise then? A tad bit cheeky of 'ya lass isn't it? And here I thought 'ya havin' a semblance of respectability about 'ya..." He says teasingly with a cocked brow- swimming closer.

I splash at Finan wildly.

"Baby monk forget 'wat I said...the lady likely chew 'ya up and spit 'ya out lad- she's a regular she beast that she is!" He says spitting up water and laughing.

"Ughhh!" I groan outwardly- only to be met yet again with Finan's growing laughter.

I splash at him again and push backwards to put some more distance between us in the water- using the various aquatic flora to help hide my nudity.

"Aye! Have a tad bit of sympathy for the poor wee lad...the only way baby monk here is likely gonna wet his cock 'wit a woman, is right in this here lake now. There's no need to be cruel to the poor inexperienced bloke eh?- " Finan teases.

"Milady he does not speak on my behalf!" A panicked Osferth quickly interrupts.

"Oh, my fucking God...kill me. Please, just kill me now..." I mummer to myself.

"Oh, relax girlie- it's not as if we've never seen a woman before." Finan says- rolling his eyes.

"You've not seen this woman!" I shoot back at him.

Finan smiles rakishly at me- a mischievous glint in his eye. "Aye, 'ya do have a point there, lass tis true..." He swims closer to me before continuing. "Perhaps, we ought to remedy that eh?"

Finan winks at me and continues to smirk- predatorily he continues to make his way forward in the water, circling me like a shark. I splash at him again- throwing various bits of flora and leaves at him.

"Do you have something that would be worth seeing lady?" I hear Uhtred voice teasingly- quickly whipping my head around to find him also swimming in my direction.

"No, absolutely not!" I stammer out in alarm- my face now reddened from embarrassment.

"Aye, Uhtred 'ya make a fair point there...maybe we ought to investigate- see what we're missin' eh?"

"I will drown you Irishman!" I snarl.

They both laugh, smirking at one another conspiratorially, before starting to swim over closer to me.

"Get out!" I scream in a panic, as I start splashing them both simultaneously.

"Oi! 'Ya don't bloody own the lake woman!"

"I do right now- now get out!"

Uhtred laughs. "Milady, you should let Finan stay- especially, given the smell of him after so many days travel." He teases.

"Aye, 'ya no bloody bed of roses 'ya self, milord." Finan shoots back.

"I don't care! Get out! Get out!" I screech- splashing and swimming away from them both.

As I'm backstroking away from the two cackling men, I look out towards the shore to see a half clothed Sihtric standing there hovering above where I had left my clothes.

Horrified I watch as the small Dane bends down and proceeds to pick up my bra- examining it curiously.

"Aye, Sihtric you gonna get in mate?" Finan yells out to the Dane.

"Si-Sih-Sihtric! Drop that at once!" I stutter towards him in a nervous cry.

Sihtric looks out to me- a look of confusion painting his face.

"What is it?" He says, stretching the length of the brassiere and its bands whilst running his fingers over the lacy fabric.

"Th-tha-that doesn't matter! Put it down!" I plea.

Finan smirks. "Aye, milady why are 'ya so worked up? Is our young Sihtric here touchin' somethin' he's not supposed to?" He teases.

I splash him.

Uhtred laughs as Finan starts to remove bits of foliage from his wet hair/beard that had become lodged there due to the force of my splash.

"Is it some kind of armor?" Sihtric asks- genuinely curious, and completely ignorant as to what he held.

My face is heated and red, and I feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust from absolute mortification.

The two men in the water nearest me cackle.

"Some kind of...breastplate perhaps?" Sihtric muses, inspecting and studying it further.

I felt like I was going to faint right there in the water at that exact moment in time.

"Yea, totally- something like that. Now, fucking drop it will you please!" I plead.

"But, I have not seen you in this armor Wren...?" Sihtric adds.

Uhtred smirks at me- probably now roughly guessing at the reasoning behind my total embarrassment I imagine.

"It- it's the private kind of armor!"

Sihtric bends down and has picked up the panties at this point.

"And this? This is part of the armor too then?" He says gesturing to the black lace and cotton panties in his hand.

(At that exact moment I wanted to sink down into the water and let it take me so much was my humiliation and mortification.)

Sihtric stands shirtless upon the shore; my bra draped over his arm, as he now begins to pull the band of my panties inward and outward- watching as the stretchiness of the fabric constricts.

(That was it. Enough was enough. And just like that I blew like a fucking top.)

Osferth still lay hiding somewhere, and Uhtred and Finan were certainly not jumping to my defense or aid anytime soon; so badly were their fits of laughter at this precise given moment.

And, just like that before I knew it my rage and humiliation had taken over and transformed into some kind of fuel- propelling me across the lake at damn near _Michael Phelps level speeds_ ; and before I truly realized it I was out of the water stark ass naked and standing before Sihtric glaring.

The laughter had immediately stopped echoing out from behind me.

Like a deer in the headlights, Sihtric stood there paralyzed and completely baffled. His face red, his mouth agape, and his dark eyes bulged at the sight of me.

My own eyes narrow on him, as I snatch my bra and panties from his grasp and quickly bend down to gather the rest of my clothing.

"Fuck off, all of you!" I yell back to the men behind me, both those on the shore and those in the water. "Hope you enjoyed the show, you fucking perverts!"

"I'm pretty sure I'd give it a standin' ovation lass!" A surprised and bemused Finan manages to snort out cheekily.

I groan, flipping them all the bird as my naked form storms off into the nearby tree line and away from view.

Finan chuckles, and Uhtred shoots him a steeled glare before splashing at him.

"Oi? What was that for?!"

 

* * *

Men's POV:

 

Only the men now remained at the lake, since a very naked Wren had but moments ago stormed off.

The young monk known as Osferth meekly swims up to his other companions. The Dane Sihtric still stands on the shore completely flabbergasted by what he had just seen but a mere moment ago.

"You didn't look, did you?" The young monk asks with concern.

"Pfft, what do 'ya think baby monk?"

Finan laughs- winking at Osferth, whose face grows a brighter and more crimson shade of red.

"I-I think that's horrible and a great dishonor to milady and-"

Finan rolls his eyes, before cutting the monk off mid-sentence. "Don't act like 'ya averted 'ya eyes when she done rose out the water like that, baby monk. So, just cut the shite and stop bein' all coy 'wit it will 'ya? 'Ya know 'ya right bloody took a wee little peek for 'ya self now."

Osferth stutters. "W-Well, for milady's honor we ought to forget what transpired here and say that nothing was seen!"

Uhtred sighs heavily and releases a small chuckle. "I doubt that would do much good friend...for there was...much... _much_ to be seen." He says clearing his throat, before smirking.

Finan laughs. "Aye, tis suppose, we could string a lie or two together for both the lady and the baby monk's benefit here..." He says scratching his beard. "But, to be honest 'wit 'ya that would be only me words and mouth doing the lyin' now...'cause lad, both me eyes and me brain certainly didn't lie 'wit what I done seen...even though for a split second I had thought they did." Finan adds- continuing to ramble.

"Th-That's not the point, Finan!" Osferth stammers.

"Eh, and what is the point of it then baby monk? Will 'ya be condoning us all sinnin' now? Tsk-tsk, for shame baby monk- tellin' us to disgrace ourselves before the good lord 'wit the lyin' and all." Finan teases with a small wink. "Plus, just look at the fuckin' state of Sihtric now will 'ya? He's been done crippled and paralyzed by the mere sight of it all."

Uhtred laughs, and Osferth huffs. Sihtric more or less remains shocked and stands motionless upon the shore.

"Indeed, it was a most impressive glimpse...I will admit." Uhtred laughs, getting lost in his own thoughts for a moment.

A minor spark of jealousy flitters across Finan's face at Uhtred's words and his now slightly lustful expression.

"Aye..." Finan replies- his jaw clenching. "Indeed, milord 'twas most unexpected..." Finan chuckles weakly, before continuing. "Might even have to change up me own bathin' habits now in light of things..." He adds half-jokingly to lift his mood.

At that exact moment father Beocca joins them- wading into the water. "Aye, and we would all be most grateful for it too...apart from the lady I imagine. You devil's ought to be ashamed of yourselves."

"Nice of you to join us priest." Uhtred says with a smirk.

"Don't start boy..." He replies sternly. "And, as for you Osferth- I expected this kind of behavior from these bloody heathens but not you son."

"I-I...I didn't- " Osferth stammers- blushing profusely.

"Ah, baby monk here- he's the worst of us all father! The little cheeky bastard had the full viewin' pleasure of it all 'til we happened upon him and put a stop to the little leche's ways."

Beocca rolls his eyes.

"Aye, and we were but protectin' the lady's modesty, we were- from the sinful eyes of tis 'supposed man of the cloth 'ya see..." Finan continues teasing.

Osferth turns a redder shade of crimson and Uhtred cackles.

"Th-That's not true Finan!"

Finan laughs, and father Beocca sighs heavily. "Cut the shite Finan, I know damn well what you all were up to and what you all did."

"Are 'ya all seein' like our lord in heaven now father?" Finan jokes.

"I'll have you know blasphemer, that one doesn't need to be all seeing when the woman herself comes storming into camp like a wet and angry hound sent from the depths of hell itself."

"Aye, so the lass is angry then?"

Beocca scoffs. "Hmpfh, she was very likely set upon tearing up the entire damned place- and she told me what you bloody wretches did in so many various colorful words and bits of phrasing...of that I assure you."

Uhtred bellows in laughter. "How much damage should we expect from the woman then Beocca?"

Beocca scoffs once again. "Well, I'll certainly have a tent to sleep in tonight. As for you bunch of sorry sods...I'll warn you here and now to be weary crawling into your bedrolls tonight."

"Which is precisely why we should ensure milady that nothing was seen!" Osferth exclaims in a huff.

Finan rolls his eyes. "And, back to this 'shite now, I see..."

"I am only trying to protect milady and save a semblance of her dignity and honor- honor that you yourself are seemingly content upon degrading!" Osferth says, in an angered flurry- thrashing water over onto the Irishman.

"Oh, enough 'wit it will 'ya!" He says, splashing back. "Save 'ya bloody words monk and 'ya poor sorry excuses- 'ya not some paragon of goodness alright and 'ya transparent for all to see!"

"Finan..." Uhtred warns- sensing the Irishman's rising temper.

"And, don't 'ya be tellin' me now Uhtred to calm me self 'cause tis about time the fuckin' lad be hearin' the truth now!"

Beocca sighs heavily and just swims away from the trio of men.

"Baby monk, fact of the matter tis this...'ya only be carin' about the lass and her honor so far as savin' 'ya precious reputation 'wit her goes. Nothin' more and nothin' less 'ya see? So, shove off it already will 'ya?"

"I-I...that's not true!"

"Fuckin' lord Jesus give me strength..." Finan rubs at his forehead, and sighs. "Just admit it to 'ya self, lad and stop it 'wit all the boyhood crush shite, and the fuckin' puppy dog eyes already! Move on, will 'ya? She ain't never 'gonna fancy 'ya. Woman like that fancy men not boys- and they certainly ain't got no fuckin' use for pinnin' puppies."

"Tha-That's not it at all Finan! Nor, is it at all the point or reasoning for my words!" Osferth stammers, his voice cracking slightly.

"Fuckin' hell- are 'ya about to cry on me now, baby monk?" Finan scoffs.

"Go to hell Irishman!" Osferth spits out- swimming away.

"Aye! Try not to drown on 'ya tears baby monk- enough water in this here lake as it tis!" Finan shouts out to him.

Uhtred sighs heavily- turning his attention towards his Irish brother in arms. "Finan, you have teased young Osferth enough by now, no?" He states coolly.

"Aye, aye...'suppose I have." Finan sighs. "Apologies, Uhtred...I ought not to have pushed the baby monk so- but, the little pious 'shite had been pissin' me off a right proper fuckin' heap now...and well, admittedly I lost me self a bit there and 'twas not me finest moment."

Uhtred shrugs. "Indeed, you were a fucking arse Finan." He says smiling and nudging his shoulder. "But, there was some truth to your words friend...no matter how harsh."

"Aye, I'll make efforts to apologize to the lad later." Finan sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Uhtred nods. "A step in the right direction to be sure- but first, give him time to think and to lick his wounds and perhaps even seek comfort from his God..." Uhtred says smiling. "Since, apparently it is only the Christian God who is likely to provide our poor Osferth with comfort for the foreseeable future."

Finan laughs. "Eh, and who is being the arse now Uhtred?"

"What? I did not say it to his face." Uhtred replies with a smirk- backstroking away from him and towards the shore.

Finan chuckles and swims forward- following Uhtred closer to the embankment where Sihtric is now removing the last of his clothing and beginning to cautiously approach the water.

"Oi, Sihtric...how 'twas the front view?" Finan yells out to his Danish companion.

Sihtric remains silent- stopping to dip his toe into the water as Finan swims over closer to him.

"Bloody hell mate, she's more Aphrodite than Gorgon- don't be actin' like 'ya done been turned to stone now." Finan says playfully to Sihtric- splashing him.

Sihtric breaks his silent stoicism and shakes his wet head. "What the hell Finan?!"

Finan flashes a shit-eating grin. "'Ya looked like 'ya could use the cold water."

Uhtred cackles and Sihtric scoffs, rolling his eyes whilst wading slowly into the water.

"Fuck you Finan."

"Oi, love 'ya too little Dane!" Finan replies with a cheeky grin.

 

* * *

Wren's POV:

 

Following the incident at the lake, half of the men couldn't bear to look at me due to the embarrassment of it all and the other half kept giving me leering looks and shooting me rakish grins- no doubt attempting to see me in a state of undress yet again, only this time with their imaginations.

I made sure though to properly lay into Uhtred the second he had returned, and the second we were granted a moment alone together. I had thought that this would offer me a kind of clarity of mind or at the very least make me feel better...it did neither.

"Do, you not care that your apparent _woman_ was seen nude by all of your guard?" I snarl, accusingly.

He smirks. "I thought you weren't my woman...that you belonged to no man?"

"I-I am not...I-I do! Just having some defense backing me up there would have been nice!" I manage to stammer out.

Uhtred shrugs. "I am not concerned about the other men...you ought not to be either. I am confident in my position enough, to not feel threatened."

"That's not the point! I don't fucking care if you don't feel threatened! Also, how can you claim to want a relationship with me and then just fucking allow this shit to happen?!"

Uhtred laughs. "Oh, Wren we were all just having a bit of fun...I didn't expect you to just march out of the lake and put everything on display like that!"

I scoff. "Even so- like what the fuck Uhtred? Who the fuck does that? What the fuck ever happened to chivalry?! I mean, I knew it was supposedly dead- I just figured it had a few more centuries!" I continue to madly rant and rave. "You turned me into a fucking joke Uhtred! A fucking mockery! And- "

He chuckles. "Are you done woman?" He interjects.

"No! I am not fucking done!"

Uhtred laughs. "Gods, woman what language and what mouth you have on you!" He teases.

"Fuck off Uhtred!" I growl.

He chuckles then sighs. "Calm yourself, Wren. It was all only in jest...in good fun and- "

Finan appears seemingly out of nowhere, and soon ends our privacy- interrupting Uhtred mid-sentence. "Oi, baby monk and the father sent me to tell 'ya all that the food will be ready soon and- " Finan smirks, his eyes darting between both me and Uhtred. "Am I interruptin' somethin' then?" He says.

"Ugh!" I throw my hands up in exasperation. "You all are fucking children who take your teasing way too far, you know that?! Fuck you- fuck all of you!" I say pointing to Uhtred. "And, especially fuck you Finan!" I say to Finan, knocking into his shoulder and forcing my way past him and back towards camp.

"Wren- c'mon Wren!" Uhtred yells out laughing.

"Eh, take it the lass is still cross 'wit us then?" Finan says, turning to Uhtred.

Uhtred cackles. "She is like all the Furies in one woman's body friend." He says, slapping Finan playfully on the back.

 

* * *

 

We sat around the campfire later that afternoon eating our meals in complete and utter silence. I was still stewing from the previous lakeside incident and although my rage had tapered out into a slowing simmer, it had not completely vanished and dissipated entirely from me. The mood was sufficed to say quite sour at this present moment, and I sat there silently and aggressively shoveling food into my mouth whilst glaring at the men seated around me.

Osferth sat there sulking for the entire duration of our meal, with a blushing awkwardness streaked across his youthful face and a look of complete guilt. Sihtric couldn't even look at me or meet my eye without blushing and choking on his own food. Uhtred just looked bemused by it all and had this infuriatingly lustful look about him every time I caught sight of him raking his eyes all over me. And, well Finan ran the gambit between them all- having looked at some moments potentially embarrassed or uncomfortable and pensive about some thing or another, to at other moments staring at me with an inappropriate degree of familiarity, mouth full of grub and smirking.

It was the most annoying of all the reactions to be honest, and I found it completely curious if not exhausting how Finan could go from lighthearted and full of jokes one moment to serious and moody the next.

Even though my own anger and bitterness were unabashedly on full display for all to see; there seemingly lingered animosity beyond that of my own in the air- animosity I felt that remained unspoken between the men. The men's reactions to me were obvious and plain to see, but they didn't even bother speaking or looking at one another- which was quite unusual for this brotherhood of warriors. Perhaps, something must have happened after I left? I thought, perhaps that father Beocca had laid into them after I ran into him on my way back to camp...if so that certainly would explain matters. Also, if that were indeed the case then I owed the man my sincere thanks; especially since he was the only one who seemed unamused by the whole incident, and the only one it appeared who had bothered coming to my defense over it.

Shoveling the last of my food into my mouth, I threw the bowl down onto the ground in front of me. I ignored the attentions of the men and the unsettled nature of the atmosphere to the best of my abilities, and began to comb out the remaining tangles in my still somewhat dampened hair.

Finan clears his throat, before finally breaking the silence. "Aye, Wren none of us really got a good look 'ya know- so, 'ya can rest assured that 'ya modesty is safe lass..."

Osferth scoffs, and Finan smirks.

I immediately start shooting the Irishman across from me cold, steeled daggers.

"I mean apart from Sihtric over here who got an eye full." Finan continues, chuckling and ignoring my death stare.

Uhtred takes a bite of food and smiles cheekily.

A blushing Sihtric looks up at me momentarily before quickly averting his eyes downward towards the fire; he clears his throat and begins poking at the flaming logs with a stick.

"Milady, I saw nothing..." Osferth soon declares.

Beocca sits quietly eating his food before finally excusing himself to tend to the horses. He smacks Finan aside the back of the head as he passes by.

"Owh, fuckin' hell priest...what was that for?"

"You bloody well know what that was for boy." Beocca sneers.

Beocca soon makes his departure from the lingering awkwardness and tension that was the group at this precise moment. Following his lead, I soon begin to make my own kind of retreat- opting to assist the father with whatever he needed to do rather than sit a second longer with this group of bastard men.

"I'm going to see if Beocca needs any help..." I say awkwardly, before leaving to go help Beocca with the horses.

I had firmly come to accept that these idiot boys parading as men, would likely cause a blood vessel to rupture and for me to unexpectedly have an aneurysm at any given point in time. The events at the lake had only confirmed this in my mind. If I didn't end up killing them first, they most certainly would be the death of me.

 

* * *

 

So, understandably I was quite livid after the incident at the lake and I honestly had wanted to waterboard them all in their sleep; _but somehow_ , I eventually got over it all and managed to put the past behind me.

(I became the _better person_ as it were...and people say miracles don't exist?)

We still had a long journey ahead of us and it was a journey with uncertain outcomes once we reached our final destination. The uncertainty and unpredictability of our mission bred in me certain anxieties...and I realized that I didn't want to risk creating any kind of future regrets- the kind of regrets that my anger might very well help facilitate. Therefore, after much (and I mean _much_ ) self-reflection and much discussion with father Beocca, I came to realize that it was more effort to stay angry at them than to just move on.

(Don't get me wrong deep down there was still a grudge buried within me...I came after all from a people and a family who held firmly and tightly onto grudges like they were the fucking _golden ticket_...and well, something that innately within you doesn't just vanish overnight and die, _let me tell you!_ )

I had to face the facts though- that like it or not this band of battle-hardened bastards we're my new companions, my new family, and my new sense of stability in my otherwise less than stable situation and my otherwise less than grounded world. Ultimately, I owed Uhtred and the others my life and my freedom; that couldn't be denied or ignored. So, while I couldn't entirely forget how much the whole ordeal had pissed me off...I also couldn't forget how much these men had come to mean to me and how much I had come to stupidly care for them.

 

 

 


	21. "What's Left Unspoken- The Nightmare & The Looking Glass"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AN: Apologies for such a prolonged and late update here guys. I've been struggling massively with school stuff, ongoing health issues, and other bullshit life seems to like throwing my way.
> 
> I'll try to be better about posting and not leaving you all in a lurch for months on end- but again, no concrete promises...my health issues like to flare up and they like to rollercoaster quite a bit and it makes staying on top of things (even things I really enjoy doing) very difficult and exhausting.
> 
> As always please continue to let me know what you all think! And, once again thank you all for your support and kind words. I love you guys! <3 Xoxox]

* * *

 

Our fondness for one another prior to the lakeside occurrence had grown slowly but steadily over the passing days; however, it remained largely hidden from outside parties. We hadn't been physical with one another apart from the odd stolen kiss here and there away from the sight of the other men (I hadn't wanted to deal with the awkwardness of the whole band knowing about us...at least not until I fully knew what exactly we were or what we were shaping up to be); so the tension between us had remained ever present and high.

Also, I couldn't help but think that he omitted a few details pertaining to our mission- certain particulars that he was choosing to hide from me. My intuition could tell me something was wrong; Uhtred was becoming distant at times- not necessarily in the physical sense but in the mental sense almost. His mind seemed to always be elsewhere; and I would catch him oftentimes staring at me with this perplexing look upon his face, and when I asked him what was the matter, he would just smile and shake the look off- moving to distract me or to change subjects.

It was so unlike what I had come to know of the warrior thus far. He seemed so direct, so bold, so confident; he was admittedly all those things and more of course; but now...now he seemed different...he seemed not so much embodying those previous qualities as he had once before. Uhtred seemed as if he was concerned, worried about something almost; which was far from the seemingly carefree Uhtred I had come to know and grow increasingly fond of.

I had of course since forgiven Uhtred of his role in the whole lakeside debacle, and we more or less had picked up our relationship where it left off, _minus a few hiccups here and there of course_ , and of course minus the aforementioned. We would- like many couples, often fall into little tiffs and arguments with one another; and the problem with it all of course was that we were both at times stubborn, and hot-headed, which made it all the more volatile when we did quarrel. An even larger problem was that I unlike Uhtred had a tendency to let my anger and my emotions run away with me. Uhtred was far more rational than I was admittedly, and also in a weird way sensible (although you wouldn't guess it at first glance)- I however was not.

I had thought that I once had been somewhat sensible or pragmatic in the past (err...well, future that is) but I wasn't entirely sure anymore...I wasn't entirely sure of anything. I had thought that the person I used to be was better than the person I had now become. Although, perhaps I had just been lying to myself...perhaps, all this time I had been painting my past personality and self with a brush of virtue and in pleasing tones and flattering shades. Maybe, I always was like this? Maybe, it just wasn't so noticeable before because I always had fought so hard to maintain control...perhaps, my volatile and difficult nature was obscured before or placated by the comforts and distractions of the 21st century from whence I came?

I had become far more reactionary than I had been before...that much was plain to me. And it was a difficult thing to swallow and admit about myself.

Moreover, another difficult thing to realize was that I had never really been in a real serious relationship before- and that this may have been the beginnings of perhaps my one and only serious relationship of any kind; and it hit me with an almost unbelievably deft precision that my past-future self-had been so disgustingly and almost embarrassingly a total and complete trope and stereotype of textbook millennialism- especially so far as romance was concerned.

(I mean my idea of romance largely had devolved into simplistic single digit movements- swipe left or right and go from there. And, I mean there had been past flings and lovers before- I'm not saying there hasn't been...there was that one time in high school with that one boy whose name I can't even remember anymore, and then in college of course with the girl from my improvisational movement class, where curiosity had somewhat turned into something vaguely serious. But honestly it was never anything long term or concrete. Nothing lasting beyond a few weeks or months and nothing that felt so intense and chaotic...and well terrifying as what was slowly developing between Uhtred and I.)

Indeed, if I had known anything about romance or the affairs of the heart, then I had long forgotten it- because any concept of love and courting was shit best left to the realm of fiction. Or at least it should be, I thought. In the classical sense, there's no control in courting or romance...and control like I have said before...control brings certainty, and well- certainty brings comfort. Maybe this loss of control is what made me more reactionary? Made me more stubborn and heated- more prone to anger? I churned this idea in my head quite a bit- kicking it around like a ball...and well, I came to the conclusion that I probably hadn't fully accepted what had happened to me yet...that I hadn't fully deep down come to accept that I had been thrown backwards in a time and place not my own. I was essentially trying to plant roots in foreign and ineffective soil- and subconsciously, I think my brain was still deeply fighting against it all...rejecting it even to some extent. I felt oddly like an invasive species at times...like one of those plants that don't belong in a certain biome or like some kind of alien flora which can and should only be grown in a greenhouse far away from everything else. I felt still somewhat out of place, and there were days when I felt like I was just going through the motions or merely playing at life- that I was distracting myself merely with the day to day. I joined Uhtred and his band of merry men to give myself something...some kind of foundation, some kind of home, some kind of family- and while I certainly felt like these men gave me all that and more, and that our mission gave me a kind of purpose...there were days when I inexplicably and irrationally found myself feeling the complete opposite.

 

I was romantically retarded. I was angry. And, I was confused.

 

Simply put, I was a hot mess.

 

* * *

 

The thing about  _hot messes_ is that they can be a breeding ground for some truly fucked up stuff...

 

The human brain can be a terrifying thing...likewise so can the human heart.

 

I came to soon realize the aforementioned as I shot out of bed one night in a sweaty heap upon being revisited by my long absent night terrors. Nightmares and terrors which had taken a new and more horrifying form.

(Oh, what great friends do phantoms of trauma's past do make!)

 

My nightmare friends, was as follows:

I was trapped inside a hall of mirrors- think the kind of rooms you find within a funhouse (by the way, I never understood why they called them funhouses because in this very instance it was the very opposite of fun- in fact the name took a shade of immense and sharply colored irony to it).

It was complete darkness inside the room except for the illumination of the mirrors- and the lovely tune of someone whistling _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_ was the only sound to be heard...apart from the sound of my own shallow breathes as I made my way through the glass maze.

The air was thick- muggy like the humid air of a heatwave. I twisted and turned in confusion, in complete panic, and before long I was lost in this reflective labyrinth...lost and powerless. I looked up at my reflection and saw a thousand- a million _me's_...but it wasn't the _me_ as I knew it. Instead of _me_ I saw myself as a little girl- a child...and in the mirrors I was alone. Always alone.

I stepped forward and went to reach my hand out- to comfort the child that was _me_ , but my foot suddenly stuck and squelched on the floor below. Looking down at my boots I saw that the floor beneath me was black and sticky- tar, syrupy textured blackness- and upon closer examination I realized that it was thick and sappy with darkened pools of blood.

I quickly looked up from my blood-soaked boots- the child that had been _me_ was gone and I looked into the mirrors upon mirrors in search of her and saw that in her place there was now Juliette standing, with her throat slit. I looked on in horror as young Juliette stood there- blood pooling and adding to the ground below. She smiled at me briefly- _like she used to do...when she was happy...when she was alive..._

I wanted to scream, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. Juliette smiled warmly at me one last time- then collapsed suddenly to the ground and disappeared beneath the pools of blood and darkness on the floor.

I watched as she sunk below into the depths- eventually fading from all sight. I quickly closed my eyes, my hands griping my ears as the whistling tune grew louder and louder- ever closer and encroaching upon me. My head felt as if it was about to split and my eyes shot open once more.

In the ever-maddening reflective prison that I was confined within- I saw Uhtred, Beocca, Sihtric, Osferth, and Finan- one by one...I saw each one of my companions fall to the same fate as young Juliette.

Again, I could not scream.

The room spun around me, the melodious song and whistling growing louder and louder- drowning out even the sound of my own heartbeat.

Then- nothing. Silence.

I'm on my hands and knees sinking into the thick tar of the bloodied black floor- I look up once more to the mirrors...to my own reflection.

Tjorvi with a sinister smile painted upon his face is holding me close- a blade pressed firmly at my throat.

I could not scream even if I had wanted to...because it was too late.

 

* * *

 

I shot up awake- sweat pooling down my face, gasping for air, and clawing at my neck where but only a few seconds before I had felt the hot steel of a blade cut through me.

It had felt like molten lava; it had cut through my skin with such ease it was terrifying- like butter...my throat had been so easily sliced...every vein and major artery severed in one single stroke. The stroke should have been quick, easy, painless even...but it wasn't. It was slow...prolonged...time had stilled...I watched myself- felt myself, slowly  _die._

I wanted to scream when I woke but it came out as soft and quiet as a pitiful whisper. A gasp for breath when there's no air...the vastness of unbreathable space- no oxygen, no reprieve...just sinking into unfathomable darkness. The red liquid curtains parting from my neck giving way to stage black...to nothingness...no act 2...no intermission...nothing...absolutely nothing but fear, regret, and shame.

Quickly my eyes scanned my surroundings trying desperately to anchor myself back into reality. When I saw that I was indeed back at camp and that all the men still lie sleeping soundly around me, I calmed considerably- breathing in a huge sigh of relief. It had only been a dream. A horrible shitty dream.

"Can't sleep either eh?"

I heard the sound of the thickly accented Irishman sing out to me from the direction of the dying camp fire behind me.

I turned and faced towards the Celt- who sat awake in his bedroll, staring absently into the slow glowing embers and ash.

I nodded at him and swallowed hard- my mouth feeling course and dry suddenly. I felt around in the darkness for a moment in search of my waterskin- dismayed to see that it now lay empty.

"Here, take 'tis it'll do 'ya better than water."

I grabbed the canteen that Finan held out to me on offer and drank deeply from it.

"Thanks." I replied, wiping my mouth and coughing slightly at the burning sensation of the liquor pouring down my throat.

Finan smiles softly at me before taking the canteen from me and taking his own swig.

"So, how long have you been awake?"

"Eh, long enough lass to see 'ya were havin' a tough time of it there in 'ya sleep now- all writhin' and shakin' and all, like 'ya possessed by the devil himself."

My eyes narrow as I stare through the darkness at him accusingly. "So, you've been sitting here just watching me sleep then? Yea, cause that's not creepy at all Finan..." I scoff, rolling my eyes up at him through the dim light.

Finan chuckles softly then grows silent for a moment. "Ahem, 'ya know if 'ya ever want to talk about _'em_ or 'ya know... _whatever-_  I'm here."

I scoffed at first not sure what to do or how to respond- first mistaking his genuine sincerity with a kind of feigned concern or mockery, and wanting to just laugh it all off. However, I soon realized that this was one of those rare moments of seriousness for Finan, and I could vaguely make through the dark and faint glow of dying embers- the look of absolute serious concern and sincerity upon his face.

I managed a weak smile in his direction and nod my thanks at his concern- a nonverbal gesture whose meaning he seemed to grasp.

Finan smiles- a kind of unusual soft smile...one that drastically differed from his usual cheeky and rakish grins that I had become all too familiar with.

I stare at him for a moment through the darkness, trying to understand this weirdly serious and soft Finan that sat before me.

I began to open my mouth to speak before Finan himself interrupts me with a cough- awkwardly clearing his throat and shooting his eyes downcast towards the ground.

"So...'ya know 'ya aren't the only one who be havin' nightmares from time to time..."

"Oh?"

"Ahem, yea...just to say that 'ya aren't alone and all that lass." He awkwardly replies- scratching his beard and avoiding direct eye contact.

"Is that why you're awake? A nightmare?"

Finan speaks- his voice barely above a whisper. "Aye, we all got our demons now don't we love...?" He clears his throat again before continuing. "That and well someone had to keep watch eh?"

With that concluding remark- his face melts back into the cheeky _laissez faire_ Finan that I'm more familiar with.

I grow silent for a moment, and anxiously fidget with my hands.

"You know...the same goes for you Finan..."

"Same?- "

"If you ever want to talk or anything, I'm here...you know- for you..."

Finan opens his mouth like he wants to say something but quickly closes it.

The men sleeping around us begin to slowly stir.

"Aye, what time is it 'ya wager?" He says- scratching his beard then rubbing the back of his neck, anxiously.

"Finan..."

"Eh, not long 'till dawn now- give or take a few hours maybe...'tis my guess..." He continues on, ignoring me.

"Finan- "

He quickly stands up and begins to make his way past me.

"I ought to check on the horses now...daylight be breakin' soon and all, and we'll be needin' to prepare to leave and- "

I grab the sleeve of his arm as he passes, and he immediately stops.

He stops moving, talking- everything...in fact it almost for a split second looks like he's even stopped breathing.

I look up at him with silent concern. His chest heaves in and out with heavy breaths before finally he turns to look at me.

He looks down at me and sighs. "Lass, 'ya got to stop lookin' at me like that through thick lashes 'wit them big doe eyes and all..."

I snort out a soft chuckle and instantly drop his arm. "And, here I am making the mistake of trying to give a shit about you and all..."

"Aye, I'm just sayin', 'ya gonna go breakin' the poor lad Osferth's heart even more now starin' at me 'wit such a pinin' look and all." He continues- teasing.

I scoff, mildly insulted and also entertained (okay, Celt...I'll bite). "Pining look?"

"Aye, definitely pinin'..." He says- smirking.

"You're delusional."

"And 'ya pinin'."

"No one's pining here Irishman."

"Ah, see that's where 'ya wrong lass- "

His smirk slowly falls, and he begins to stare at me intensely- seriously...gone is the teasing glint and twinkle in his eye from before and replacing it- replacing it, is something new...something strange and weird.

"Finan?"

"Wren, I- I should tell 'ya that I- "

Uhtred stirs and wakes- yawning and rubbing at his bright blue orbs in the dull growing light of the encroaching dawn.

"Uhh...I- mean, I-I just should tell 'ya I got to tend to 'em horses now...so- " He clears his throat. "I'll be seein' 'ya...that's all."

"That's all? It's just...you looked like you wanted to say something else and- "

"Aye, lass 'tis 'ya turn to make breakfast..." He coughs once more and quickly is on his way.

Uhtred rolls over blinking sleepily up at me and smiles. "Good morning beautiful."

"Good morning Uhtred."

 

 


End file.
